Overheard in D.C.: The Coming Tourist Plague
Making fun of ignorant tourists is the oldest thing in the D.C. book, aside from maybe complaining about the weather or comparing the city to New York. There's the old Metro shenanigans, getting buildings confused, dumb questions, fanny packs, on and on. But just because we've heard it before, doesn't mean it won't make you smack yourself in the head. And today it's a double whammy.
Overheard of the Week
On the Red Line:
Tourist girl, loudly: "Hey! Where's that tall pointy thing?!" (looks at metro map) "Oh, Smith Stadium!"
Friend: ".....Smithsonian."
(silence)
Tourist girl: "Does this thing go to New York City?"
After the jump, blacking out, non-doctors, missing the point, STDs, and more classic tourist dumbosity.
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Photo by runneralan
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Surely she is referring to a charismatic church service. In Adams Morgan. On a Friday night.
Friday at Calvert and 18th Street:
A girl sitting with group of friends on the stoop: "God blacks me out for a reason."
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The employee must have been a chiropractor
At G Street Hour Eyes, 1 p.m. on Thursday:
Customer: "I know you guys have optometrists, but do you have opthamologists?"
Employee: "No, ma'am, they went to school."
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Yay environment!
At the Bed Bath and Beyond in Columbia Heights:
20-something couple are checking out at the register. 20-something sales girl ringing them up. One big bag is already full and there's one more large object to go, but it has handles.
Guy: "Don't worry about bagging that. We'll just carry it...no need to waste another bag."
Sales Girl: "Oh, OK. Or I can just put it in your other bag. And double-bag it for you."
Blank stares all around.
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Another tourist classic
On the Mall:
Women, to a group of kids, while pointing at the Capitol: "Do you know what that is?"
Kid 1: "Is that the White House?"
Women: "Yep!"
Kid 2: "Whoa, that's really the White House? Cool!"
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The weekly "yikes" overheard
At the Brookland Metro, last Thursday morning
A little girl, probably 7 or so, to her mom: "You'll know who I am when I passin' out $20s."
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Most devoted boyfriend ever. Seriously, someone watch a football game with him or something.
Leaving Sex and the City at Gallery Place on Sunday night:
Boyfriend to his girlfriend: "I'm going to smell like estrogen for days!"
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That's a stereotype we hadn't heard before
Outside Aroma in Cleveland Park:
Early 30s guy on his cell: "You definitely have an STD dude... you definitely picked up
something."
...pause...
Guy (matter-of-factly): "Yeah, well that's what you get for dating a girl from rural Maryland."