December 1, 2008
Blankets With Sleeves: Scourge or Snuggly?
A rare post from me concerning a non-local D.C. issue, but I'm currently engaged in a heated Twitter debate over whether those hideous blankets with the sleeves, marketed under such names as Slanket or Snuggie, are remotely acceptable.
In one corner are those who reasonably argue that these blankets are an abomination, too strange and ridiculous looking to even be considered a reasonable purchase. In the other corner, the comfort-at-all-costs camp, who say that staying warm while having your hands free is just awesome enough to merit looking like a jerk. These are invariably the same people who show up at the airport in their pajamas and think shorts and flip-flops are perfectly fine fashion choices for a second date.
You can probably see which way I'm leaning here, but the trouble is more and more friends who I previously trusted keep indicating their support for the besleeved blanket. And as each one turns, I'm finding myself growing ever more curious about whether the Snuggie is really so inferior that it's worth only half as much as the Slanket. Does the Slanket just have a better name and snazzier product descriptions? Or is the fabric of the more expensive model worth its weight in snuggly warmth? I do not want to buy a Slanket! Or do I?
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ACCEPTABLE! I've wanted the Slanket ever since I saw it in the SkyMall magazine on a flight. It's not like you'd wear it outside, it's the same as a blanket on your couch only with the added benefit of sleeves! brilliant.
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I think it's OK as long as you don't leave your house with it. Certainly better than wearing white sneakers with a business suit on the metro.
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The model looks like a member of a religious order who's trying to look seductive. Fail.
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I do not want to by a Slanket! Or do I?
Maybe!
I had a psycho ex-girlfriend who practically lived in one of those. She'd only emerge from it to defecate, take her lithium, and write bad poetry. The cool ones are the fleece numbers that are basically huge pillowcases with footholes in the corners. You pretty much look like an Oompah Loompah but hell, it's you're house. I don't know your life. Throw on some fake tan, an orange wig, invite your boyfriend over, turn on the webcam, and sell that $h!t pay-per-view.
And don't forget to register the domain "slanketslutz.com."
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UNACCEPTABLE! The only people wearing these blankets with sleeves should be pious monks who took a vow of celibacy. For the rest of us, do the romantic thing and snuggle up on the couch with your loved one under an old fashioned blanket made for two.
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Why stop at sleeves? They should make one with a zipper fly as well, so I can stay all snuggly and warm while taking a pee break.
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It's kind of a slippery slanket slope (Oooooh! Alliteration!). People start wearing this crap at home, sooner or later, they'll be wearing it to Target and beating their kids in it.
Keep that visual pollution indoors where it belongs, or I reserve the right to beat you with a flail while reciting Gregorian chants.
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I received one a few years ago as a Christmas present from my father. This is the same father that got me a reversible NASCAR jacket for my 21st birthday, so you can see how good his taste it. The slanket, as you call it, has gotten more use than the jacket albeit very little use.
I do have to say, though, that I was generally surprised at how warm the damn thing was. The slanket that I have is a blanket that can be snapped together to form the sweater-type clothing. I never wear it, but if I have company and have used all of my blankets, I will pull that thing out.
I would NEVER buy one for myself or as a gift. The reason I still have it is because of shear laziness. I stuffed it under my bed right after I got it and haven't pulled it out since. Since you reminded me that I have it, I might donate it to a homeless shelter, or better yet, straight to a homeless person. It is very warm...might save a life.
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I bet everyone who has one of these slankets also wears Crocs....I'm just sayin'
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I laugh my head off everytime I see the Snuggie commercials. They look like ready-made cult garb. Particularly when they show the family wearing them IN PUBLIC at a sporting event. That was over the line.
I put my vote in that these things are atrocities on a par with Crocs, fanny-packs, and National Socialism, and should be similarly ridiculed as too heinous for even use within the privacy of one's home, let alone in public. Plus, I'll bet they get caught in Metro escalators even more easily than Crocs. Perhaps when the Snuggie cult engineers their own Jonestown-style mass suicide, that's the method they'll choose. Death by escalator.
Does something as simple and time-honored as a blanket really need an ergonomic overhaul?
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This has got to be the most ridiculous invention ever. First of all, they are undeniably hideous. They make you look like a member of a bizarre fleece-based cult. Second, it's basically just a housecoat/robe that you wear backwards. There is no need for this product to exist, except for the purveyors to make money off of idiots.
