September 8, 2008
Click Click: Quaff an Ale at Maryland's RennFest
Otherwise known as the Mother of All Meat on a Stick Events, Maryland's annual Renaissance Festival opened in Crownsville, Md. on August 23 and runs every weekend until October 19, with all the men in tights and corseted bosoms you could ask for. Our photographer Martin Locraft hit up the festival last weekend, though if you're into watching burly dudes toss two-story high logs, get over there this Saturday and Sunday for their Scottish Celebration weekend. See the festival web site for more information.
| 
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
email this
add to facebook
add to del.icio.us
Advertisement: DCist Continues Below!
Post a comment (Comment Policy)
[ report this ]
I bet she can fit the whole thing in her mouth.
[ report this ]
They sit around in circles and read Harry Potter? FREDTERP
[ report this ]
I challenge thee to an honor Du-al!
[ report this ]
I would bust on the Renn Fest, yea verily, but I am a fan of the Mediaeval Baebes, and they are performing there in October. But I'm not taking back my Design Toscano hate, no way no how.
[ report this ]
S'blood! The squire in the green hose and the codpiece chain looks like he's ready for Ye Olde Junkpuncher Bawdy House and Scofula Clinic.
[ report this ]
"There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?"
[ report this ]
i believe they ate turtles regularly back then. terrapins may want to watch out.
[ report this ]
"get over there this Saturday and Sunday for their Scottish Celebration weekend"
NOT COOL. The VA Scottish Games should sue!
[ report this ]
Someone should get that girl some scotch tape.
[ report this ]
I think im in love. :*
[ report this ]
Hmmm...Though a tempting target, making fun of Renn Fest is pretty yesteryear.
Making fun of Braveheart, on the other hand, is entirely deserved. Yeah, yeah. They can't take away your dignity...I'm sorry, I was thinking of Whitney Houston, what I meant was that they can't talk away your freedom. Unless it's in your head. Or arms. Or legs. All of which they have taken away.
[ report this ]
yeah - that event cross over is not cool at all
[ report this ]
I guess I see the appeal of a Renaissance Fair, but there are time periods that I think we'd have much more fun with.
Gilded Age Fair? Awesome. Think of all the steam punk.
Era of Good Feelings Fair? Sweet (note: could just be a rave)
1991 Fair? Excellent. All bajas, hypercolor, and Reebok Pump; all the time.
[ report this ]
Worst Scotchtoberfest EVAR!
No amount of Dexterity will save you from having to wear hats like those. There will be no saving throw. The Dungeon Master has spoken.
[ report this ]
In a just world, Jerry Garcia would still be alive and Ren Fest would be dead.
[ report this ]
there is a sad dearth of the aforementioned bosom in these photos!
[ report this ]
Reid - don't forget Skidz.
(Somebody needs to get them junks on wikipedia, stat.)
[ report this ]
In a just world, (a world where Don Lafontaine announces my thoughts to me just as I have them, just as I have them, just as I have them,....), we'd have World's End Fair, in which a series of scientific improbable catashtrophies, liberal hoaxes (like climate change!) and germs from space would juggle, joust and morris dance for us.
Maybe I'm confusing it with Michael Crichton Fair. Or a Men Without Hats concert?
[ report this ]
Anyone able to read what it says on her arm?
[ report this ]
i was wondering the same thing, clevelandrocks
[ report this ]
My medieval Danish may be a little stale (HA!) but I'm pretty sure it says something to the effect, "Instant party. Just add alcohol and meat."
Either that, or it's the runes from the Led Zeppelin IV album.
[ report this ]
With a mouth like that she looks like she could suck a golf ball through fifty feet of garden hose.
And just where are the pics of ye olde comely wenches? I nearly tossed my cookies at the picture of the fatass in the velvet tights with the chain up his crack.
I like all the Games Workshop refugees who take themselves out of the basement of the science building for the weekend and attend this thing. Someone told me the different animal tails that the women wear tagged to their butts are a sign of whatever they're into sexually. Anyone out there have the decoder key??
[ report this ]
The only "comely wench" I've ever spotted at RenFest was the regular in the hammered, form-fitting breastplate that was making chain mail from a 200-foot coil of links. All the other Society for Creative Anachronism types were your usual dumpy butterfaces you'd find at Dress Barn.
And, yeah, turkey leg girl can hoist my petard any day.
[ report this ]
I'm pretty sure that's the stitching of her shirt, not what you may think (or hope), and the tat on her arm is an ambigram of her last name.
As far as the other comments, I can't quite figure out how I feel. As her fiance, I should be pretty pumped that monkeyrotica wants her to hoist his petard, but at the same time, I'm just a little bit skeeved out.
[ report this ]
Hey, I've got a clean petard! The Liberty Bell-size Trojans I use have "senso ribs" and "pleasure dots" and are dripping with hot tallow. You never know what might be lurking in a wench's "moat." No rawpetarding for this monkey.
[ report this ]
Those turkey legs taste like shit.
Wouldn't it be more authentic if they served maggoty bread with haunches of brucellosis-infested beef? Or sausage made from loosely chopped hog anus and badger scrotum? Wash that down with a warm tankard of beer made from weevil-infested barley....now that's good eatin'!
[ report this ]
And plague. Don't forget plague. Nothing like swollen buboes on your groin and armpits to put everything in perspective. That, or waking up in a culvert.