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Morning Roundup: Black Friday Edition
Go Home Already: Make Room
Photo of the Day: November 27, 2009
We have to concur with We Love D.C.'s brownpau that the answer to Wonkette's inquiry from earlier this week about why downtown Washington "smells like dog-shit" right now is undoubtedly ginkgo fruit. The nasty little berries settle on city streets and sidewalks every autumn, though we admit that this year has seemed especially bad, with the mashed up fruit and accompanying stink lingering far longer than recent years. Brownpau plays scientician:
The seed is encased in a fleshy berry-like layer called a sarcotesta, which contains butanoic acid — a chemical found in vomit, feces, and rancid butter. (And delicious parmesan cheese!)All righty then. The only thing we'll quibble with is the specific analogy that the berries, when crushed underfoot, smell like dog feces. We've always found they had more of a vomit mixed with jizz aroma. Don't you agree?
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Def. Smells more like vomit
"vomit mixed with jizz aroma"
Saturday morning?
sommer: glad to see that someone is willing to come right out and state so plainly how they feel ginkos smell! most people dance around it, but i'll agree with you wholeheartedly. depending on the street, i've felt it's more vomit in some places, and more semen in others.
My friend calls them jizz trees. They start smelling sometime in the summer when they first start budding - it's a smell that gets inside your nostrils, almost choking you. I could imagine a weaponized, vaporized jizz bomb having the same effect.
Adams Morgan (particularly Belmont St) is still covered in them. I really wish the city would come clean them up; these things are a fucking scourge.
IMGoph Well, there are male and female Ginko trees. Maybe differences in the male/female ratio explain the variation in the aromas you have noticed.
Sorry. I couldn't come up with a "flip her over" joke here. I tried, but I'm just not good enough.
vomit. Before I knew where it was coming from, I used to think that smell, which is quite strong in parts of Georgetown, was from multiple drunks throwing up after bar closing.
Skanky jizz. Definitely.
I call them Pukeberry Trees, and the number one criteria for my house search was to be nowhere near them. That smell is horrendous.
I'm in the dogsh*t camp, but I think that dogsh*t is much easier to get rid of. The sh*tberries linger on shoes, in cars, and in houses for much longer...
Ten years in Philly -- which covered the city in all male trees thinking they'd be safe from the berries, only to later learn that ginkgos can change their sex -- honed that stench down to "shit + vomit" for me. No jizz, sorry.
A lesser-known lame thing about ginkgo berries is that they're super corrosive to boot. I parked my car under a tree once and the berries literally peeled the paint off my hood. Oh, and the smell is more like morning-after-Ben's-chili-bowl diarrhea with a hint of citrus.
My better half tells me there are sometimes people of Asian origin collecting the fruit in the park, apparently to make a concoction that is supposedly beneficial to memory.
I don't have any memories I want badly enough to compel me to ingest something made of that.
The chinatown ladies come out every year with their plastic grocey bags to harvest the funky ginko. Seems like 1 part doodie, 2 parts puke to me. Back in the day I had a girlfriend who would puke all the way down Corcoran street til we got to the Safeway every time the stinkos had dropped their nasty load.
I smelled this crap the other morning on my walk-o-shame home from 17th St to Thomas Circle. I'm glad to know the stench was from this magical sex-changing berry, and not residual, um, funk, from my previous night's, um, rendezvous.
Yeah, Adams Morgan definitely gets the double bonus; the vomit-fruit on top of the actual vomit.
@300 sq ft: Gross.
I checked my shoes after walking by one of these last night. Definitely dog-shit.
"We've always found they had more of a vomit mixed with jizz aroma."
That is an aroma cocktail I am pleased to report never having encountered, on a Saturday morning or any other time...
It's actually more of a rotting meat+dog shit kinda smell. And the male trees don't fruit.
I've taken to calling them Poo Berries myself...
My house is surrounded by them... and I'll never get used to it. It's especially bad when they first explode on contact...
Nothing like the smell of fresh Poo Berry explosions in the morning soldier.
How is it that everyone here is so familiar with the smell of jizz?
"How is it that everyone here is so familiar with the smell of jizz?"
Not to mention, a jizz odor strong enough to be discernable amidst the stench of vomit ... i.e., that's a lot of jizz.
