September 26, 2008
Overheard in D.C.: (Mostly) College Edition
College kids say the darnedest things! Well, maybe they don't, but there's a plethora of things from young people this week, including lots of awkwardness and unfortunate attempts at pick up lines/jokes. But hey, we've all been there. Hopefully not as awkwardly or unfortunately.
Overheard of the Week
Early 20s guy and girl are in line at the Starbucks on Connecticut Avenue across from the Zoo:
Guy: "I'm just gonna leave you in line so you can feel guilty about it."
Girl: "I know how you don't like to be in confined spaces."
Guy: "I like to be confined in you."
Girl: "Disgusting!"
After the jump, cool bus drivers, strange choices of words, and lame jokes.
Don't forget to send the funny/weird/bad/horrifying stuff you hear to overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com!
Photo by pianoman75
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I'm not sure if "bizarro" is the right word.
On the George Mason campus:
A female student is on a cell phone.
"It's kind of bizarro waking up to genocide. You know?"
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Burn
On the 14th Street bus:
A shady looking guy gets on and makes some unseemly remark towards female bus driver.
The bus driver pulls bus over and yells at the man: "Get off the damn bus!"
The guy gets off the bus, then turns and shouts "Suck my dick!"
Bus driver: "You gotta grow one first!"
She then shuts door and drives off.
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Aw honey, but look at that big weird tower thing!
A tourist family is on the train while stopped at the King Street Metro station:
10 or 11-year old boy to mother: "Mom, where's the Washington Monument? I don't see it." (sighs) "This sucks."
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Sexy!
Wednesday evening outside of Chief Ike's:
A girl walks up to two guys who are outside smoking.
Girl: "Do you guys have a light?"
Guy (after a long hesitation): "Uhh, no, but you can use my cigarette. Now, I'm from Annapolis, and down there we call this turkey fucking."
Girl: "Well I just turkey fucked you."
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Awkward!
At Zara on 10th and F St NW awhile ago:
Two 20-something girls walk in and are approached by another 20-something girl who was shopping.
Shopper: "Hi!"
Girls (confused): "...Heyyyy"
Shopper: "How are you? It's weird not seeing you anymore! You still work at (names address and floor of building)?"
Girls: "Wow, yeah, we do! I'm sorry, remind us which floor were you on? When did we meet?"
Shopper: "Well, technically we didn't really meet. I worked for security in your building. I guess you could say I was just 'always watching!'" (laughs)
Girls: (long pause) "...oh, okay, good to see you're doing well! Speaking of work, we should probably get back."
Shopper: "Ok! Tell those other two you hang out with hello for me too!"
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He sure knows drilling! Ba-dum-bum!
In an elevator on the AU campus:
A couple of freshman guys talking about the upcoming election.
Guy 1: "I just wish Satan would run for President. I mean, I would definitely vote for Satan."
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This would make more sense if it were two college kids talking.
On Georgia Avenue in Silver Spring, Friday night:
A middle aged woman and man are crossing street.
Woman: "Man, my back hurts."
Man: "Why is that?"
Woman: "Well I slept on the floor last night."
Man: "Why'd you sleep on the floor?"
Woman: "Cuz I didn't feel like making my bed."
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Way to win them over.
On the GW campus:
A sophomore is talking with a recent graduate.
Soph: "So you are a senior?"
Grad: "No, actually I just graduated last year."
Soph: "Oh, so you are a grad student then?"
Grad: "No I'm just creepy..."
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Yes, but do they have Beyond?
In the Bed Bath and Beyond in Chinatown:
Two girls are walking, then one stops the other keeps walking.
Walking Girl: "Oh my god! Hey, they have towels here!!"





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The "big weird tower thing" is a Washington Monument. It's just not the Washington Monument.
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Gotta love the DC bus drivers.
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slow week, eh?
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"I just wish Satan would run for President. I mean, I would definitely vote for Satan."
In what respect, Charlie?
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Wait. When did Satan get voted out of office? Did I miss that?
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i always make my friends by stalking/googling them first. it helps.
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gotta love sassy bus drivers.
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The longer I live in College Park, the longer I realize college kids are idiots. Of course, I'm one of the idiots who graduated from UMD, but I wasn't as bad as they are. Probably not.
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I was helping an early 20 something jump start her vehicle:
Me: So how many miles do you have on the vehicle?
Her: (After a long pause) This thingee (odometer) says 7-3-1-2-7 and this thingee (Jiffy Lube sticker) says 7-5-4-6-9.
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True story: A friend of mine who used to work on campus at Maryland told me he heard a student talking on his cell phone to one of his parents. The kid said, "I'm out of sweatpants. Can you Fed Ex me some?"
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Haha. That's like when guys would run out of clean shirts so they'd go sign up for a credit card in order to get a free one -- back in the day when those offers were everywhere.
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That's like when guys would run out of clean shirts so they'd go sign up for a credit card in order to get a free one
Yeah, that was always kind of stupid. Those companies never offered the clothes you needed, like socks and underwear.
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I thought Satan was running for President...
Didn't he just change his name to Barack?
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Of course, I'm one of the idiots who graduated from UMD, but I wasn't as bad as they are.
No, Henry. We were worse.