Too bad the roles couldn't have been reversed.

he almost hit me (i was on my bike) about a year or so ago when he was exiting thomas circle onto massachusetts ave. wasn't driving fast or anything, he just probably didn't see me.

Go cyclist!

"Douchebag of Liberty" is my new favorite variation of "douche," replacing "douchewaffle."

Thanks, DCist, for making my cursing more colorful!

He almost hit me near GW's MPA Bldg as he was pulling into the underground garage (back when 'Crossfire' was taped there). Aging man in a lipstick red Corvette with the top down just screams...small penis

"He's not dead, that's the main thing..."

So let me get this straight, an unknown individual has been struck by an automobile. The condition of this unknown individual is unknown, and Martin Austermuhle, DCist, and the rest of the commenters here react with smug glee.

Call not to see for whom to call a douchebag, the douchebag is thee.

Call not to see for whom to call a douchebag, the douchebag is thee.

Who's the more douchebaggy: the douchebag, or the douchebag who calls him out on it?

(The correct answer is "the original douchebag." Also, Han shot first.)

MikeB, but that isn't really important here, is it?

MrTinDC, he's overcompensating for a lack of anatomy.

I thought the pedestrian tag would lead to a comment about how Novak is elitist... Sigh.

I'm with timtheviking2. What we need are pedestrian vigilantes doling out sweet juicy street justice.

Ever since Poverty Pimp and Touchy/Feely White Liberal joined the civil servant's union, their commitment to crime fighting has fallen while their commitment to 2 hour lunches and sick leave has tripled.

Neither do douchebags who can't be bothered to read the story, RyanK.

Bono said the pedestrian, who was crossing the street on a "Walk" signal and was in the crosswalk, rolled off the windshield and then Novak made a right into the service lane of K Street. “The car is speeding away. What’s going through my mind is, you just can’t hit a pedestrian and drive away,” Bono said.

This kinda crap is only going to get worse as more decrepit, senile batfart boomers retire yet continue to terrorize everyone with their insane driving antics, perpetual left turn signals, and stench of Ben Gay and failure. Yet Fenty continues to refuse to go to the roof of city hall and light the Poverty Pimp signal (silhouette of huge-brimmed feather hat and crunk cup).

Horrors! Penile challenged pundit pounds pedestrian!
Yet our pimped-out pair of heroes is nowhere to be found?
Will he keep his pimp hand strong in time to rope this renegade Republican?
Tune in tomorrow! Same Pimp time, same Pimp channel!

He is a big Terps fan. FREDTERP

"I kick it, or if it's a rainy day, whack it with my umbrella."

Personally, I like to spit on them. Because hey, if they complain I'll just say "I swear officer, I just didn't see him there."

You need to start carrying around your pet egg. It might "accidentally" "fall" out of your hand and hit the car. (Egg on car paint -> not good) And you can sue pain and suffering over the death of your pet!

You need to start carrying around your pet egg. It might "accidentally" "fall" out of your hand and hit the car. (Egg on car paint -> not good) And you can sue pain and suffering over the death of your pet!

I'm a traditionalist: I have a pet rock. Ok, it's actually a half of a cinder-block. Spray painted day-glo orange.

"Call not to see for whom to call a douchebag, the douchebag is thee."

Self-righteousness, thy name is Guest Guest.

Go cyclist!

Oh, yeah! Somebody send David Bono flowers to put on his desk next to his big brass balls! This guy plants his bike in front of Novak to keep the a-hole from getting away. Probably not the smartest thing in the world to do, but the boy has chutzpah! And BIG balls!

Fenty, give him the key to the city!

seriously. i think i'm a little in love with bono. rowwrr. that's my kind of take-charge, kick-novak-ass cyclist.

this bono wasn't wearing any strangely chartreuse tinted ginormous sunglasses was he? nah. this bono would squint into the unforgiving sun without eye protection.

"P.S. David Gregory frequents the Starbucks right next to that garage. Also free free to let him know how much he sucks."

A bit off topic, but am I the only one who thinks David Gregory resembles a 7 foot tall Muppet?

does anyone seriously think the MPD will pursue further charges against novak? i highly doubt it.

i laughed when i read about the car: a corvette! i did not even know they make them anymore....

Isn't hit and run a felony?

to DL_in_DC and ibc:

Thanks for making me laugh out loud for the first time today. It's been a long day :)

From:

Head of State

http://headofstate.blogspot.com/2008/07/mission-to-18th-and-k.html

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Mission to 18th and K

The decision of a 66 year old pedestrian to splay himself across the innocent windshield of columnist Robert Novak's Corvette convertible on July 23, 2008 was made routinely, at a low level of intellectual consideration and attention, without the columnist's knowledge. Remarkably, this produced a firestorm of media attention that has yet to subside.

Witnesses' reports that Novak drove directly into the pedestrian, who was crossing on the "Walk" signal, that the pedestrian was splayed across the windshield involuntarily, as a result of being struck by Novak's vehicle, and that Novak then drove away from the scene of the hit-and-run until a witness on a bicycle chased Novak, having to repeatedly block his vehicle to prevent Novak's attempts to escape from the scene were highly unlikely, regarded by the columnist as less than definitive, and it is doubtful that Novak ever saw him. Certainly officers on 18th Street did not, before they arrived at the downtown address, attributing Novak's behavior to "reckless driving" and issuing a $50 citation.

