December 22, 2008
Morning Roundup: Bluster and Blunder Edition
Good morning, Washington. We hope those of you who gleefully celebrated the winter solstice yesterday are happy with yourselves; as far as we're concerned, you are responsible for bringing the arctic airmass currently over the region, along with the sub-freezing temperatures, ice and wind chills in the teens that came along with it. This is all your fault, winter-lovers! Hang your heads in shame!
Budget Shortfalls Are Gifts That Keep on Giving: The Examiner reports that even though the latest projected budget gap for the District, a roughly $127 million shortfall for 2009 which came to light on Friday, is expected to be fairly easily managed without major cuts, the city will face even more financial woes for many more years down the line. D.C. CFO Natwar Gandhi is now projecting that the District will come up short by $304 million in 2010, $330 million in 2011 and $328 million in 2012.
EMS Probe to Investigate Death: The Washington Times got the scoop over the weekend that D.C. Fire and EMS Chief Dennis Rubin has asked the city's inspector general to investigate the death of Edward Givens, the man who instructed by paramedics to take antacids for heartburn and then died several hours later. The fire department is also investigating the incident and Rubin said they would forward their results to the Office of the Inspector General.
Briefly Noted: Woman killed on Parkway due to icy roads ... Double homicide in Dale City ... Police shoot man who stabbed woman in Takoma Park ... VRE looks to another fare increase by summer.
Photo by picture prefect

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We "winter-lovers" believe that anyone who actually welcomes DC summer, with its disgusting, sticky, code red air quality, 90+ degree days, should also shiver in shame during the one or two days of actual cold each DC winter...
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At least the tourists don't stick when it's this cold.
Actually, a few of them don't need our city's ungodly humidity to magnify their rankness. They seem to pass on that gift to our noses 365(6) days a year.
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Nice. So DC goes from a $300 million surplus to a $300 million shortfall in around three years. That's what happens when you hire budget "planners" who have to take off their shoes to count past ten.
And didn't Takoma Park declared itself a Stab-Free Zone? Can you blame them? I can barely stifle the urge to ram every car I see that's plastered in Deadhead, Free Mumia, and "Visualize Whirled Peas" bumperstickers.
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Fuggit, maybe the DC budget needs to implode. The rest of the economy is a collapsing Rube Goldberg device constructed out of debt, toilet paper tubes, and adhesive boogers. Why not government budgets as well? Nobody lives within their means anymore. At some point, "thrift" became a four-letter-word. To save money for school or a used car meant having to indulge in that other four-letter-word: "work." You lease a car and get a new one every year. You buy a house you can't afford, and the government bails you out, and the people who saved their money to buy something they could afford are getting screwed to the floor. Detroit makes $h!t cars nobody wants or needs and they get a blank check and promise to make cars that might get 30MPG by 2069. Now people are discovering this thing called "a thrift store" where you can buy perfectly good stuff AND NOT SPEND A TON OF MONEY. Our whole economy is based on debt and now it's the same for the global economy: millions of people working at jobs they don't want so they can spend money they don't have on crap they don't need.
And when the global pandemic turns the cities into zombie warzones, WTF are you going to do for sustenence? Because you can't eat your iPhone. I suppose you could eat your iPhone, but what happens when you have to take a dump? That's right, NO TOILET PAPER, but at least your goddamned Bluetooth headset still works but you can't call Peapod to have some toilet paper delivered because everyone at Giant is DEAD. And the Chuds will have taken over Wholefoods and the Morlocks will be running the smoothie bar and their smoothies suck because they only use soy milk. And try complaining to management. Zombie Customer Service will just suck your brain through your eye sockets and feed what's left to their pet barbary apes that they pit against eachother in the parking lots. But hey, real estate will be cheap! Plenty of affordable housing stock in the gutted luxury condos like The Flippington and Gentrification Towers in NoMa. But they don't take cash or credit, only barter, so you better have your stockpile of canned goods and liquid PCP and your white slavery ring, because otherwise you're screwed, and not in the good Peter North way either.
