August 22, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: Cowabunga!
People say a lot of weird stuff about health, their bodies, and so on. And it's nice for grandmas to be concerned about their kiddos, but there's been a lot in the news about over-medicating kids for ADD or what have you. Just because a kid behaves badly and likes certain foods that most kids like, it doesn't mean he has a disease. If the latter is true, get me to a doctor.
Overheard of the Week:
At eastern Market, in line for Crepes at the Market:
Two older women are discussing their grandchildren.
Woman 1: "Well, my grandson has no table manners. All he ever wants to eat is pizza."
Woman 2: "Oh, is he autistic?"
Woman 1: (Without batting an eye) "Oh no, he's not."
Keep those overheards coming! overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
After the jump, weird questions, books, and more medical terminology.
Photo by captain easychord
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Yes, it's right next to What The Hell Are You Doing Here?
Outside the 13th Street exit of the U Street Metro station Saturday afternoon:
Two 20-something women outside: "Excuse me, could you tell us where the Chili's is?"
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There are 13 year-old gymnasts? Fake fireworks?
Right before the American Idol concert at the Verizon Center:
Two 30ish men walk out of the Metro and into Chinatown.
Man 1 excitedly to man 2: "It's just like we're at the Olympics!"
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On paper? What, it's round?
At M Street and Connecticut on Tuesday Night:
Guy: "I like the idea of Dupont, but then you go there and it's ehhhh. Like it looks good on paper but then when it's actually implemented...."
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Reading is FUNdamental
On the Metro:
A woman is reading a book called "Thong On Fire: An Urban Erotic Tale."
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OK, now back to jaywalking duty!
At the 14th and Irving Starbucks:
Barista (to a cop ordering a drink): "I don't know how you can do a venti coffee. I'd need a new stomach lining after that."
Cop: "Yeah, I don't know. I usually have a bagel with it."
Barista: "Then again I don't got people shooting at me all day!"
Twenty-something girl in line: "Um, this Starbucks is at 14th and Irving, I don't think you can count on that."
Cop: "She has a good point."
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The Craigslist ad said "very incisive roommate"
Outside the Krispy Kreme in Dupont Circle, 2 women are talking:
Woman 1: "I haven't always been homeless... I had a roommate, but she stabbed me."
Woman 2 responds with a blank look.
Woman 1: (gesturing enthusiastically at her own back) "Stabbed me!"
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Must have gone to the Dem Bones School of Medicine.
Outside at the Looking Glass Lounge:
A group of people is sitting at a table.
Guy, trying to sound nonchalant: "I do neurophysiology, and I drill a lot of skull bones."
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re the women looking for 'chili's' at 13th & U metro stop, it's possible they were looking for Ben's Chili Bowl, which is across the street, but as tourists, did not remember the name.
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The side of me that still feels optimistic about humanity agrees with you, Sun.
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The side of me that has given up on humanity thinks they wanted the chain.
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Expect a LOT more stupid tourists and suburbanites in the U Street area. Arena Stage is doing some shows at the Lincoln Theater. My wife works for Arena and has been getting all kinds of passive-aggressive racism from the patrons...
"Isn't that neighborhood a bit 'iffy'?"
"Are we going to be safe at night?"
If those theatre-goers from Potomac, MD are really that antsy, the metro is directly across the street, so they won't have to talk to any of the black people.
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thong on fire... well... that's not really overheard then is it? it's overseen, eh?
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they asked where the chili's was simultaneously?
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They asked where the chili's was simultaneously?
Were they also dressed in matching sailor suits and chewing Doublemint gum?
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Don't knock Thong on Fire 'til you try it.
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My thong's on fire right now.
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The two women talking about the kid who eats nothing but pizza know what they're talking about. From Wikipedia:
Atypical eating behavior occurs in about three-quarters of children with [autism spectrum disorders], to the extent that it was formerly a diagnostic indicator. Selectivity is the most common problem, although eating rituals and food refusal also occur
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Maybe the two women were trying to seem hip and not touristey, thinking maybe the locals called the place "Chili's" instead of "Ben's?"
Or maybe they took one look at the place, got scared, and thought that there might be a different, safer, less-ass-peeing Chili's that they could go to?
Or maybe they meant to go to the Chili's in Crystal City, but took the wrong Metro?
Or maybe we all just enjoy bashing tourists except when we're tourists?
Or maybe Metro just needs to hire some mimes to give tourists directions using non-threatening vulva puppets? And if this sort of blatant ignorance keeps up, ratchet up to the threatening vulva puppets?
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Re Thong on Fire: That is one book I like to "overhear" on tape.
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yea because we all know wanting to eat the same food over and over means you have a problem, especially if wikipedia says it
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at least he isn't demanding cake and ice cream for breakfast.
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my thong is on fire but only 'cause i ate myself one o' dem 5 lb burr heetos from chipotle
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Wow! I've had autism this whole time and didn't even know it! I just figured the whole shoving-buffet-items-down-my-pants-while-screaming-obscenities was related to my kleptomania/tourettes syndrome. As far as "eating rituals" are concerned, sure beats watching bulemic blonds order salad and iced tea, only to barf it up 20 minutes later.
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TO Demonfafa:
We're the barristas and cop in the Columbia Heights Starbucks racist, too?
U St. can be iffy at night. It's not borderline racist to admit that.
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@ cooter:
U Street is just as "scary" as anywhere in DC. Trust me, I've worked for Arena Stage and other theatre co.'s and all the subscribers can think is, "OMG! Black People!"
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Whoa. Hold the phone, Mabel. There are Black people on U Street? WTF? Since when? Do they mind if I take pictures of them to send back to my folks in Barstow? Or is it like an Amish thing where cellphone cameras steal their souls?
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The entire text of "Thong on Fire" can be read on Google Books
The thing also has great reviews on Amazon.
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"Isn't that neighborhood a bit 'iffy'?"
"Are we going to be safe at night?"
Being concerned about your safety on U Street at night isn't 'passive-aggressive racism'. It's a reasonable concern.
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U Street at night is about as "iffy" as M Street in Georgetown or P Street in Dupont. It stopped being "iffy" a while ago. Hell, with all the boutique watering holes, it isn't even particularly edgy anymore. I suppose you still could get shanked if you tried really hard, but you're more likely to step into some human excement than you are a malay tiger trap, so I tend not to worry too much about either. Just watch your step, regardless.
Now, 14th Street north of Florida? That's some iffy s**t, yo. Especially on the Clifton Terrace side.
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Well, Monkey, seeing as how you believed that U St. was iffy at one point, you are (were?) obviously afraid of black people and are (were?) a passive-aggressive racist.
Your last comment obviously displays your current aggressive-aggressive racist side.
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Your last comment obviously displays your current aggressive-aggressive racist side.
Got that s**t right, yo. I've never denied being a racist. I f***ing HATE the human race, particularly the way they keep walking around upright long after they've stopped exhibiting anything resembling minimal brain activity. The heart still functions, respiration is at a constant level, yet they're incapable of making basic decisions like when to cross the street, how to execute a right turn, or distinguishing between good and evil.