July 25, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: Complete Nonsense
Sometimes overhearing things is funny because what we overhear fits some stereotype, or something we always believed — the ignorant tourist, annoying intern, etc. Sometimes they're funny because they reveal some secret, sinister thing the person didn't want to reveal. And sometimes they're good because they're just completely bizarro. Dance contest!
Overheard of the Week
At Rice (14th & Q NW):
Group of 3 girls at dinner talking.
Girl #1: "You should do the ovary dance."
Girl #2: "What's the ovary dance?"
Girls #1 and 3 (incredulously): "You don't know the ovary dance????"
After the jump, sanitary habits, stupid bar questions, and a contest.
Keep sending the good stuff to overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com.
Photo by techne
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Draw your own conclusions
Two 20s girls and guys walking down 18th Street on Saturday afternoon:
Girl: "It was disgusting!"
Guy: "She didn't wipe??"
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Zing
On the staircase of The Reef in Adams Morgan:
Guy to bouncer: "Is the roof up there?" (points up)
Bouncer: "Well, we tried to put it in the basement."
Guy: "Oh... ok."
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Sickly hilarious!
Overheard on a GUTS (Georgetown University shuttle) bus:
Preppy Georgetown student in an extremely agitated voice and (from context) referring to himself: "It's sick that a father would hire a private detective to track his own son!"
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And they've been together to this day.
Two hip types in H&M:
Woman: "Well, and some women have big asses."
Man: "Actually, I like big asses. I don't see anything wrong with that."
Woman: "Really? "
Man: "Yeah."
Woman: "Yeah? You do? I have a big ass."
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Hopefully not geography majors
Two high school boys on a Metrobus in Northern Virginia are talking about their futures:
Boy 1: "Boston is like that. They got all these colleges. Boston College, Boston University, Northeastern, Harvard .."
Boy 2: "Yale."
Boy 1: "Yale isn't in Boston!! It's in Jersey!!"
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That's what he thought.
An overweight middle aged tourist couple going into the Thurgood Marshall Federal Judiciary Bldg:
He: "Wait up. Why are we going in here?"
She: "I want to see the bust."
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Contest time: What would the Homer Simpson of attorneys do?
On the green line on the way to last Sunday's Nats game:
Guy in his late 20s: "I'm the Homer Simpson of attorneys."
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wouldn't you 'hire' a private detective?
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homonym police! it's hire not higher
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Thanks, they wrote that, not me. I was too busy laughing at it.
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Finally said something asinine enought to warrant my "overheard" debut.
-girl with a big ass
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Can't wait till we get a courtroom Overheard:
"objection!"
"overruled"
"doh!"
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Ovarypunchers just doesnt have the frisson of Junkpunchers. Also, I cant condone violence against women. Unless it involves another women in a bikini and an inflatable tub full of banana pudding.
Nilla wafers are optional.
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Can you really fault someone for confusing Princeton and Yale? Is there really a big difference?
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You mean, no difference in the sense that you got turned down by both schools, I'm guessing?
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Hey, once you've seen one pretentious, overrated prissy school, you've seen them all.
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Aaron, darling, you made me spill my afternoon cocktail. No difference between Princeton and Yale? Good god, what would mother say about that?
Jerry? Where's my freaking cocktail? I swear, help these days.
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Ishmael sounds about right. As for Tim, I don't have anything against them--I wouldn't have even gotten into my state school in flyover country (Illinois).
I don't see there being a big difference between Harvard, Yale or Princeton. Sure, students and alumni may argue over which is better or more prestigious or something like that, but they're all top of the line Ivies, or 'pretentious, overrated prissy schools', or both.
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Princeton is pretentious, overrated and prissy. Yale is awesome in every way.
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From Urban Dictionary:
ovary dance
The feeling a girl gets on the dance floor when she sees a guy she wants to seed with!
"The bitch saw him and enticed him by givin him the ovary dance"...or..."she ovary-danced her way to his cock!"
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amen....seriously, to everything....amen
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As one who gradual-ated from both a fly-over-state state school and one of those pretentious, overrated and prissy schools, I can confirm that they're all pretty much pretentious, overrated and prissy!
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If you are going to snark about the Ivies have at it. But you are unlikely to top the Simpsons writers, many of whom are Harvard alumni.
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Hoover: [hands Lisa a paper] Lisa Simpson, zero!
Lisa: [gasps]
Skinner: Lisa, the president of Harvard would like to see you.
Pres.: Nasty business, that zero. Naturally, Harvard's doors
are now closed to you, but I'll pass your file along to
[snickers] Brown.
Skinner: Mmmm, Brown. Heckuva school. Weren't you at Brown, Otto? [camera pans to Otto, sunning himself on the hood of the
school bus]
Otto: Yup. Almost got tenure, too.
Lisa: [gasps in horror] No, not Brown, Brown, Brown ...
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The camera pans to Otto?
Otto is real!
I knew he wasnt just a drawing!
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Andrew: "Thanks, they wrote that, not me. I was too busy laughing at it."
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So... what you're saying is that the person on the GUTS bus (probably another Georgetown student) who overheard this gem mixed up "higher" and "hire"? Wow. Seems like they're letting everybody in...
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From Urban Dictionary:
junkpunch dance
n. The feeling a guy gets on the dance floor when he sees a hot but totally insane girl who will clearly be a complete pain, yet his penis wants her anyway. (See "I'm with stupid" and "thinking with your crotch.")
"Eva and Adolf were both on the rebound and smashed at the office party when he did the junkpunch dance at her."
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it was pointed out to me earlier today that we have to be careful not to overuse junkpunch...
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it was pointed out to me earlier today that we have to be careful not to overuse junkpunch...
Y'know that person who pointed that out to you?
[JUNKPUNCH]
So much junk, so little punching time...