DCist: Go Home Already: You Otter Know

IMGoph

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:59:16 -0500

i just got the alanis morissette reference here. i. am. slow.

somegirl

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:48:39 -0500

Hey at least now residents will be able to properly defend there homes! I am training my attack otter now.

Ian Buckwalter

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:07:10 -0500

Sign me up!

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:35:53 -0500

This whole mess could be fixed if DC just had a motorcycle licensing program that included firearms training. That way, people could learn to safely ride and shoot at the same time like they do in John Woo movies. I nominate Michelle Yeoh as Director of Vehicular Firearms Safety.

Ian Buckwalter

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:27:36 -0500

"Are there any gun ranges in the city yet? I would imagine that they are going to need some gun clubs at which to do the training." Well, if the current model for motorcycle endorsement on your driver's license is any indication, then probably not. If you want to get the motorcycle training necessary to get the endorsement (for new riders; if you can pass the demonstration test already, you're fine), there's no place in the District you can do that. The closest option is out at the NOVA campus in Alexandria. I realize it's not quite comparing apples to apples here; but my point is that just because it's idiotic to not have a training center in the District that would be necessary for a District resident to receive a license to do a particular activity doesn't mean that they won't go ahead and require it anyway.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:24:18 -0500

Will dcist be covering Metro's innauguralpocalypse from the trenches? Or should I say open-ditch latrines? Because ain't gonna be enough Port-o-lets to handle the mil-plus touristas, and Metro sure as hell ain't gonna let you use theirs. Can't wait to watch it all fall apart on teevee. What a poignant juxtaposition of a rousing, call-to-arms innaugural speech and tourists packed like cattle freezing to death in their own waste. That's pretty much the global economy in a nutshell. All they need is to let loose the otters and have them run up people's pant legs.

Henry Krinkle

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:15:09 -0500

Can you imagine how many people will be standing on the left on the escalators during Obamrama time? That is, if any of the escalators will be running. I booked my trip to Florida. I hope the rest of you have fun!

econosize

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:12:22 -0500

Sordid, they can just sell those commemorative Obama Smartrip cards at the parking lots.

HCE

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:11:57 -0500

As far as the Council is concerned, the gun issue for me has become more one of fiscal and political irresponsibility than one of gun rights. I don't understand why they could not leave bad enough alone. Instead, they put in place expensive, but useless ballistics testing and set up a whole new slew of legal challenges. I guess they needed to give Nickles something to do.

sordid

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:45:29 -0500

I'm cool with the rush hour fee for Metro. However, charging for parking will be a nightmare. The people who are only using the metro that day (i.e. tourists and local suburbanites) won't know that the only way they can get out of the lot is to pay by SmarTrip card. So Metro should rethink that idea or they are going to have to replace a bunch of busted gate arms.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:13:05 -0500

Those guys belong in a snow globe. With a panda. And Mel Gibson.

Disco Stu

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:11:46 -0500

Hey at least now residents will be able to properly defend there homes! Like this guy. blittle, like the shout out to the Berliner Wunder Pigs. That's got to make the commute interesting?

ill on the hill

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:10:20 -0500

Just as uplifting as pictures of otters would be a picture of Otto from "Animal House."

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 10:06:03 -0500

Rest assured that a properly-trained Second Amender will mercifully put a bullet through your brain. Unlike your usual untrained DC thug who will empty an entire 20-round clip and only manage to hit one bystander, his mynah bird, and a set of wind chimes.

newhampave

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:49:26 -0500

Will they have gun safety training for the rest of us non-gun owning citizens? Like how to run away when some 2nd Amendment-er pulls a gun because I scuffed his bumper during a fender-bender. One word--SERPENTINE!

ajw_93

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:39:36 -0500

otters sure can swim i got an otter and i named it tim i sure do admire him i wanna be an otter The Otter Song, by Too Much Joy Sigh. I miss that band.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:38:33 -0500

Supid fat hobbitses! It ruins it! Spoil nice otter. Give it to usss rrraw...and wrrriggling! You keep nasty chips. The rock and pool is nice and cool, so juicy sweet! [WHACK]

Just161

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:30:12 -0500

When Metro runs peak service, it costs them more. The agency is right to pass these costs onto us, the riders, or ask the inauguration folks for help.

Blackcloud

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:28:19 -0500

I'd find those otters cuter if they were actually ever awake when I visit the zoo. But no, every time I go they're curled up in tiny balls dozing away. I know how I'll be putting my gun training to use.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:25:58 -0500

I have no idea how that Marion Barry cannibalism rumor started, but technically he's never eaten a baby. He just jabs them with his stinger and he goes as limp as a boned fish. Then he has his way with them. That’s how he likes to feed. Fresh blood.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:17:48 -0500

And watching the Council debate the merits of proper gun training was humorous. Do any of them actually know what they're talking about? Since when has being ignorant ever been a liability for a Councilmember? In DC, it's a positive boon. I'm just surprised that none of them let slip how many dead hookers they have in their quicklime pits back home.

blittle

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:14:40 -0500

I dunno about otters. I think I would rather have our city overrun with cute lil' baby wild boars like in Germany because you can't go wrong with bacon. Mmmm. And if they get out of hand just wrap a baby around one of them and baby eating marion barry will take care of it all.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:14:26 -0500

What kind of maniac uses a machine gun on an otter? You're supposed to use shotguns.

Henry Krinkle

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:11:59 -0500

Will the gun safety training include "machine guns"? You know, like semi-automatic pistols.

OldPosterKnownAsCranky

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 09:08:48 -0500

Can I use cute otter pelts as payment in lieu of my SmartCard? And watching the Council debate the merits of proper gun training was humorous. Do any of them actually know what they're talking about? Do any of them care? They should just come out and say their goal is to prevent residents from being able to exercise their Second Amendment rights. That would make the lawsuits easier.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 07:52:53 -0500

It could be worse. At least the cops aren't doubling their kickback, protection. and hooker shakedown rates for Inauguration Day. Yet.

Hillman

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 07:38:14 -0500

Metro wants rush hour fees. It's only a matter of time before the DC Taxicab Commission demands double or triple rates for Inauguration Day.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 06:27:09 -0500

Mandatory gun training + Roosevelt Island Otters = otter pelt top hats for everyone. These things look sweet when you're cruising through Ivy City on your pennyfarthing bike and getting stabbed by "Antwayne the Ripper." Take that, Whitechapel 'hos.

cyrinaldi

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 21:47:26 -0500

i think i was an otter in a past life. but a sea otter...definitely a sea otter.

IMGoph

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:53:01 -0500

really? i'm going to have to go out there after the first of the year and hunt for the cuteness.

Phil

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:45:47 -0500

We have otters on Roosevelt Island already. No need for imports.

Wizzyliz

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:46:00 -0500

Gun safety training? Look, man. I only need to know one thing: where they are.

out_on_an_island

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 19:08:19 -0500

Five hours of gun safety training. Are there any gun ranges in the city yet? I would imagine that they are going to need some gun clubs at which to do the training. That is, assuming you actually fire the weapon during training. If not, then the training won't be very effective, will it? Proper gun safety training takes about 10 minutes, so I don't know what they're going to do with the leftover 4.5+ hours. Most important gun safety rules: 1. Treat every firearm as a loaded firearm. 2. Only aim at a target if you intend to shoot the target. 3. Wear eye and ear protection. Pretty straightforward.