DCist: Maryland Sex Offenders Must Post 'No Candy' Signs

Nate

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 15:50:53 -0500

Another issue with this kind of program is that now anyone who puts up a "No Candy Here" sign or otherwise hunkers down indoors and refuses to cater to the begging-children-and-candy lobby can be suspected of doing so because they are a sex offender. Hey man, sometimes I just don't want to spend $25-30 on treats for people I don't know at all. It seems most of the kids and parents that come to my door every year are people that I've literally never seen around the neighborhood who have driven in for the easier pickings.

realidealist

Fri, 17 Oct 2008 14:06:26 -0500

Hillman: don't forget about the priests.

TheCounter

Thu, 16 Oct 2008 08:17:45 -0500

dank: Completely worthless, except to communicate that this is someone worth beating up. Don't just beat him up. Kill him! Terrorist! Etcetera, etcetera.

Hillman

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 16:26:51 -0500

Nothing quite like creating dumbass programs like this so parents can continue to lull themselves into a false sense of security, conveniently forgetting that most pedophilia involves a family member or close acquaintance, not the registered sex offender six blocks away.

dank

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:29:57 -0500

As a qualified graphic designer, I have to say: holy crap that's terrible! Green on orange? Condensed all caps? "Residence"? Completely worthless, except to communicate that this is someone worth beating up.

boondoggle

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 15:04:18 -0500

Of course Willy Wonka is the real victim here. The man devotes his life to creating the perfect chocolate bar and one mistake destroys everything. That Oompa Loompa totally looked 18, everyone said so. She decides to keep the baby, child support payments from two families end up closing the factory down. Now he has to put up a pumpkin sign on his two bedroom condo out in Glenarden while he watches Benson reruns. And you know its the kids who suffer most.

ligo

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:54:36 -0500

I really feel bad for these people. I know they have probably done despicable things and will most likely carry issues with it throughout their whole lives, but this goes way beyond what is needed and truly uncalled for. It’s enough to know that they are registered and anyone has the opportunity to know, but how in any way does this give them an opportunity to change the direction of their lives other than to bring more hatred and judgment by everyone around them. If they haven’t served their time and you feel that they are a danger to the public, then leave them in incarceration. If you must; require them not to participate and check on them to make sure they are complying. Anything else beyond this does nothing to encourage them to rejoin the society of those around them, but encourages the society around them to isolate themselves even more from them. It’s an interesting idea, but poorly contrived and even less thoughtful in application.

Bethesdaist

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:41:21 -0500

You're right, it was Halloween III and not IV. My memory is fading - except for the flashing tv ad and obnoxious music right before the kids heads would explode. I really wanted one of those masks. I was going to say that maybe an "exploding head" warning sign might be a good deterrent to put on the sex offenders' doors, but that's probably not appropriate.

boondoggle

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:33:45 -0500

Must have been awkward times at the Washington Times staff meeting the first time the story was discussed: “so yeah, this guy on my street, yeah that sounds right, he uh, got something in the mail the other day with this totally messed up pumpkin sign and well he gave it to me to bring in..”

The Anti DC

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:28:12 -0500

Aww, for some reason all this talk about candy made me think of MC Pee Pants' greatist hit: http://meatwadwantscandy.ytmnd.com/ Come to think of it, I think Pee Pants also lured 'em in with the sexy aforementioned signage.

IMGoph

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:26:30 -0500

wow, this just seems like it's going to lead to some old-fashioned lynchings, doesn't it?

Vaughan

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:07:59 -0500

ironically, broccoli might have lured me in even faster than the psychedelic pumpkin when i was a kid, as my mom somehow brainwashed me into thinking it was delicious. so my apologies to supporters of cruciferous veggies everywhere. i'm calling bad idea jeans on the sign. p.s. - i heart you commenters. thank you for making me laugh...even about a sign to deter creepy ol' sex offenders.

