How's it hangin', everybody? Now that Obama's finally selected his running mate, we can all get back to talking about important things, like shaved pandas and where we're going to get the capital needed to open up new locations of Junkpunchers. Wait, what? You say that there's now some sort of convention that's going on in Denver? And that there's another one right after that in Minneapolis/St. Paul? Oh.

Well, regardless, we'll stay vigilant and keep monitoring your valued, insightful contributions to DCist. I can only hope that we keep the spirit of Godwin's Law alive and well. And in honor of these next two weeks of political insanity, our Comment of the Week comes from one of our finest political commentarians, Reid - noting that by 2100, people will probably scoff at the supposed importance of November's vote:

According to all politicos, the coming election is always the most important election ever. Meaning that it's more important that the last election, which was also the most important election ever. At least up to that point.

Of course what this means it that this election will be the 3rd least important election of the 21st century.

Yup, it's true. That McKinley-Jennings Bryant election in 1900? Practically pointless. But it was likely the most important election ever in 1899!

After the jump: "that southeast" and it's boundaries; and Dick Heller's Magical Fun-Time Bicycle!

Photo by Terecico.

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Southeast versus "That Southeast" - often times, identifying where the news is happening can be a messy affair.

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Dick Heller is at it again, filing another lawsuit that claims that the District's new registration process for handguns in "onerous," but most people seemed to want to focus on his...bike.

Boomhauer noted that the commentariat was likely to be conflicted:

Wants to exercise his second amendment rights....but rides a bike. I guess now DCist readers will be utterly confused as to whether or not they should hate or love Dick Heller.

tom veil, though, figured that maybe Heller's desire for a gun and his bike-riding go hand in hand:

If I had to ride a bike to get to work, I'd want to pack heat, too. You need to protect yourself from Corvette-driving pundits!

Meanwhile, SpeakSoftlyCarryABigStick didn't know what to think about Heller based on the picture:

I now don't know if I should be worried about this man having a gun. On the one hand, a guy dressed like that, on a 50s era bike, is a text book case of "suspicious activity" and screams "protect my children from crazy neighbor with a gun." On the other hand, how can I be scared of a man who looks like this?!?! Get this man a gun, just so I can take him seriously!

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Most of you had an opinion about whether or not the drinking age should be lowered to 18.

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You know, normally, we wouldn't really care, but Blonde Charity Mafia was just way too terrible to pass up.

KrazyKat's analysis probably hits the mark on the spot:

I guess when they mean charity, they mean, helping those poor frat boys get another beer and later on helping those poor frat boys out of their sweaty clothes. They are so helpful, I want to cry.

Oh TimmyTucker, one of said groups at least has some character:

I wonder if they're associated with the "Diabetic Panhandling Conglomerate" that hangs out at the Archives Metro stop at night. If so, I'd be willing to donate my leftover pretzel from Elephant and Castle to them just the same. I don't discriminate.

Dauragon, on the other hand, pined for a much simpler time:

Also, This makes me wish of the old days when seeing D.C on television meant seeing that one canned shot of the front of the white house, followed by some actor walking down a street that is CLEARLY in baltimore.

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Wow, the best thing that we had at my school was Book It! (Yum, free pizza.) Now they're giving cash money to children for good grades? Ah, to be young again.

Vaughan similarly wishes for a more nostaglic approach towards bribing kids for grades:

can't they come up with something a little less fungible? like tickets to the roller rink; a free pass to stay up to 9:30; free dippin' dots - ice cream of the future; a free hairstyling lesson from paula abdul; a hypercolor shirt...what? my bad. sorry - got lost in 1988-1991 for a moment.

well, at least one thing remains constant: dippin' dots will always remain the ice cream of the future.

Whereas sleepcamel has a pretty good idea about an addition to the program:

wonderwazz asks why this couldn't go into a college fund, and I echo that question but in a broader sense... Why not make this an opt-in program where students who want to get paid for their grades have to attend career counseling as well, or learn about personal finance? It seems like a wasted opportunity to put money in the kids' hands without using that transactional moment to sneak in a little added value.

I also wonder whether, in very specific cases, this might encourage a kid who is considering dropping out to stay in school. If they are having troubles balancing long-term and short-term tradeoffs, offering a short-term benefit may cause them to make the right decision for their long-term future...

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Local 16 is so just for hipsters, people - W Magazine says so.

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Sure, jaywalking can be dangerous, but as jamie points out, attempting to enforce such laws at certain intersections is just poppycock:

I don't really have a problem with jay-walking enforcement in general. I mean, if you walk against the light with a cop standing there, you deserve it.

They need to fix the lights there. Its a clusterf@&k and the pedestrians pay the price because it's confusing and stupid. Ticketing in such places is just nasty and unnecessary.

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This week, in The Magical World of Monkeyrotica: Monkey makes his pitch to become the art director for upper Northwest phone books (surely, it's a well-paying position):

Jet ski maybe. Waterski, not so much. Anyway, this isn't about "reality" per se, but what the clowns in charge of this whole godawful fiasco want to convey as their neighborhood identity. Fun (waterskiing), old timey values (tireswing rope by the old watering hole where we found that dead body that one magical summer), and smiling, non-threatening Black people.

So what are the alternatives? A guy running away from a fireball? Alex and his droogs going on a joyride in a stolen Durango 95? Goatse? Because that big oval frame is begging, begging for a goatse.

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demonfafa tips us off on a potential goldmine of Overheard submissions:

Expect a LOT more stupid tourists and suburbanites in the U Street area. Arena Stage is doing some shows at the Lincoln Theater. My wife works for Arena and has been getting all kinds of passive-aggressive racism from the patrons...

If those theatre-goers from Potomac, MD are really that antsy, the metro is directly across the street, so they won't have to talk to any of the black people.

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Compromises be damned - let the debate over highway speed limits continue unabated!

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GhettoBurbs, with a terrifying vision of Amtrak vengence - fund it or else this will happen!

"It's still unclear how he was hit by the train."

It's not like these newfangled Acela trains jump off the tracks and snag unsuspecting maintenance workers as they zoom by at 100+ MPH.

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You know, we're all in favor of reducing violence, but I believe WizzyLiz sums up our thoughts on the video produced by teens in the summer youth jobs program:

Is there a version with closed captioning?

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And, now, to some awards:

downtowndc is the lucky recipient of the Avatar Award for Achievement in the Field of Avatars (Dick Heller Division) for an avatar that certainly wasn't meant to represent the man with the funny bicycle - but it certainly works. Now, to be fair, we haven't ever seen Heller wearing a cowboy hat or brandishing a sherriff's badge, but hey, with the garish way he tucks his slacks into his socks, it might not be far behind.

This week's Username of the Week goes to AntiCritic, who, it could be argued, is a critic of critics. (Head blows up...now.)