» Do not expect any sweet bass clarinet busking at the Foggy Bottom Metro Station, where all escalators are currently out of service. However, shuttle bus service and the station's elevators are operational — and so is bass-clarinet choir Edmund Welles's cover of Radiohead's Creep. For more info on getting home, see here; on not getting home, see here. [WMATA]

» Stealing a new SmartBike off a SmartBike rack seems unlikely to work. But ransoming a SmartBike stolen from its renter, who is then liable for a $550 fee assessed against "users who damage, lose or get their bikes stolen on their watch," would be, um, extra immoral. [WTOP]

»: Better headline: "Fears of Virginia, Known To Be Concerned With the Criminalization of Drinking While Driving, Dies" [NBC4]

» North Virginia: still rich. [WTOP]

» Facebook: the Movie? I think I prefer the original BBC series. [Slashfilm]

» Will Redskins RB Marcus Mason's grilled squirrel power him over Jaguars defensive end Mkristo Bruce's grilled bologna when the teams match up on Thursday? And are those summer foods more or less probable than the notion of Mason as a star? [DC Sports Pulse]

» His wife and daughter died, he teared up in front of the Delaware delegation, he overuses adverbs like "genuinely" and "sincerely" — Yglesias is right, Joe Biden is kind of emo. [Matthew Yglesias]

» War or Car tells us that for the price of the war in Iraq, every resident of California, New York, Texas, and Florida could be given his or her weight in silver — a state-swinging policy sure to please followers of William Jennings Bryan and contemporary Democrats alike. And yet, what is it that activists at the DNC want? Crystal Pepsi. [War or Car; Gawker via Examiner]