Eating In: Deep-Fried Thanksgiving
On the eighth day, God invented the turkey, so that man would have something to deep-fry. I have only come to this conclusion after years of doing my patriotic duty to consume massive amounts of turkey on Thanksgiving. The basic approach when frying a turkey is, well, rather similar to frying anything else. The main difference is the amount of oil involved (5 gallons in my case), and the lack of batter. The resulting skin is crispy and delicious, and the short cooking time keeps the meat from drying out. Also, once the turkey comes out of the oil, you now have a ready-made setup in which you can fry anything else that you might have in mind: chocolates, pumpkin pie, or in my case, bacon. The only real downside of this method is that there are no pan-drippings for making turkey gravy, but that can be remedied by separately roasting some turkey bits if you so desire. Here's how you proceed:
Step 1: Obtain Equipment/Turkey
There are safety risks involved with frying a turkey, and as such, all frying activities should be done outside, as far away from your residence as possible. If hot oil overflows the kettle it has the potential to ignite and burn your whole place down. Since that's generally a bad idea, you'll need to get your hands on a large pot (8 gallons is a good starting point) and a propane burner to heat it with. You'll also need a rack to use when transferring the turkey into and out of the oil, and ideally, a frying thermometer to make sure your oil is at the right temperature. As for the bird itself, you can fry any turkey as long as it doesn't weigh more than 15 pounds. If you've got a crowd that requires more turkey than that, you can always roast another turkey at the same time.
Step 2: Thaw
If your turkey is frozen, it is imperative that you thaw it completely before attempting to deep-fry. This is the #1 cause of burning your house down: if a frozen turkey is lowered into hot oil, the result is a fireball that nobody wants to see. If you have time you can thaw the turkey in the fridge, but if you're in a rush, soaking the turkey in periodically changed cold water will thaw it out in about 4-6 hours.
Step 3: Check Displacement
Remove the plastic wrapping from your turkey, remove the neck and giblets, and place the turkey in the kettle that you will be using to fry. Fill the kettle with water until the water level is a couple inches above the top of the turkey. Remove the turkey and mark the water level. This is how much oil you will need to use for frying.
Step 4: Brine
Although this is an optional step, I find it helps keep the turkey meat moist, and results in an even more flavorful and crispy skin. Ingredients for the brine:
1 c kosher salt
1/2 c dark brown sugar
small handful whole black peppercorns
small handful whole allspice berries
1 gallon water
2 tsp dried rosemary
2 tsp dried sage
Combine ingredients and bring to a boil to combine, making sure all the sugar and salt are dissolved. Cool this liquid down by adding a half gallon of ice, and submerge the turkey in the resulting brine for 6-8 hours. I use a food-safe plastic bucket, but anything that lets you keep the turkey submerged in the brine will do just fine.
Step 5: Prep
Remove the turkey from the brine, rinse it off with cold water, and then thoroughly dry it off. You want to make sure the outside of the bird is as dry as possible. While the turkey is drying, begin heating your oil, checking the temperature periodically with the frying thermometer. I like to get the oil up to around 360F and then let it coast down to 325-350 after the bird is added.
Step 6: Fry
Put the turkey on the rack and carefully lower it into the oil. Cooking should take about 3 minutes per pound. When the turkey is done, remove it from the hot oil and cover with aluminum foil. Let the turkey rest for at least 15 minutes, and carve.
Step 7: The After-Fry
You've put a lot of propane energy in this oil. Don't let it go to waste. Batter and fry your assorted goodies. If you do any candy bars or Twinkies, be sure that you've frozen them first or you'll have one gross leaky chocolatey mess. For bacon, slightly pre-cook it to ensure that it is fully cooked after frying.
Batter recipe (adapted from Emeril's recipe):
1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 cup full-bodied ale (not too hoppy)
1 large egg, lightly beaten
2 tablespoons milk
* 1/4 teaspoon salt
In a bowl, combine 1 cup of the flour, the ale, egg, milk, baking powder, and salt. Whisk to make a smooth batter the consistency of cream, adding more ale, as needed, to thin. Chopsticks are the easiest utensil for dipping and dropping your goodies in the oil. They are done when they rise to the top, but can be cooked a little longer to ensure a more golden crust. Use a metal strainer to pull them out: and we do mean all-metal. Super-hot oil tends to disagree with little bits of plastic.
Step 8: Bask
Sit around, eat delicious fried things, drink delicious things, and celebrate this, the most holy of indulgent holidays.