December 24, 2008
Morning Roundup: Merry Christmas Chuck Brown Edition
Good morning, Washington. I think there must be something wrong with me. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy; I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel. I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents, and sending Christmas cards, and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.
Maybe it's the fact that the Washington Nationals snatched defeat from the jaws of victory when the New York Yankees signed California Angels first baseman Mark Teixeira. The ever-optimistic Washington Post opines that the Nationals find themselves in the company of many other more legitimate baseball teams who mustered the money but also failed to sign baseball's hottest property. Food for Thought says the Nats just cleared the way for Adam Dunn. D.C. Pro Sports Report says that several players, plural, would be better than the one big hitter. But for many Nats fans, an instant message to one clueless Spencer Ackerman captures the feeling in the District toward the Yankees' pickup.
Oh well. There's always the Redskins Wizards Capitals. Good grief.
Five Holdups Along Rock Creek Park in 90 Minutes: Residents of D.C.'s toniest neighborhoods were rattled by a quick succession of holdups along Rock Creek Park. Five evening holdups in Georgetown, Tenleytown, Glover Park, and Cleveland Park saw residents robbed of their personal possessions, including wallets and a Burberry scarf. Three robbers robbed pedestrians on the 3300 block of O Street NW and around the 4000 blocks of Calvert and Albemarle Streets NW off Wisconsin Ave, according to the Washington Post. Less than an hour later, two robbers mugged walkers near the 2500 block of Porter Street and the 2800 stretch of Quebec Street. In one incident, the robbers reportedly used a gun. Last-minute Christmas shopping at its worst.
Oprah Is Not Moving to D.C.: Contrary to a report in the New York Post that Oprah Winfrey is househunting in the District, she isn't, says a Winfrey flack. NBC4 says that she isn't looking to sign on a $50-million home in Georgetown. The real news here might be that someone is looking to sell a home for $50 million in this economic climate.
Briefly Noted: Ward 6 Councilman Tommy Wells joins Public Works committee . . . Tim Kaine's brother-in-law among names bandied for U.S. attorney . . . River road remains closed as crews do work.
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"Five evening holdups in Georgetown, Tenleytown, Glover Park, and Cleveland Park saw residents robbed of their personal possessions, including wallets and a Burberry scarf."
A very fashionable robber!
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Well, what do you expect? That's what happens when your neighborhood has "tone." You never got those kinds of mass robberies in neighborhoods that just have a sort of low "thud" from the Kicker basses of clowns in Escalades looking for parking spaces. Same deal with neighborhoods that have a "buzz." But if your 'hood has "tone" or is, god forbid, "vibrant," you pretty much should expect to be mugged/shanked/rock-thrown-at-your-head on a regular basis. Just wear a construction helmet, and keep a good supply of "mugging wallets" that have a fiver in them that you can toss and run, and you're golden.
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I was thinking just the opposite, that the robber had no taste. Burberry? Really? Ick.
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yes officer and they took my old navy....errr i mean burberry scarf too! along with my timex.. errr i mean tag heuer watch!
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I was thinking just the opposite, that the robber had no taste. Burberry? Really? Ick.
Seriously. Burberry is sooooo passé that it's almost reached ironic chic. Even English chavs and rich Japanese women have stopped wearing it.
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Does anyone else find it at least a little funny that Glover Park -- the great bastion of white college grads -- gets targeted?
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The Yankees had the highest payroll in the majors last season, and by a lot. And they didn't even make the playoffs. There's hope.
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Burberry??? Let's get real here. I wouldn't wear anything but Hermes, Gucci and Louis Vuitton. And believe you me, mine have a red dye pack in them that detonates with a remote.
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they haven't been the "California Angels" for over a decade now...
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Yeah, it's just hilarious when people get mugged!
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Yeah, it's just hilarious when people get mugged!
Unless, of course, you're Mika Brzezinski and accosted by an aggressive panhandler. That's serious stuff.
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Looks like the unemployed zombiez wantz some goodz.
They see you with stuff. They want your stuff.
They take your stuff. Zomiez have your stuff.
Light them torches, boyz! We're going Zombie hunting tonight. Ya-hoo!
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I wonder if it was a real Burberry scarf. The real ones are hella expensive. I have noticed that everyone downtown seems to have a fake Burberry scarf these days.
I think that in order to wear a Burberry scarf you must have actually purchased it in England.
And if you drive a BMW, you need to have picked it up in Munich.
/I'm feeling elitist today.
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I am having sushi. Mr. Miyagi prepared it for me.
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Was the mugger wearing a hat? And if so, was it Brooks Brothers?
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It's no longer the California Angels - it's the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
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Please note that WAPO make no mention of the singular fact that this these criminals were all black.
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Just think of it as karmic balance: you don't get Teixeira, yet you won't have to deal with Oprah. Some folks were robbed, sadly, but some of them were just wankers who will buy new wallets and Burberry scarves.
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It's no longer the California Angels - it's the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim
Isn't that like saying "the Montreal Expos of the Former Site of Ziegfeld's"
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Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.
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Isn't that like saying "the Montreal Expos of the Former Site of Ziegfeld's"
Whenever someone mentions the loss of our sacred grounds at Half & O, I get verklempt.
I'm just happy that Buzzard Point will now be sodomized with the new Ziegfelds/Secrets location. 1824 Half Street SW is my new church.
Bow-wow-chicky-bow-wow
I just hope Marion can find a new location to buy his nose candy.