(ok, reaching a new low here....)
they smell like the bathrooms at tom tom in adams morgan...a very special combo of vomit, jizz, poop and general nastiness.
gag me now.
I always thought it was cat piss, personally.
Did someone say jizz? mmm
When I head over to the Soviet Safeway for wine, frozen dinners, and laxatives, I must endure the trek down gingko-infested Corcoran Street.
I end up checking the bottom of my shoes at least 5 times. I'm always afraid the smell is a gift from one of the neighborhood bitches (and their dogs) that never got scooped up.
Remember kids, scoop da poop.
To the DC government, I beg you: cut down those goddamn trees.
and, scene
I've said it before (I think on P of P) and I'll say it again - puke, definitely puke.
The stench changes from day to day... sometimes poop, sometimes, vomit, sometimes both. My street's covered in the berries, and it's been stinking up the area for like 2 months now. And no matter how hard ya wipe your feet, that shit sticks to your shoes and permeates the house.
Actually, the fruit from the female ginkgo tree is easily prevented. Any of a number of different chemical treatments will keep the trees from producing the fruit:
http://www.arborsystems.com/chemicals_pinscher.html
The DC government is supposed to inject the trees each season, as many other municipalities do routinely. But, through a combination of incompetence and resistance from local urban eco-freaks, DC usually neglects to do it. The result sums up a lot about our city: narcissistic lefties and idiotic bureaucrats join forces to make the District smell like ass.
Have a look -- the ludicrous DC Urban Forestry Administration even has a site advertising their ineptitude:
http://ufa.ddot.dc.gov/ufa/cwp/view,a,1292,q,575305.asp
Pull my finger.
pull my jizzer.
I KNEW there was a reason I hate the smell of parmesan cheese. Thanks, DCist!
parmesan jizz?
I lean towards dogsh*t drenched in spoiled milk, but I'm willing to admit that there are some strong hints of vomit.
This year has been the worst year by far for ginkgos. Normally it's just a few weeks in late October early November then it's over. This year it is still going strong in mid December. I have ginkgos in my neighborhood whose branches are literally stooped over under the weight of all the stinko berries still on the tree.
I remember in the past they would spray stuff, but I haven't seen any signs warning about that in a few years. Obviously we need to revisit that decision.
I feel bad for the tourists that stay in front of Hotel George. There are two huge and nondiscriminatory ginkgo trees in front of that hotel that you can smell for blocks.
Jizz and Vomit? Sounds like Jim Graham's typical Saturday night
That DC webpage about replacing ginkgos is ridiculous. For one thing, at least on my block, cutting down one gingko would be like spitting at the rain. For another, why the hell are they proposing to plant more ginkgos?! Didn't they learn their lesson? There's a good chance the tree will eventually become female. Plus, gingkos aren't really that nice of a tree. The leaf shape is nice and all, but it doesn't create much of a canopy or shade.
They should replace the gingkos with the new DED-resistant American Elms.
I opened a window, the breeze blew in and I..
When Bruce Willis died at the end of Sixth Sense I..
I ate a grape and I..
Walking in front of Cap City near Union Station, I wish there were these trees to explain the smell...
i knew i shouldn't read these comments just after breakfast. blech.
of which, we had a whole slew of 'cum trees' in college. (but they weren't ginkos.) every spring, it smelled like one of the frats were airing out their basement. nasty!
I've been lurking in this blog for quite a while, and while I really enjoy DCist and many times I felt compelled to comment, I was always too lazy to register. Well, now finally a post that I feel too strong about to stay silent!
I hate HATE those nasty trees! They totally and absolutely smell like puke, freshly-just-vomited puke too. Who had the clever idea of putting them all over the city? Is that poor city planning or WHAT?! Do they want to make us all sick? Why the torture? Why isn’t anyone chopping them down?
Thank you DCist for making it possible for me to vent in public about something I’ve been complaining about for-like-ever!
I vote for puke, with notes of dogshit and spoiled milk. Which, checking the comment thread, is pretty much what Reid said, only in different proportions.
parmesan jizz?
Take the ginko tree challenge. Imagine a big bowl of ziti and parmesian. Now imagine someone banging the $h!t out of that bowl of ziti. Now, imagine ramming that ziti up your a$$, evacuate yourself, and then "recycle" the leftovers. Vomit. Place next to ginko tree and close your eyes. I defy you to tell the difference.