And they are intended to be worn outdoors, apparently. The Snuggie commercial I saw yesterday showed people wearing them at a baseball game! What's next?!
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Have you seen the commercial where towards the end, an entire family of four is sitting in the stands at a football game wearing those things? they looked like straight batshit cultmembers. it just didn't look right. We Ethiopians use something called a gaby (gah-bee) -- http://www.seraphicpress.com/Jewish%2BEthiopians%2BFuneral.JPEG -- made of thick white cotton. There are versions made of thinner material. Yes, it's white and thus hard to keep clean, but believe you me: we're talking international chick magnet here.
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So, they're basically long sleeved ponchos marketed for indoor use?
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scourge.
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Unacceptable. And weird looking. And I wonder if those would develop some weird oder after a couple of days of wearing it.
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Since part of the appeal is that it's long enough to cover your feet, I don't understand how you're supposed to leave the house wearing it. Seems like you'd have to walk along holding up your hem to even get to the escalator to get it caught.
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Do NOT buy this. I was watching tv non-stop this weekend and saw this commercial several times. 1st time: mouth agape. 2nd: shaking my head back-and-forth and finally muttering, "Are they fucking serious?", and 3rd: repeat Ian's comments here.
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This looks like something you dress up in at a LOTR movie premier. I'm sure they're great to be naked under.
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Anything that allows one to really turn down the heat and save on the heating bill can't be all bad.
If you lived in Montana or somewhere which has more cold weather, and longer periods of it than the mid-Atlantic, these would probably make more sense to you
Acceptable.
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Unacceptable. Wear a shirt, cover yourself with a blanket, but don't wear a blanket...or is it actually a poorly-made shirt...or backwards robe? I'm convinced it was designed by the mentally handicapped and made as a joke, but then caught on with the "I buy garden tools in hopes I'll have a garden someday" types.
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A slanket is far more acceptable than people that still say "FAIL" -- can we PLEASE not bring that with us to 2009? I'm fine if the slankets come but let's leave 'fail' in 2008. Super. Thanks.
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I disagree with the suggestion that they should put a zipper in the thing so you can pee -- much better just to line it with Depends undergarments - bonus if that also grows alfalfa sprouts.
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I'm going to buy one of these things and wear it in public just to piss people off. Throw on my Crocs, my Hello Nazi fanny pack, and my Batman Underoos and I'm off to Target to beat my kids and scream fractured ebonics. Straight UP.
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I've got it on my Christmas list so I can sit on my balcony during winter in cozy comfort. I mean, I can sit out there in winter, but I'd rather do it without freezing my $%*&s off.
However, I'd never take it out of the front door of my apartment. There's a fleece blanket stashed in the car for the express purpose of protecting my butt from cold metal bleachers at family sporting events. And it doesn't have sleeves.
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The socialist sister-in-law demanded that no x-mas gift be over $25 this year. I'm going to Snuggie her ass!
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monkey: the croc comparison is interesting. I imagine that slankets are even more likely to get sucked into Metro escalators. I could come around on slankets, but the city itself abhors them.
Also: totally agreed on FAIL, martyz. It was irritating the moment it escaped geek circles.
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this is a robe worn backwards.
of course it's stupid.
i wonder if you can buy it with the special baseball-type cap that shades your neck instead of your face!
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For those of you who think this is acceptable to wear at home my question is: what if there is some kind of emergency--like your house is on fire--and you have to go outside immediately? And don't tell me you would have bigger concerns than they humiliation of people seeing you in the slanket. My sister-in-law and I had this conversation over Thanksgiving, because she almost bought adult size footie pajamas.
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I'm going to say no on this. But I have to say that I'm getting some mixed messages. The slanket, or whatever it's called, makes me think: warm cozy. The big-headed hipster is making me think: it's a trick, get an axe. And finally, the creepy black leather couch makes me think: fraternity basement.
I just don't know what the Snuglet marketing department was thinking hiring Irwin R. Hipdouche and having him pose lounged in the bowels of Sigma Chi.
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It was irritating the moment it escaped geek circles.
Well, that's pretty much true of EVERYTHING, from 1337speak to tentacle porn. Hell, I remember when bukkake was enjoyed by an elite, aberrant coterie of deviants. Now it's a major revenue stream for Nickelodeon.
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So, in that picture? Is there someone else under that Slanket? Because the dude looks a little too happy for a balding four-eyed dork in a Slanket.