Xtena

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 14:05:23 -0500

hmart has tomato-flavored candy

KrazyKat

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:43:40 -0500

Actually that was Halloween 3 Bethesdaist. 4 was with the little girl who was actually a relative of Michael Myers. Got to love them. Should a child have an adult or be with a group to prevent a child sex offender from asking a kid if they want a lick off of his lollypop.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:42:52 -0500

I think that would add to the excitement on Halloween: deliberately going to the sex offender's house and asking for candy. Certainly more fun than toiletpapering the kid-free houses or soaping the car windows. There's not much else to dare ever since Old Man Jenkins passed away. At least, they say he passed away. Some say he's still alive in that old house on the hill, him and his elderly wheelchair-bound mother. Haven't seen her for years. But Fatso down the street still swears he saw him dancing in the full moon light, wearing nothing but a bunny mask and singing some old Navajo death chant. What a fool, that Fatso. Little does he know that there never was an Old Man Jenkins. That it was me in that bunny mask the whole time. Now I'll just wait here under Fatso's bed until he gets home from soccer practice. I'm waiting for you, Fatso. Time to put my bunny mask on. And get my knife. Happy Halloween, Fatso.

JoanArkham

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:42:49 -0500

Actually, it was Halloween III and OMFG, do I love the hell out of that movie. (I think we must be secretly related, Bethesdaist.)

Bethesdaist

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:33:30 -0500

That pumpkin logo reminds me of Halloween 4: Season of the Witch. "Hurry up it's Halloween, Halloween, Halloween, Hurry up its Halloween, Silver Shamrock - kids, put on your masks..." I am the only person in the universe who loved that sequel. Exploding kid heads!

arglebargle

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:28:32 -0500

I'm going to print out 20 of these in color, and stick them on my friends and enemies front doors!!!! Let the fun begin!

smittydc

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:24:20 -0500

So it's basically a "sex offender lives here" sign? Just telling them to turn off the lights and not answer the door covered it, no?

Henry Krinkle

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:17:33 -0500

What would happen if you put up a sign that said "Lots of candy in my pants!"?

Boomhauer

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:07:42 -0500

They forgot to include bumper stickers saying "No candy inside this Ford Econoline" or "No candy in the bed of this El Camino"

Deep

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:07:25 -0500

When is too old to trick or treat?

TheCounter

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:04:31 -0500

What the flip?? I can never seem to get that tag to work right. Can someone give me an HTML tutorial? And some broccoli-flavored candy, maybe?

TheCounter

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:02:07 -0500

@JoanArkham I will do my best to help allay your Halloween-related feelings of inadequacy. Please FedEx me lots of candy, and I will FedEx you receipts for my Pepto Bismol expenses. And receipts for my FedEx expenses.

realidealist

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 13:00:10 -0500

I like the broccoli idea so much I changed my avatar.

JoanArkham

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:56:04 -0500

How many kids trick-or-treat anymore? We live in a typical VA burb, and we hardly get any kids coming to our door. Or maybe we just have a bad reputation?

no_more_caffeine

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:52:52 -0500

i think that design was a bad idea and i can say that because it is

realidealist

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:47:11 -0500

Yeah, that pumpkin reminds me of those candy pumpkins that are made out of the candy corn stuff. It makes me want sugar. I think that design was a bad idea and I can say that because I'm a graphic designer.

TheCounter

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:41:12 -0500

Hey kids, I don't have any candy at my residence, but come inside my white van. I have lots of candy there, and a puppy! You can pet my puppy if you just get in my van. Too bad for all those parole and probation officers who want to spend Halloween taking their kids trick-or-treating. Sure, they will be service the public by making sure that sex offenders are staying in line, but it's still too bad that it comes at the expense of some quality parent-child bonding.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:40:40 -0500

I second using the Madonna picture. It'll scare the ca-ca out of you. http://www.horrortalk.com/reviews/OmegaMan/OmegaMan6.jpg">Zombies ain't got nothin on her.

Vaughan

Wed, 15 Oct 2008 12:31:43 -0500

seriously? uh, can they please run these signs by a graphic designer or a child psychologist? preferably both? this might work for kids escorted by parents, but seems ineffective for the inevitable "group" (dare i say pack?) of kids looking for a sugar high. i'm pretty sure kids are pretty drawn to graphics, that they don't read that much, and that that font since it's in all-caps isn't all that legible anyways. putting a big pumpkin on the door seems a little like putting a picture of some jonas brother up there and telling kids "NO AWFUL POP MUSIC BY SYRUPY POORLY STYLED 12 YEAR OLDS HERE." they should really put a stalk of broccoli. or a photo of madonna or something.