December 11, 2008
Norton Asks Buildings to Stay Open During Inauguration
One of the things no one has really brought up yet in terms of the massive crowd estimates being bandied about for Barack Obama's inauguration is that the date of the presidential inauguration is more often than not one of the coldest days of the year in Washington. Well the Washington Business Journal reported today that Del. Eleanor Holmes Norton is asking the federal and local government as well as private and nonprofit organizations to open up more buildings to house crowds on Jan. 20, a step that would become vital if temperatures are extremely low that day. The article tiptoes around it, but Norton is also clearly largely concerned that there could be 4 million people walking through the District with no place to pee.
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In related news, the office of outgoing President George W. Bush is frantically working to enact the "No Porta-John Left Behind Act", allowing federal funds to be allocated for acquiring portable toilets to combat the potential flooding of DC streets.
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HA HA what a terrible idea...thousands and thousands of people rushing federal buildings just to take a leak and warm their toes!? And who is gonna come in to work that day to man those buildings!?
Wear layers, and keep an empty bottle handy... solution, done
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SOLUTION:
1000 50 gallon drums. Fill with wood, light. Place around mall. Later, use drums for toilets and sleep quarters.
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That Tuesday is a federal holiday in D.C., and I would imagine that many people in this area (including myself) will be keeping as far from the inauguration proceedings as possible. Who is going to open the buildings? If WMATA is so concerned about security that they are closing the restrooms in metro stations, why on earth would the federal government want to open their secure facilities to huge crowds of people?
I realize that D.C. government will do their best to pull off the inauguration as smoothly as possible, but 'best' in D.C. usually rates about a C+/B-.
I would say the best philosophy with regard to the inauguration is: 'hope for the best; expect the worst.'
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That's what the gutter is for. Hike one leg up and willy out your water. Besides, people will be too sloshed themselves to gawk at you.
Go for it. Move ahead. Try to detect it. It's not too late...to whip-it! Whip-it good!
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I'd like to know when someone else's bladder became my problem.
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And how are the people needed to keep the buildings open and secure supposed to get to work? Roads will be closed. There will be no parking. Metro will be overwhelmed and is closing the stations near those buildings. MARC and MD commuter buses will not honer commuter tickets.
Does Norton have solution for getting people to work? or does she just want to leave the buildings wide open for thieves, terrorists, and whatever? I bet the Secret Service would love that.
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I'm not even allowed into my own federal building that day. Not. Gonna. Happen.
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heyitsgarrett - I though the No Porta-John Left Behind Act meant there would be no Porta-Johns left in the DC area when the Bushies leave town. Glad to hear I was mistaken.Maybe we can avoid the pissocalypse yet!
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there's no way you can overcome the securicrats. they run the effin' country. anything they wanna do, goes, EHN. doesn't matter if you're the president of the USA.
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Shoulda gone before you went.
More coffee?