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My other issue with the slanket is the potential for negative impact on my sex life. Once you live with someone, married or not, there are so many opportunities to make yourselve less attractive to your partner. I already worry about my penchant for not showering on Sundays, but if I start walking around my apartment in a slanket my boyfriend might never look at me the same again.
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Can we all chip in and buy Sommer one of these things? Something tasteful, maybe in glen plaid or seersucker, with a "No Taxation without Representation" logo on the back? No? How about a beer barrel with suspender straps? All the cool kids are wearing them nowdays when they're shooting heroin in Fairfax.
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Slanket and Crocs, the attire of the Future!
Don't forget the Dippin' Dots!
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Why get a slanket, when you can get a wearable sleeping bag?
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/artsandliving/features/2008/holiday-guide/gifts/for-the-naughty/gallery.html
(number 5 in the gallery)
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Thjat thing is going to get nasty fast.
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why haven't i seen the commercials for these backward robes/appendage-y blankets/fashion-forward cult classics? they must truly be awesome. and the fact that they hired one of the nerd extras from sixteen candles to strike a tom selleck pose earns bonus points.
yikes! i'm all about comfort, but i'm learning toward abomination. however, i'd bet a sizable amount that my mom gets me one of these for xmas. and that at least one of my enterprising relatives uses it as fertile bedazzling territory.
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The picture bothers me most because the guy's like a creepy version of David Wain. If David Wain were the model, I'm sure my girlfriend would want us to buy two.
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No, no, the blanket model is clearly a reject from the Harry Potter audition.
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Should be issued to poor people in NE who can't afford heating (and/or heating bills get in the way of their next Colt 45 acquisition).
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*headpalm*
Seriously? Welles is a troll, may we please ban the person.
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Are you actually trying to argue against the fact that drunkenness is more prevalent among the poor black than any other demo?
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I bought one of these as a christmas gift for my sister. Seems like the perfect gift for the individual who likes to lounge around and watch a lot of TV.
I'd like to point out that I doubt the slanket was designed to be worn outside of the home, so honestly who gives a flying fark what someone else thinks?
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Snuggie is a better name than the Slanket, which sounds like the bed linens of a skank.
I vote yes, but only because we keep our apartment cold, and it's tough to knit or read, while under a blanket. And yes, I have multiple shirts/sweaters/sweatshirts on.
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Note to Friends of Wizzyliz: DO NOT under any circumstances tell me that you own one of these. And that goes for your Chia Pet, too.
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blittle: maybe welles has simply become the vessel for the reincarnated soul of johnathan rees. agreed, though, that's he's a troll, and a rather racist one at that.
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I've managed to live my entire life up to this moment without ever seeing one of those things, so in retrospect this was kind of a letdown.
I'm going to say "acceptable" IF -- and this is a big IF -- you're planning on moving somewhere where they have winter. Not the pissy little "it's gray and too cold for shirtsleeves" season that we have here, I mean a really big honking winter where people have to jump out of second-story windows because the snow drifts have covered the ground floor and it's so cold that Minnesotans won't eat ice cream out of doors unless it has hot fudge on it.
Incidentally, am I the only person who saw this product and tried to imagine versions with four sleeves, to accomodate a partner? Probably, since most people were turned off by the poorly-photoshopped picture of Douglas Fargo from Eureka -- I sure was -- but wouldn't four sleeves sell? Or six or eight sleeves, for the occasional orgy? You could issue dozens of different models, each differing in the placement of the sleeves and performing the same function for afficionados of the Kama Sutra that those outline footprints with numbers on them perform for people learning the Cha-Cha.
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Until I had kids I would have said no way in he@# is this thing acceptable. After two nights in a row sleeping with my sick kid in an upright position in a glider chair so that my kid can breathe, that slanket is looking mighty cozy. Kids never want daddy when they are sick! The regular blanket slides off of the glider too easily and my hands are full holding onto the kid. The slanket would solve the problem.
I would never leave the house in it. It would be relegated to the same status as sweat/yoga/workout clothes, pajamas and slippers. Behind closed doors only.
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Oooo--you're NOT supposed to wear it out? Hmmn, my bad. I thought I was getting in on the ground floor of some new trappist monk craze sweeping the nation. And here I went and wore mine to a renaissance fair in Leesburg recently. No wonder I didn't see any other Friar Tuck types in their Snugglies, with a sash made out of the cord tying up the drapes at a room at the Omni.