That witness reports relied on the statements of a bicycle riding, knapsack wearing, possibly liberal and environmentalist lawyer made Novak's mission, moments earlier, the basis of unhinged Democratic accusations of "hitting a 66-year old man who was legally crossing the street" and "driving away after an accident victim was spread across the hood of your car", though these accusations were apparently forgotten by the time Novak was faced with reporters at the scene, and in response to their questions, tersely spoke.

Reluctance by the pedestrian to admit a mistake has led Democrats increasingly closer to saying that Novak dissembled about his actions when driving through the crosswalk. Even after a belated interview with TMZ, in which, in a quasi-apology rich with the dark irony for which he is noted, he stated that he was distracted while driving by "listening to NPR," finger-pointing at the events in the intersection continued. Messages between the Politico, Think Progress hashed over the quotes from witnesses, while more rational blogs speculated that the accident had been a set-up by liberal operatives, who hoped to draw attention from statements by John McCain praising the surge.

Novak's mission was created in his early crusading efforts to reform pedestrian behavior, using the clear, honest, visionary prose for which he has long been known. In 2001, he reportedly cursed at a jaywalker only blocks from the White House, on the corner of Pennsylvania Avenue and 13th streets, intoning the command hear round the world, "Learn to read the signs, [bodily orifice]!" Stating further in an interview that "I really hate jaywalkers...I despise them...the only other option is to run them over...", Democratic operatives unfairly concluded that Novak's compassionate calling to urban reform in fact represented a mission to splay.

That's where Bono came in. Carrying the dual monikers of a sixties counterculture radical and a 21st century shades-wearing, debt-relieving, globe-trotting liberal firebrand, the bicyclist "witness" came to notice when, cruising lightly, almost as if windsurfing, he wheeled up on his no-doubt-French-made cycle to the window of Novak's Corvette (built entirely in the U.S.A.) and "hit the window with (his) fist." Bono claimed that he stated to Novak that "you can't just hit a pedestrian and drive away." He then placed his bicycle in front of Novak's car, apparently assuming that he had the force and authority to block Novak's further egress.

Bono is not a representative of District of Columbia Traffic Agency. However, his wife, Shaunee Moon (Littletree) Bono is an agency operative on liberalization of jaywalking policy. Two senior Traffic Agency officials told me that Bono's wife suggested sending him to 18th and K to intercept Novak's Corvette. The Agency states that its counterjaywalking officials chose Bono and asked Moon (Littletree) Bono to contact him. "I will not discuss any matters regarding my wife", said Bono, when I interviewed him, "Particularly when I am splayed across the hood of your car."

During the run-up to 18th and K intercept (near the offices where he served), Bono had made oral reports to friends that "accidents are not that likely", and that "you are more likely to be injured slipping in the shower than crossing the street; after all, in the street, there are traffic signals." Notably, Bono's oral statements did not include mention of the possibility of pedestrians voluntarily launching themselves onto moving automobiles. The report of the Agency's interview with Bono remains classified.

After Novak stated that "He's not dead, that's the main thing," Bono declined any further interviews. "The story was never me," said Bono, "it was always the guy who drove directly into a 66-year old man crossing at a walk signal, who flew across his windshield, and then driving away, until repeatedly stopped by witnesses." The story, actually, is whether a covert jaywalking inducement policy, launched by an Agency operative, and executed by the spouse of that operative, should remain covert. I, for one, say no--in the Agency's, the streets' and the public interest.

Cite:

Head of State

http://headofstate.blogspot.com/2008/07/mission-to-18th-and-k.html

That witness reports relied on the statements of a bicycle riding, knapsack wearing, possibly liberal and environmentalist lawyer

You know how you can tell? Tattooed on the back of the neck.

McGillicuddy, what do you drive? (besides your mouth)

I'm kinda confused. How can you possibly "liberalize" jaywalking policies? Has anyone in the history of the world EVER been arrested for jaywalking? I know they're SUPPOSED to issue fines for jaywalking, but they're SUPPOSED to ticket cars doubleparked on Sunday and what's the likelihood of THAT happening? Or maybe I'm just naive and there are actually legions of jailed DC jaywalkers being held incommunicado overseas under "secret evidence" (e.g., testimony from that obnoxious bat of a lady on Swann Street who chews people out for parking in front of her house or locking your bike on HER treebox). You thought waterboarding was bad. These enemy combatant jaywalkers are actually forced to look both ways on a treadmill FOR HOURS while being forced to listen to Aerosmith's "Walk This Way." And yet the Geneva Convention doesn't even recognize a jaywalker's rights to ignore the rules of the road or 2-ton automobiles.

Clearly, Goph, you are part of the jaywalking conspiracy. Next thing you'll tell me is that Marion Barry doesn't eat creamed baby's brains for breakfast.

Batshit craziness never prospers. For if it prosper, none dare call it batshit crazy.

well he is just mad at everything since discovering the sterotypes of nice cars = small [bodily orifice]