DCist: Carol Schwartz Exits the D.C. Council

Deep

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:33:28 -0500

Playboy presents: The Women of DC Carol Schwartz is on the cover.

boondoggle

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 14:02:59 -0500

"This is my parting gift. Thank you very much," Schwartz said as she.. ..audibly passed wind without shame. ..pulled a mask off to reveal her true identity: Marion Berry's long presumed dead brother Tremayne. ..performed the full Redskins halftime cheerleader routine in a maroon body suit while the fight song plays on a boombox on her desk.

HCE

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:29:40 -0500

"Now if we could just get rid of Jim Graham...." ...and David "whiny crybaby douche" Catania and Marion "necro-cannibal crackhead for life" Barry

downtown rez

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 13:08:09 -0500

I hear you there, Monkey, and I agree. But it was clear that Kwame would be reelected, and once the Rs did split their vote the math became very simple. And I'll add that Brown also had many out of district supporters. Just like the board of trade favorits do.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:43:13 -0500

What would have been cool is if the headline read, "Carol Schwartz Exits the D.C. Council in Hail of Automatic Weapons Fire." I can still dream can't I? Don't let me down, Graham and Barry.

Deep

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:25:48 -0500

I wanna run but I'm no longer young, but I am a townie. I know what this city needs. It needs me. Megalomaniacal ME. I'll set this city straight. Not in a sexual way. I mean on the straight and narrow. Wait, is that another sexual term. How bout, I'll have this city rimming with delight. No..no! Just vote for me when the time comes. Oh no!

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:24:27 -0500

Here we go again. Let's just blame the Republicannibals. Michael Brown isn't "new." He's old skool racebait-and-stick-it-to-whitey. Nothing new about that. And he knows nothing about how to pleasure a panda. Brotha spends half an hour fondling a pimple and thinking it's the g spot.

downtown rez

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:15:49 -0500

"yeah, great new young councilmembers like michael a. brown." It's not that Brown is new to the scene, it's just that he was so transparently self-serving that couldn't manage to get elected until the republicans turned cannibal.

SystemError

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:07:33 -0500

Schwartz has been a fixture in District politics since the late 1970s/early 1980s ...and hasn't gotten a new hair style since.

IMGoph

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 12:00:28 -0500

yeah, great new young councilmembers like michael a. brown. fan-fucking-tastic. the blood is on your hands, monkey.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:45:11 -0500

The sooner we get fossils like Schwartz and Barry and Graham off the Council, the sooner we can get some younger councilmembers with some fresh ideas and who know a thing or two about how to have a good time with a shaved panda in a snowglobe.

OldPosterKnownAsCranky

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:32:37 -0500

And she showed her leadership by waffling on the inaugural booze bill, saying that she voted for it the first time, even though she wanted to vote against it, but decided to vote for it because everyone else was. Which is why she opposed Wells' bill because it would restrict hours, even though that's what she supports. But she's voting against it this time because everyone else is voting for it. And the Council can't say she didn't warn them about the bad aspects of this bill, because she did. Which is why she's voting against something she's for, even though she previously voted for something she's against. Got that?

IMGoph

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:30:23 -0500

she has a lot of posters up on missouri ave. too. i'll bet she comes back. she had one hiatus from the council. another is not impossible.

adamsmorgan

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:27:53 -0500

Now if we could just get rid of Jim Graham....

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:26:46 -0500

We also wouldn't be surprised if this wasn't the last D.C. has seen of her. So you would be surprised if this was the first DC has seen of her? Have I fallen through a quantum singularity of double negativism? Because I'm not not licking toads.

sirchek

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:18:08 -0500

Good, perhaps now she has time to go find a ladder and take down all her posters from the top of the lightposts on upper 16th St. ps. I need a pencil, got any Carol?

Hillman

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:17:10 -0500

Smokey McSmokerson pissed a lot of people off by fighting the smoking ban. People tend to remember that sort of thing.

monkeyrotica

Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:16:39 -0500

I can't say that I am not sad. And I can't say that I'm not unhappy her lack of non-use of double-negatives won't be unmissed.