Wow-lot of negative feedback about these. But let's ask the pregnant question: had Jimmy Cater appeared in one of these (instead of his cardigan) and asked Americans to turn down the thermostat would he have been re-elected? I can sure get behind these more than just a stupid sweater!!!
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Cross cross will make you
"Snuggle, Snuggle!"
Seriously, it's a bathrobe.
but I like the idea of wearing i front/back-wards, and crocs... nothing else, and wandering the earth, preaching the effects of comfydom.
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I meant wearing "it" ah well.
Oh, and that dude totally looks like Harry Potter, gone wrong.
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If you can't figure out how to get your hands out from under a blanket, you don't deserve to be warm.
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every purchase of a slanket entitles the wearer to a complimentary coupon booklet to Junkpunchers: An American Brasserie. (offer void in most States and the District of Columbia. close cover before striking.)
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Are you actually trying to argue against the fact that drunkenness is more prevalent among the poor black than any other demo?
Why should I, when the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism already has? According to citations of their research, the champion per capita consumers of alcohol, racially speaking, are Native Americans and Hawaiian Islanders. African Americans, especially younger ones, are actually quite moderate in their drinking habits: "Among adolescent minorities studied nationwide, African Americans show the lowest prevalence of lifetime, annual, monthly, daily, and heavy drinking, as well as the lowest frequency of being drunk. Hispanic adolescents have the highest annual prevalence of heavy drinking, followed by Whites."
Or maybe you prefer the National Institutes of Health? For 2001-2002, their figures show the incidence of alcoholism among African Americans at 3.3%, compared with averages of 5.8% for Native Americans, 5.1% for Whites and 4.0% for Hispanics. African Americans aged 18-29 have the lowest incidence of alcoholism of that age group, even lower than that of Asian Americans.
There are a lot of social ills that disproportionately affect African Americans. The overconsumption of alcohol, however, is not one of them.
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I would bet that 3.1% of African-Americans would wear a Snuggie, compared to 71.3% of Caucasians, and 41.0% of Hispanics. Native Americans would never wear something that they didn't catch themselves.
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Well, America does love simplicity. Now you can make your Easy Mac while in your Snugglie!
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I would bet that 3.1% of African-Americans would wear a Snuggie, compared to 71.3% of Caucasians
Black guys lounge on the couch like this, "Do, do, ch. Do-be-do, do-be-do-be-do." But white guys, see, they lounge on the couch like this, "Dee-da-dee, a-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee, I'm so warm under my new Snuggie."
(It's true, it's true! We're so lame! Well, I am, anyway, and I don't even need to own a Slanket for that to be true.)
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oh my! and the season of magic commences - there at the top of my screen is the ad for the snuggie. my wish comes true. although thank you commenters for pointing out that the snuggie is not to be confused with the far superior slanket. i wonder why they didn't call it a bleather.
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It's so borderline...As far as I'm concerned it's only acceptable if you have a hobby like knitting, or cannot adequately heat your home. Otherwise use a damn blanket - you cannot possibly be that cold!
I will say that I have something similar for use in airplanes - GENIUS. It's like a blanket with wings and feet. You drape it onto the seat, step into it and pull it around you cocoon-like. Best investment for anyone who travels!
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That thing looks like the Holocaust cloak from "The Princess Bride." You know, the one Andre the Giant gets from Miracle Max...huh huh??
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There is a snuggie ad at the top of this page, as we speak, so everyone shhhh or the snuggy monks will get us all.
To echo others, snuggie = bathrobe backwards or ugly monks habit. Unacceptable. And besides, what does it do that beaver pelt sweatsuit doesn't?
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Why all the hate?
My fiancee bought me a slanket for Christmas last year and I looked at him like he was crazy. BUT now I love it. I wear it when I am sitting on the couch watching tv. It keeps my VERY warm. Yes, its ugly but at least it keeps the heating bill low.
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This guy definitely "drank the punch". He looks like a cult member or something out of a teddy bear version of Star Wars. This thing is ridiculous. It's like somebody took the ugliness of crocs and decided to complete the look.
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I like how everyone on the commercial and website look like Jedi masters.
https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next
https://www.getsnuggie.com/flare/next?videoID=ai195&bufferTime=5
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The model looks like a member of a religious order who's trying to look seductive. Fail.
hahahahahahahahaha
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Native Americans would never wear something that they didn't catch themselves.
