DCist: Hooking Up this Hanukkah?

boondoggle

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 17:30:53 -0500

Any room for a lapsed secular humanist down his luck? I promise not to utter the words 'you people' until after my sixth beer.

dank

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:25:10 -0500

To clear up any goyish confusion, the sheet has nothing to do with hannukah, but is an ultra-orthodox wedding night thing. And there is NO lovemaking during menstruation (nor until a special, cleansing bath in a mikvah for the now-unclean woman): http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Niddah

JoanArkham

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 16:00:54 -0500

I'm not Jewish or single, but that soup looks really good. Where can I find one of those?

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:48:50 -0500

God's Chosen People actually have it pretty easy in the boudoir department. For us Irish Catholics, foreplay is pretty much restricted to getting hit in the face with a sack of potatoes and then blowing up Lord Mountbatten.

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:41:38 -0500

You think that's gross, wait'll you find out where they stick the dreidl.

HCE

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:35:19 -0500

As a gentile, I find all of this fascinating, yet kinda gross. I had no idea that during Hanukkah, Jewish men make sweet love to their menstruating wives with a sheet in between them.

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 14:14:59 -0500

So, is the sheet hole doing anything saturday night? Because I've got a friend who's a single duvet. He's a doctor! Well, was a doctor. Before they found out what he was doing to the sofa cushions. But they were asking for it, those little pricktease whores. Them and their tassels.

welles

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:47:06 -0500

Happy Christmas.

loganmo

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:41:29 -0500

err meant to quote Yes, but I believe you need a sheet with a hole in it

loganmo

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:38:46 -0500

Are there any worthwhile events for Jews who aren't single? My crazy-dox sister actually has a twin bed that she sleeps in during her special time each month to help make sure that her un-cleanliness doesn't spread to her husband.

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:33:13 -0500

Activities for all ages will include fair-trade organic chocolate,... Soooo....what do they actually do with the chocolate? Because all I'm seeing is a couple of JAPs with seltzer bottles in an inflatable tub full of Fox's U-Bet syrup.

JessiePo

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:17:00 -0500

Ah yes- there is an event you're all looking for. This evening at the Josephine Butler Parks Center. Your favorite bevy of Jewish-Justice organizations are hosting GreenLight: A Sustainable Hanukah Celebration. It will be an evening of locally grown potato latkes and applesauce (kosher option available) along with other local treats, fair-trade chocolate gelt, and beeswax candles. Activities for all ages will include fair-trade organic chocolate , information on hosting a Green and Just celebration, music, a book swap* and more. *BOOK SWAP - Please bring a gently used book (from your shelf!) wrapped in eco-friendly materials (bonus points for creativity) to exchange. Please mark it if it is a children's book. Co-sponsored by: Jews United for Justice, Greater Washington Interfaith Power and Light, Teva Learning Center, Moishe House Silver Spring, Moishe House DC, AVODAH-AJWS Partnership, and the Israeli Harvest Cooperative. If you missed it last year, please visit our website for pictures. We hope to see you tonight! $8/general, $5/student & service corp, FREE for kids under 18 RSVP at adamah@shomreiadamah.org or through Facebook.

Fed

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:14:51 -0500

Thanks Mojotron, now I need to explain to my co-workers why I'm laughing uncontrollably in my quiet quiet office.

Mojotron

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 13:08:56 -0500

Are there any worthwhile events for Jews who aren't single? Yes, but I believe you need a sheet with a hole in it

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:47:46 -0500

Ever since Scholl's Colonial Cafeteria closed, the old DC Jews haven't had a place to loiter and find love over a bowl of stewed prunes and Sanka. I hate America.

chelita

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:42:28 -0500

Or not so young...

demonfafa

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 12:27:00 -0500

Are there any worthwhile events for Jews who aren't single? Didn't think so.

monkeyrotica

Mon, 22 Dec 2008 11:56:40 -0500

So do they charge extra admission for the goyim und shiksas? Otherwise, you'll find this shegetz staying at home, huffing glue, and watching Yentl.