There's a lot of fun things to do around D.C. when the weather is warm. You can go swimming, walk around the mall, hit a farmer's market, go to Great Falls. There's beer, and cookouts, and sports. And other things we haven't even though of.

Overheard of the Week:

In the 7-Eleven on Fenton Lane in Silver Spring:

A bearded homeless man walks into the 7-Eleven, holds up a piece of posterboard featuring columns upon columns of handwritten celebrity names and random words, and announces to the whole store with a smile, "See?!? I got more to do all day than sit around and jerk off!"

After the jump, jury duty, dates going swimmingly, and non-jokes.

If you hear good stuff, send it in! The funny-osity relies on you. overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com

Photo by cstein96

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Much more interesting than Judge Actually In Front of You

In a courtroom last week at the D.C. Superior Court during jury selection.

Two female jurors behind me had been talking all afternoon. At this point it's getting pretty late in the day.

One lady to the other: "I can't believe we've had to be here all day. I could be at work right now watching Judge Joe Brown."

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This is going well.

At Chadwick's in Friendship Heights:
A 20-something girl and guy are on a date:

Girl: "Uh (name), I have read a book."

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Was it J.R.?

In the Target parking garage in Columbia Heights:

A woman on the phone while paying her parking ticket: "Hey, guess who got shot?"

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What, are you from Amsterdam?

Two girls coming out of B&K news stand (aka head shop/porno store) on 18th St NW:

Girl 1: "That sucks that it's illegal here."

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There's a lot of weird things going on here.

In the women's bathroom of Rocketbar, a few Saturday nights ago.

Two girls are talking to each other while in separate stalls.

Girl 1: "Oh! I just remembered I am wearing my seven dwarves underwear."
Girl 2: "What????"
Girl 1: "You know, like snow white and the seven dwarves. My dad bought them for me at Disney World."
Girl 2: "Seriously?"
Girl 1: "Yeah. You know your underwear isn't sexy when your dad bought it for you."

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Assassination: Jokes-A-Plenty!

On the Red Line to Shady Grove, one college-aged girl talking to her two friends:

"My brother is so funny, he was like, Obama's probably going to be assassinated, so we, like, really need a good vice president, you know?"

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And the Professor Genius award goes to:

Coming into Union Station on the Amtrak at 10 a.m., right after it goes underground:

Man in his 50s stands up and looks around. "Is we, like, in a tunnel or somethin'?"