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Now all we need is some snow to go along with the cooler* temperatures (* It is not cold in my book unless the temp is in the teens)
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Amen, Joewithay. If it is going to be cold, we might as well get snow.
I haven't had a snow day in five years and I'm ready for one!
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Of course during these one or two days of actual cold we get there will be clear skies, with the deluge of precipitation to follow only after the temperatures climb fully above freezing. Someone do a snow dance. Bring on Davy DCist!
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I'm happy to see real winter weather come to DC. This area is too damn soft when it comes to cold, ice and snow.
So.... you're welcome, Sommer! ;)
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The best part about Winter in DC is that the National Weather Service will upgrade the forecast from "Winter Wonderland" to "Class 3 Killstorm," but DC Schools will STILL be open one hour late. Suck it, kids.
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Just to clarify - celebrating the Winter Solstice really means celebrating the fact that the DAYS GET LONGER from here - NOT celebrating winter itself!
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Detroit makes $h!t cars nobody wants or needs and they get a blank check and promise to make cars that might get 30MPG by 2069.
But what about the UAW being told to drop dead by those evil Senators? You must be a heartless monkey that only cares about a good economy, balanced budgets and good credit.
"Current unionized employees of Detroit auto firms have a total compensation package of approximately $80 per hour, of which $55 comes from simple cash payments (wages, overtime, and vacation pay), and about $25 of which comes from fringe benefits, like health insurance and pensions. $80 per hour amounts to four times as much as the typical American worker makes, benefits included. By comparison, nonunionized employees of Honda and Toyota have a total compensation rate of approximately $45 an hour, with most of the gap stemming from less generous benefits. Honda and Toyota are profitable companies, the big 3 are not."
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One minor correction: Toyota is no longer a profitable company.
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Toyota, number one seller in America -> Toyota's US workers make less than the big three workers -> Toyota, no longer a profitable company.
If people actually bought American cars (in America that is) perhaps the $80 hour compensation would be supported (just a chance anyway). But since people would rather rock a mauve fanny pack, with lace trim, and the word "impotent" spelled out in bedazzles, than be seen getting out of a Chevy Cobalt, there is little hope.
As for you masochists wanting colder weather. Quite a few of us love and support DC's communal winter "bitchness." We are the dreamers, and we hope for the chance that an errant flake will shut down the city and allow us to sleep in for a few hours. Since about 60% of this city is normally chained to their desks, some will do anything to get out of the regular routine, and if that means emailing your boss from your blackberry and typing a long narrative about your metro train being overturned in a snowbank- then so be it.
What sort of hyper-metabolic nuts actually want to freeze their faces off when the alternative is warmth? And why aren't you mining diamonds in Siberia then? I hear there is a lot of Rubles to be made if you don't mind the numbness. Solsitce has passed, her comes the warm jets.
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Looks like I have to get something else as an xmas gift, lace trimmed mauve fanny packs not being high on stmove's Amazon Wishlist.
Coupon book for Junkpunchers maybe? They deliver and kids always eat free.
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Here's a nice breakdown of the auto worker wages:
http://www.nytimes.com/imagepages/2008/12/10/business/20081210_LEONHARDT_GRAPHIC.html
You'll see the big difference are the legacy costs for retired workers' health and pension plan payments. For new union workers, per a 2007 UAW agreement, there's barely a difference in wages plus standard benefits (vacation, health, etc).
I'm not saying UAW can't make some changes. But $80/hr is a bit misleading.
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You'll see the big difference are the legacy costs for retired workers' health and pension plan payments.
See, that isn't "a problem," it's "an opportunity." Simply legalize garotting, roll that 401k into piano wire, and the problem takes care of itself.
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"Bluster and Blunder" edition and neither Peter Nickles nor Mary Cheh are mentioned once? There is no justice in this world, I tell you.