Despite what Kyle from South Park said, it’s pretty darn good to be a Jew on Christmas. With Hanukkah underway and multiple Christmas Eve bashes to choose from, get ready for a week-long Jewish singles’ bonanza. The Matzo Ball and its myriad competitors are derided by some for their meatmarket vibe, but whether you're looking to bump into friends, find a mensch to take home for Passover, anxious to start a family, or just want to practice, there's sure to be a scene for you.

While the place to be on Monday and Saturday night is clear, no less than three Christmas Eve parties vie for your attention on Wednesday. Here’s what you need to know and where you need to go to find that special someone this Hanukkah season.

Monday, December 22

Hanukkah Happy Hour on the Hill
If there’s one night to circle for every young Jewish professional in D.C., it very well may be the night Gesher City hosts their annual Hanukkah Happy Hour on the Hill. Every young Jew you’ve ever met or will meet will likely be packed somewhere within the three floors of the Pour House tonight. It’s the perfect place to bump into that cute girl you met at Shabbat services a few weeks back or avoid your ex-boyfriend like the plague. Why not both? The HHHH is co-sponsored by a laundry list of young Jewish organizations.

Photo by Jamie Liu

Wednesday, December 24

Matzo Ball
The Matzo Ball moves to Ultrabar, a step up from the previous two years spent between Club Five, Sesto Senso, and Andalu. Creator of the Christmas Eve ball concept, The Matzo Ball bills itself as the party that is often imitated, but never duplicated. And with the weight of the Jewish Professionals Network email list behind the party, organizers boast that several thousands of young (and some maybe not so young) professionals will attend the event. Expect a younger crowd on the main floor and basement for hip hop and Top 40, with the older folks flirting to the soundtrack of retro classics in “The Bedroom” section of the club. Eww! Tickets are $25 in advance and $30 at the door. No, drinks aren’t included.

Gefilte Fish Gala
Down the street, the Gefilte Fish Gala rocks K Street Lounge. In its 15th year, this homegrown party attracted over 1,000 people in 2007. It’s a laid back alternative to the Matzo Ball, which can mean a slightly older or less intense crowd. Suggested $5 charitable donation instead of $30 at the door. Casual attire is encouraged as opposed to Matzo’s “dress to impress.” And for neighbors to the north, there will also be a Gefilte Fish Gala at Union Jack’s in Bethesda.

The Ball 2008
The Ball 2008, at Love, presents the evening’s most intriguing possibility. The host, Let My People Go, may be beating the Matzo Ball at their own game; The Ball has eclipsed the Matzo Ball as NYC’s hottest Christmas Eve party. 2008 marks The Ball’s first year in D.C., and they’ve booked a hot location. Still, it may be a bit out of the way for a clientele generally not accustomed to trekking out to New York Avenue for nightlife. There’s no local promoter, but co-sponsor JDate is getting the word out to members. And for what it’s worth, the Going Out Guru’s have slapped their editors’ pick checkmark on the event and declared it “the biggest one” of the three big parties. Let My People Go is hoping for 1,000. If it’s much less, Love is going to feel pretty cavernous Wednesday evening. This party is also $25 in advance and $30 at the door.
UPDATE: This event has been cancelled hours before it was scheduled to begin. Did they realize lack of Metro and cab access meant crowds wouldn't come. Were they afraid of the Gefilte Fish Gala? When we find out, we'll let you know.

Saturday, December 27
Club Eight on Sixth
The building that is now the Sixth & I Historic Synagogue was nearly made into a nightclub before prominent local real estate tycoons acquired and preserved the space. On December 27th, Birthright Israel NEXT and the Jewish Federation of Greater Washington, the co-sponsors of the party, promise to transform the synagogue’s basement into the swanky nightclub it might have been, recreating a Tel Aviv vibe for D.C.'s 20 and young 30-something crowd. Come early for the menorah lighting; stay until 2 a.m. for the DJ and Israeli hip-hop. Tickets are $8 in advance and only $2 more at the door, though there is a maximum capacity of 300 in the synagogue's social hall. (Full disclosure: the author is a co-chair for this event).