September 16, 2008
Columbia Heights Bear Threat Cleared
Metro says the Columbia Heights Metro station reopened at 11:45 a.m., "following a report of a suspicious package located outside the station." No mention of the bear at all. The station was closed for approximately an hour and 40 minutes. NBC4 says a neighborhood resident saw the bear between 7 a.m. and 8 a.m. this morning, even though the police weren't called until 10. We've also heard that the bomb squad cut the bear open, so if it was an art installation, the art has been destroyed. Since trains traveling through the Metro station were still able to pass through during the closure, any residual delays should be very minor.
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Good lord. People in this city are so damned paranoid.
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What bear? who said anything about a bear? There was never any bear! What you saw was Venus. Venus was at its peak brilliance last night. You probably thought you saw something up in the sky other than Venus, but I assure you, it was Venus. Your scientists have yet to discover how neural networks create self-consciousness, let alone how the human brain processes two-dimensional retinal images into the three-dimensional phenomenon known as perception. Yet you somehow brazenly declare seeing is believing? Mister DCist, your scientific illiteracy makes me shudder, and I wouldn't flaunt your ignorance by telling anyone that you saw anything last night other than the planet Venus.
Because if you do, you're a dead man.
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I first read that headline as: "Columbia Heights Bear Threat Declawed."
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Who sees something like that and is scared as opposed to delighted?* I would have giggled until I peed a little.
*Other than Stephen Colbert.
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do you have any hunny, mister rabbit?
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So is Mister Art Installation going to sue for destruction of property? Because it would have been really cool if some kid had been pulling on the bomb squad guy's pants leg while tearfully crying, "Please don't kill my bear, Mister! Please!"
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There was a man in a bear suit on the beach during Hurricane Ike and he was shown on live television.
We're getting Bear signals. What does it mean?
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deep: was that a double-meaning you were going for there? (bears and the current market conditions?)
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Can someone start a suspicious package/bag/bear blog?
We really need to keep track of how much all this over-response costs.
How about some risk vs reward algorithms? Or just some common sense policies. A bomb doesn't go off for over 6 months, then you can stop hyperventalating over every little thing until the next one actually does go off.
I'd much rather see this money spent on catching actual criminals instead of chasing tails.
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Yeah Boo-Boo!