Ah, nothing like complaining about the smell of jizz/shit/vomit berries to bring a community together.
What we need is some good crusty french bread to sop up the juices. A little red wine or some honey
flavored whiskey. Bon appetite everyone.
We can all thank André Michaux for the scourge of the dog shit smell from the ginko tree's our fair city must endure, he is the french jack ass that introduced the tree's to America and the DC region back in the 1780's.
Cumberland Street between Connecticut Ave and Nebraska Ave has got to be the worst. I'd feel sorry for the homeowners there if it wasn't for their houses tripling in value in ten years
Cherchez la frog. Where's this Michaux guy buried. I want to piss on his grave.
Cue Shitberries Demo by Three.
They really call those things fruit?
Ginko Berries simple to explain: Shit which someone saw, and then threw up on, after which a fecalfeliac noticed and jizzed on. At least Ginkos are absolutely beautiful when not stinking the world to hell.
I submit the Simaroubaceae Ailanthus altissima otherwise know as "Tree of Heaven" (irony) or "Stinking Sumac" There was one in a neighbors yard, which I for years would try to kill in the middle of the night. It permeated the block with the smell of a cat pissing into your notrils, it's "flowers" would then rot and smell like the devils anus, and to top it off this tree monster actually produces poison (ailanthene) in it's bark and roots which kills other trees around it. Ginkos are our friends compared to these monsters. Their aren't many though, because the city will come out and destroy them on sight.
We've always found they had more of a vomit mixed with jizz aroma.
Sounds like someone needs to work on their technique.
With some of these descriptions, I think you all missed your calling as restaurant reviewers in hell.
I had never run into one of these trees before until I saw them mentioned in a Photo of the Day here on DCist, so I sort of blame all of you for calling them into existence in my world. Eew.
So sad that they took Ginko Sorbet off the dessert menu at Junkpuncher's. And yet people are lining up for their Welsh Limburger Rarebit. Damn you, Board of Health!
They smell EXACTLY like the city of Philadelphia
It's a cheese! It's a fruit! It's 2 taste treats in
1!
They smell EXACTLY like the city of Philadelphia
YES! I'm glad someone else thinks that hellhole smells like cum/puke/doggie doodoo
DC's official tree, right?
DC: America's Voteless Goatse.
that's it. i'm laughing to damn loud the whole office wants to know what it is...
Barf Paint.
The "cum" trees are different from the ginko trees. We have lots of fragrant trees here in DC. The ginkos only smell when the berries drop, and they smell like baby shit: sour and milky. God, I'm gagging just now.
Yeah, why aren't they spraying to kill the berries anymore? The trees with the yellow dots spray painted on them are the females.
"vomit mixed with jizz aroma" FTW.
Incidentally, the second I read this I immediately thought "I smell sex and candy."
(Yes, I know I'm a little late to the party on this one.)
i thought that was the smell of fertilizer...heh
God I hate these trees. First in DC, then all over the entire center city and west philly parts of Philadelphia, now DC again. It smells like shit that was puked out of a dying animal. What's worst is how they get smashed and then just sit on streets and sidewalks, making passerby stifle their own vomit which would, in all likelihood, improve the smell around them.
We had these trees at my undergrad college....the smashed fruit sticks all over the bottoms of your shoes so you end up dragging it into your apartment. It definitely smells like bad vomit more than anything else.
Occasionally I park too close to these trees. After driving 15 miles to work in the morning, my car still stinks inside and out.
clearly missed the boat on this post. but YES--agreed--dog poo+vom! swann street is one of the worst offenders. i used to track this literal--sh*t--in all over the carpet. ughhhh.
when i lived on swann, and was clearly disturbed by this tree, i remember reading something about how the female ones are the only ones that produce the fruit but you can't tell which is male and female until 15-20 years after it's been planted, and also, coincidentally, firmly rooted in the ground. interestingly though, they are really pollution resistant--and really old--like hundreds of millions of years, evolutionarily unchanged.
lol--from the Post:
They injected more than 1,000 ginkgo biloba trees with a chemical to stop them from producing the fruit. Whoops. The chemical didn't work, for reasons that scientists still don't understand.