Morning Roundup: Goodbye, Abe Edition
D.C. Police Seek Suspect in Series of Bank Robberies
Suspect in 9-Year-Old's Murder Found Dead in D.C. Jail
Photo of the Day: November 25, 2009
Ballou HS Rocks the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade
People love the newest gadgets. It was the Walkman back in the day, then the iPod, the Wii, and lately, the various iterations of the iPhone, with locals swamping Apple stores from Clarendon to ... wherever other Apple stores are. You see them all over the Metro, at bars, and hopefully not while driving. The newest generation of smartphones have all the bells and whistles, a Swiss army knife of communications. There's just one problem.
Overheard of the Week
Walking into an office building elevator:
Man talking on smartphone: "Yeah, it's great... I got GPS, I can watch live TV..., internet, email... Hello? You there? Hello? Guess not."
After the jump, charity baseball conspiracies, Rocky Mountain oysters, topless kickball, and ice cream.
Keep sending in your funny and weird stuff: overheardindc (at) gmail (dot) com
Photo by DG-rad
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Gee, I am busy for whatever time period the event occurs.
On the Red line
Guy 1: "What are you doing this weekend?"
Guy 2: "(name) is having a Rocky Mountain oyster festival in Virginia. I'll send you the email."
Guy 1: "I can't go but have fun."
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One of the benefits of living in D.C., dontcha know?
On the Blue line to Smithsonian:
Woman with a Minnesota accent: "Since I've moved here my nipples aren't frozen."
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Freedom fries
On the D6 bus on Bastille Day (7/14):
The bus was packed to the brim with French people, many loud and intoxicated, heading to the French Embassy. There was a massive traffic backup on Reservoir Road on the way to the embassy. When the bus arrived, the French people got out.
An old man on the bus opens the window and yells: "I can't believe we saved your fucking country. You're all faggots." Then he closes the window and goes back to reading the paper.
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Probably works better than "step back"
On a Shady Grove-bound train at the Union Station:
The operator honks horn multiple times as the train enters the station.
Operator over the intercom: "And to the gentleman who was hanging his girlfriend over the edge of the platform, have some sympathy for your own girlfriend. Thank you."
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Where's the Mitchell Report when you need it?
Two young Hill types at the Congressional Baseball Game for Charity on Thursday night:
A Republican just stole a base:
Guy: "They stole third base like they stole the goddamned election! What the hell Ump, that is some flawed intelligence!"
Girl: "Republicans are sneaky BASTARDS!"
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So what you're saying is "no"
Friday on M Street in Georgetown:
A 20-something woman holding a clipboard working for some environmental group is trying to get someone to stop and talk to her.
Woman with clipboard: "Do you care about the environment?"
Man with foreign accent, as he walks by her without stopping: "I was just at the G8 summit."
Woman with clipboard: "Oh, awesome. Thank you."
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Aw mom, I already posted my resume online for video game tester and ninja.
Outside the water ice place on H Street NE:
Ten year old kid to his mom: "Mom, can I get some ice cream?"
Mom to kid: "Can you get a job???"
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Why do so many overheards about kickball involve toplessness?
Some kickballers on the Mall:
A guy is looking at a female teammate while talking to another teammate.
Guy: "What's her name? I don't think I know her."
Girl: "Oh, that's (name). You know her."
Guy: "I don't think so."
Girl: "Yeah, you do. She just usually doesn't wear her shirt, just her bra."
Guy: "Ohhhh... I guess I didn't recognize her with a shirt on."
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These are better with junkpunching. E.g.,
Guy: "What's her name? I don't think I know her."
Girl: "Oh, that's (name). You know her."
Guy: "I don't think so."
Girl: [junkpunches Guy]
Guy: "Ohhhh... I guess I didn't recognize her with a shirt on."
It's the Philadelphia Water Ice Factory, and their cheesesteaks kick ass.
Also, I've got a job for you. Hey kid, c'mere! Pull my finger.
@CJ, it's true..
Ten year old kid to his mom: "Mom, can I get some ice cream?"
Mom to kid: [JUNKPUNCH]
Guy: Did you know that kickball is THE lamest thing of all the lame things that dorks in DC enjoy?
Girl: But it gives mediocre looking people a chance to meet and possibly make out.
Guy: Good point, want to go to Rumors and sing along to Neil Diamond songs?
Girl: No thanks, I have a policy report to finish.
I personally have done this one:
Woman with clipboard: "Do you care about the environment?"
Man with foreign accent, as he walks by her without stopping: [JUNKPUNCH]
Next week, can we have a "Junkpunched in DC" column?
A 20-something woman holding a clipboard working for some environmental group is trying to get someone to stop and talk to her.
Woman with clipboard: "Do you care about the environment?"
Man with foreign accent: [JUNKPUNCH]
Damn, Monkey - you beat me to the [JUNKPUNCH]!
Seems like at least once a day I run into someone on the elevator who gets all confused when they lose their cell phone signal after the door closes. Dude, you're in a giant metal box. Of course it doesn't work.
i would have junkpunched the old man on the bus.
[JUNKPUNCHES Bethesdist]
Show some respect! That old man personally junkpunched the germans all the way back to Berlin.
Oh, what the hell.
[JUNKPUNCHES entire G8]
Freedom fry anyone?
At Children's Hospital, cancer ward, a clown is making balloon animals:
Child: Can you make me a balloon puppy, pretty please?
Clown: [JUNKPUNCH]
Soon to be seen on a hipster t-shirt:
Don't junkpunch me, bro!
Man with foreign accent: [JUNKPUNCH]
I don't get it. Do foreign junkpunches sound different than domestic ones?
Oh, Rocky Mountain Oysters. We tricked many an unsuspecting friend into eating you back in college.
Good times.
do you have to junkpunch a bull to make a rocky mountain oyster?
miss bee, well, bull junk is likely involved, but i'm not thinking punching is involved.
ooo - that could make for a new and exciting twist on the running of the bulls. i'm envisioning a new reality tv show. with lots of blondes of course. not that blondes are extremely intelligent, flapjack, i think its that they attract more attention. something about lighter colored, shiny objects.
I don't get it. Do foreign junkpunches sound different than domestic ones?
Yes, they do: [QUELLE JUNQUEPUNCHE]!
har har har ;)
oh and Vaughan? [JUNKPUNCH]
ow! alright, alright, i especially deserved that JUNKPUNCH since i meant to say "not that blondes aren't extremely intelligent."
hmmm...i wonder if this has something to do with my recent de-blonding...i'm losing brain cells by the day!
Be sure to add my new blog, junkpunchist.com, to your readers.
They do in Spnish...[HUEVIPUÑETE]
(or [CHATARRAPUÑO] if you're the guy who studied one year of Spanish and is now translating "employees must wash hands" signs for pupuserias)
the funny thing is, when did "junkpunch" become the term du jour? didn't cho say "punch you in the dick"? have we changed it so it can be used for both male and female? just curious...
IMGoph, I think Monkey changed it to junkpunching, and whatever Monkey does is gold. Duh.
Also, "junkpunching" is WAY more fun to say than "punching in the dick" -- and more equal opportunity.
oh, agreed, mel21clc. i'm all for equal opportunity!