Eating Your Way to Election Day

The Burger Joint
The Burger Joint in Bethesda starts with an already oversized 10 oz. dry aged Prime beef burger. Then they top it with a second meal. The McCain Burger patty is flecked with pepper and other Southwestern spices and topped with a sweet, tangy black bean salsa and two thick slices of pepper jack cheese. Sales figures are tabulated every day and the Joint plans to start posting a tally of who’s in the lead closer to Election Day.

For the Obama, The Burger Joint tops their patty with a whole grilled Vienna Beef Hot Dog. Imported from Chicago, it has a seasoned, salty kick to it. The rest of the dog toppings are exactly what you would find in the Windy City. Relish of a perfect emerald green hue, chopped raw onions, a tomato slice and a pickle. And they don’t forget the celery salt. It takes a serious eater to wrap their mouth around either of these burgers, which are priced at $12.99 -- on the expensive side for a burger and counter service, but one burger is pretty much four meals.

Asia Nine
Asia Nine is the only restaurant to pay tribute to both the presidential and VP candidates. Their Candidates’ Selection Rolls are generously constructed, creatively plated, and fairly priced at $8 each. Chef’s Special Rolls are normally priced in the $10-$15 range.

The Obama Roll was conceived as a “lean and green” concoction, with asparagus spears, cucumber slices, avocado, and other veggies paying tribute to the tall, slim candidate. But owner Nuthinepan Tantivejakul added lobster meat to give the Obama a fair chance to compete with its fellow rolls. In the tough world of electoral politics, radish sprouts will never be able to compete with shellfish. The surrounding flash-fried and fresh basil adds a unique, pungent kick.

The chef tested versions with Cool Ranch and Spicy Nacho Doritos for the McCain Roll before deciding that the good old Nacho Cheese variety was the way to go. It’s a bold choice. Though Arizona is not normally associated with lobster, the crustacean is again thrown in for good measure. But, my friends, the crunch and cheese powder flavor dominates the lobster and guacamole filling.

What do you get when you add sprigs of dill to a typical Philadelphia Roll (smoked salmon and cream cheese). Sarah Palin, of course! Is the roll a tribute to the Governor’s love of bagels and lox? Perhaps her knowledge of a foreign culture? No, the Alaskan salmon is of course a nod to the Governor’s heritage. The dill is a pervasive presence, which fittingly makes it the least conventional roll of the four.

The Biden Roll, just like the Senator when off message and on a tangent, is the most colorful of the four. The roll is covered in fried tempura batter “crunchies,” which would be perfect to symbolize a “crunchy hippy” running mate (Dennis Kucinich) or greaseball pol (um, insert your least favorite congressman here). The roll features real and imitation crabmeat in a nod to the region, with the taste of the imitation stuff overshadowing its more subtle cousin.

Town & Country
Legendary bartender Sam Lek has been slinging drinks at the Mayflower Hotel’s Town & Country bar for 33 years—or eight presidential elections. When he serves you the 2008 version of his red and white martinis, you’ll think you’re about to sip a sweet cosmo or sugary electric blue lemonade. Drinker: beware! The Red Elephant is pretty much a glass of vodka, dyed red, and served up with a lemon twist. It will bite you like a pit-bull wearing lipstick. And don’t expect the triple sec or Blue Curacao to cut the taste of the gin in the Blue Donkey. These two are for hard drinkers only.

Sam’s Arizona Sunset and Chicago Cocktail are a bit more user friendly, but premium Patron tequila is lost on the fresh orange juice and prickly pear syrup in the red and ruddy McCain drink. The three make for a more than drinkable combo, but one not much different from what you might find in a punch bowl at a Mt. Pleasant house party. Sam heard from a guest that Obama liked cognac and kept that in mind when mixing Remy Martin, bitters, and triple sec with a sugared rim for Obama’s city.

1331 Lounge
The Election Eats menu at the JW Marriott’s 1331 Lounge takes a bi-partisan/red white & blue route instead of pitting candidate against candidate. Undeciders Sliders are 3 for $9, but they’re not for mixing and matching, so you actually will have to make a decision on which to order. The peculiarly named “Cows and Politics” may be the pick of the lot. They’re tasty patties (claimed to be Kobe beef) topped with cheddar and a throwback to “mighty mo” sauce from when the Marriott brand was making their money from Hot Shoppes cafeterias in Washington instead of hotels. We’re talking Eisenhower days! “Swimming up Stream” with a mini salmon filet and melted dill havarti is a house favorite. There’s also “FDR’s Chicken in the Pot,” which is a bite of grilled chicken and corn chow chow, and “Bay of Pigs” for JFK and/or pulled pork fans.

Does the spicy Asian sauce on the Left Wings symbolize Barack Obama’s birth in Hawaii and upbringing in the Philippines? Is the honey barbecue sauce on the Right Wings a recipe borrowed from a press corps BBQ at John McCain’s Arizona home? No, the kitchen just couldn’t resist the political pun…and what’s more American than chicken parts?

And what’s the real difference between the two major political parties? It all comes down to pomegranate liquor versus Blue Curacao. That’s what separates Lounge 1331’s Grand Old Potable and Left of the Isle martinis, both of which use Absolute Citron and housemade sour mix. So even if you have a candidate, go instead for the On the Fence. At first look, the milky white drink screams egg nog in a martini glass. But the blend of cognac, amaretto, and crème de cacao leave a smoother way to help you figure out whom to vote for. And you can even play 1331 Filibuster Fun Facts and Trivia as you drink the night away.

Topaz Bar
Topaz Bar prints a running tally of Election ’08 preferences, from its Topaz Votes ’08 Campaign Cocktail Menu. According to the latest polling data, the Double-Down Donkey now enjoys a double-digit lead over the All-In Elephant. D.C.'s blue leanings sort of make it inevitable that the Donkey’s citrus vodka, Blue Curacao, sour mix, splash of champagne would wallop the Elephant’s blend of Malibu Rum, Bacardi Orange, amaretto, grenadine, and lime juice with a splash of cranberry and orange juice.