December 22, 2008
Revised Estimates Cut Inauguration Crowd by Half
Remember when D.C. Mayor Adrian Fenty said he was expecting 4 million people to show up for Inauguration Day, but some federal officials retorted that his number was way too high? Well today the Post reports that estimates appear to be being revised to more like 2 million -- which is still way, way more than the 400,000 or so who attended the 2005 inauguration of President Bush, but at least it doesn't quite put the fear of God into everyone. The story does a good job of keeping track of the wildly varying numbers and explaining why those numbers are all so different: most officials admit that they just don't have any models from which they can base their plans.
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THe 4 million estimate is way way too high. I think 1.5m to 2.2m is a good estimate.
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MD is planning for 1.5-3, and NPS and the SS decline to project numbers. It's obviously better to be over, rather than under, prepared. That might also help to explain some of the high numbers being bandied about.
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Will the number of Port-a-Potties be affected due to the revised estimates of inaugural visitors? Inquiring minds want to know!
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The number will be revised back up to 4 million if Oprah decides to host more shows here.
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so what they're basically saying is... no one knows.
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I will be protesting the inevitable mass transit and Port-o-let debacles by taking a cab and defecating in the backseat.
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good golly, you mean that's supposed to be a CUP HOLDER? egad!
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If the weather in mid-January is anything like it is today, we can just go ahead and revise those figures down to 4,328 people.
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If there's a better metaphor for bureaucratic ineptitutde than a backseat-driving turd, I'd like to know what it is.
Strike that. I don't want to know. That would take too much mystery out of living here.
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REVISED ESTIMATE:
213 million people expected in DC. Also, the streets will flow with the blood of the non-believers!
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The number will be revised back up to 4 million if Oprah decides to host more shows here.
A part of me wants Oprah here. Just so I can see what a large gathering of Oprahbots looks like. I'm thinking a hybrid of this and this.
Must read.
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Better metaphor #1: A blindfolded, functioning illiterate, backseat-driving turd, equipped with two navigational tools: a protractor, and a faulty GPS device.
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Why y'alls gotta hate on Oprah. Just because you never see her and Biz Markie together at the same time, it don't mean they're the same person, a'ight? Don't hate!
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So that's only 400 people per porta-potty, which is still pretty atrocious!
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I wonder if they are factoring in the fact that people are not going to be allowed to bring chairs or strollers that day either.
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Oh, pooh-pooh! Why is everyone raising such a stink about the port-o-let situation? The real question isn't "will they have enough toilets?" It's "will they have enough toilet paper?" If not, you may well find yourselves up the Ganges without an air freshener. Maybe!
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Did anyone else catch that DC paid for it's own phone and internet research of the charter bus numbers? But Secret Service has these numbers, but is not telling? Why are we having to pay to get the same info that the Feds have and why won't they at least share with the DC gov, who, you know, could be allies in this whole planning project?
maybe I misread, but it sure looks like Dan the Man is having to work hard to figure out what the SS won't tell. And yes, I think we should bill the Feds for it. Didn't we for the HSA to help aganecy cooperate in things like this?
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All attendees should eat some half-smokes and chilidogs before the Inauguration. The resulting biohazard at all Port-o-potties would mean the Mall would be declared a federal disaster area. And an Indian chief would then shed a single tear, and watch as we moved the whole town 5 miles down the road.
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1. Mount toilet seats and privacy screens at strategic points around the edges of the Tidal Basin and Reflecting Pool.
2. Wipe with a squirrel and then flush.
3. Jiggle the handle.
4. ?
5. PROFIT!
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If everyone eats at Ben's, (re: chili-smokes comment above) I'm not sure even Blue Plains will be able to cope with that "load."
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We do seem to have a bit of an obsession with public pooping. I don't think people are going to be using those port-o-potties as much as the average ist commenter seems to think. Most people avoid port-o-potties at festivals/concerts/crowning of king events as if they were the plague. I am afraid most of us just hold it in for 12 hours, or go septic and explode in a McDonald's bathroom somewhere off of 95. Besides there will be no massive beer/soda quantities involved in this, unlike most giant public spectacles- so the river of piss will be in check.
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stmove,
Or you can get a "Stadium Pal" http://www.stadiumpal.com/ and its feminine equivalent, the "Stadium Gal". http://www.biorelief.com/stadium-gal.html.
Caveat - only works for #1's.
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For #2s, I never go downtown without my "go cart."
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Hurry now! The first 100 SmarTrip card purchasers will receive as a gift to commemorate their innaugural pains, an official 2009 Innaugural I Crapped My Pants Doll®. Realistic sound and "movement." Serves hot fudge! Hours of amusement! You'll swear you've gone to hell.