They're probably worried that the Slankets being sold at K-Marts near the 'rez come pre-infected with smallpox. And of course African-Americans wouldn't touch these things because the Snuggle Company is owned by the Klan.
That guy in the pic is really starting to creep me out. It's like he's just put on some Barry White and he's all like, "C'mon, baby. Slip on out of that outfit and into a cool martini. I got more moves than Ex Lax. Aw, yeah." Then you look down into your drink and realize he's slipped you a mickey. Then you wake up in an alley in Pottstown with a bump on your noggin and no pants. And you curse the battleship grey skies, "DAMN YOU, SLANKET! GOD DAMN YOU TO HELL!"
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newsjunkie,
I'll take your snugglie off your hands. my roommate and i have been thinking about getting these so we can smoke on our deck in winter without feezing our a$$e$ off.
Thanks
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GreenA,
Don't forget the wine. We need snuggies so we can smoke AND drink on our deck in winter. My wine consumption has declined dramatically now that it's too cold to spend all evening on the deck. Tragic.
I'm still worried about what the neighbors will think, however. The snuggie will likely have a deleterious effect on our coolness factor.
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Esmerelda,
They will think we've joined or started a cult, naturally. Especially if we're all sitting around on the deck in our matching holocaust cloaks.
If they decide we've joined the cult, then we look like losers, BUT if they decide we STARTED the cult, then our coolness factor goes way up. It's a guaranteed fact.
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y'all need lives.
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C'mon! Playa in the pic be SPORTIN! Bitches be THROWIN pussy at him!
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@ClevelandRocks
[spits out Fetzer Merlot Boxed Wine]
What do you mean need a life?
[puts out cigarette and wiggles back in to the house due to wearing a slutket]
This message was brought to you by the makers of slutket, for those that just need some extra holes in their Slanket.
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You bitches are way late here. The Gays who like to linger in another man's stink have long known about these modern miracles.
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Cult is just another word for tax-free.
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Don't be haters, just because we're the only honest commenters on DCist and actually comfortable enough in our slankets to wear 'em and be proud. y'all are far too worried about what other people might think of you. Must be sad living that way.
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So, they're basically long sleeved ponchos marketed for indoor use?
Correction -- they're assless long sleeved ponchose marketed for indoor use.
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I'd bet that 26.1 % of people joking about these snlankets actually secretly wish they would get one for christmas. That way they can be warm and snuggly while making witty remarks on DCist :)
Or hospitals will buy huge stocks in these.. I mean they basically are a warm snuggly version of a hospital gown...
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is there a PVC version available for those of us into watersports?
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do they only come in redskins burgandy and that grey color? because that's the deal breaker right there.
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"they're assless long sleeved ponchose marketed for indoor use."
For some reason, The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly comes to mind. But mostly the ugly. And Ren Fest. And polyester fleece blanket-clad RenFest refugees camping on moldy couches on back decks. Eww.
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@cleveland rocks
i find it ironic that you spend YOUR time telling people THEY need to find lives.
i love you!
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Look, if they were in fact "marketed for indoor use", this thread wouldn't be nearly as long, but in reality the commercial features a family wearing them in the stands at a sporting event. That's marketing for outdoor use, and it's where 73% of the outrage and ridicule comes from.
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If one were to insist on wearing this to a sporting event, the only way to improve on "the look" would be to include a pair of deely bobbers, a giant foam hand, and a cheese hat. Homoerotic asphyxiation would help, too.
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You know, if these assless wonders came with a sphere I would totally buy one and practice my vale lore so I too can be a super hero like Anthony Williams.
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I saw a commercial for one of these the other day, and noted that everyone wearing one of these things looked like they were about to participate in some sort of council meeting in a Star Wars movie...
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@blittle:
GreenA and I would never drink boxed Merlot. Please! It's only the finest White Zin in a jug for us.
Also, folks are just jealous because they're not being invited to join our snuggie cult.
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I actually clicked on this because I am trying to make a blanket out of sleeves. I'm collecting sleeves. So, when you are done laughing, if you have any spare sleeves lying around (or shirts with sleeves) I'd like to collect.
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These could be provided to folks who spend winter nights sleeping on steam grates. If they fail to keep them warm, they could double as body bags.
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Many Bothans died to bring you these Slankets. And it's almost impossible to get the smell out. Dead Bothan. Ew. Worse than chili cheese halfsmoke trenchbutt farts.