Go Home Already: Shouts and Murmurs
Man Stops Traffic at 17th and K to Demand $200 Million
Morning Roundup: Goodbye, Abe Edition
Judge Throws Out WTU Suit Over Teacher Layoffs
Vegetate to Close at the End of the Month
- The U.S. Senate today confirmed Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State, adding to the list of those confirmed to the cabinet within a single day of President Obama's inauguration. Immediately after the Congressional Luncheon on Tuesday, the Senate approved Steven Chu as Energy Secretary, Arne Duncan at Education, Janet Napolitano for Homeland Scurity, Eric Shinseki for Veterans Affairs, Ken Salazar for Interior, and Tom Vilsack at the Department of Agriculture.
- Big news in the local business world, via Washington Business Journal: Hilton Hotels Corp. will move its headquarters from Beverly Hills, Calif., to the D.C. metro area.
- City Desk reports that folks who shelled out hundreds of dollars to attend one of two abruptly canceled American Music Inaugural Balls are afraid they've been ripped off — by Dionne Warwick.
- Things to be thankful for: you didn't have to go to the airport today.
- Union Station was briefly evacuated today after a fryer in the station's McDonald's restaurant overheated and set off an automatic fire extinguisher.
- The DNC formally elected Virginia Gov. Tim Kaine as chairman today.
- The AP reports a lot of tears flowed when the Obamas opened the White House to visitors today.
- Intangible Arts has a nice report on his walkabout around town yesterday.
- Prince of Petworth gets back to basics and gets excited about a new coffee shop coming to Petworth.
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Great. As if we didn't have enough VD in this town, we're going to get Paris Hilton as a permanent fixture. My penis is already spitting fire at the thought. Anyone now a good source for asbestos prophylactics? I'll need at least three.
If you can't find an asbestos condom, try dipping your wick in some milk before spending a night w/Paris, Monkey.
The more you know!
Urban legends certainly do die hard. Binding your junk in milk, wax, ethelene glycol, or Saran Wrap will not prevent the levels of toxic herpes we're talking about here. Because by the second day of incubation, any cells that have undergone reversion mutations give rise to revertant colonies like rats leaving a sinking ship. Then the ship sinks. And we've already tried EMS recombination. Ethyl methane sulfonate as an alkylating agent, a potent mutagen. It created a virus so lethal the subject was dead before he left the table.
I mean, we're talking about Paris Hilton here. How can it not know what it is?
So between the landmark designation and the headquarters move, the urban landscape disaster that is the Hinckley Hilton will never EVER get torn down. Bummer.
And what else did we learn today, kids? Why, that DCist fell for one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia but only slightly less well known is this: don't take a political shot when commenters'ire-at-having-waited-for-hours-with-no- information-in-freezing-weather is on the line! It was truly commentpocalypse!
I got the following E-mail this morning:
=SENATOR FEINSTEIN STATEMENT ON INCIDENTS AT 56TH PRESIDENTIAL INAUGURAL CEREMONY=
Washington, DC—U.S. Senator Dianne Feinstein (D-Calif.), chairman of the Joint Congressional Committee on Inaugural Ceremonies, today issued the following statement in response to reports of incidents which prevented a large number of ticketholders from reaching their designated areas at the 56th Presidential Inaugural Ceremony:
Following is Senator Feinstein’s statement:
“I have just spoken with Mark Sullivan, Director of the Secret Service, and I have asked him to convene along with the U.S. Capitol Police, all law enforcement and other parties involved in planning for this Inaugural to conduct a prompt investigation into two serious incidents that have been reported. These reports have prompted great concern by members of the Inaugural Committee, including Senator Bob Bennett, and by Congress in general.
The specific incidents include the report that a decision was made to cut off access to Purple and Blue standing areas, which meant that a large number of ticketholders could not reach their designated areas.
I am also aware of the incident involving the 3rd Street Tunnel, where thousands of people were stuck for several hours and apparently without any law enforcement presence.
There may have also been other irregularities, but I have heard enough to know that something went wrong and we need to find out what happened. Mr. Sullivan has indicated that he will provide a full report.
I would encourage people who have direct information about these incidents to contact the Secret Service, in addition to contacting the Joint Congressional Committee for Inaugural Ceremonies at feedback@jccic.senate.gov”
That picture pretty much sums up what DC is to most of America. I feel really sorry for the Port-o-let that had to handle all that hot pee and buttcoffee. There really needs to be a DC memorial to the Unknown Mall Toilet. We could name it in honor of the Senator that's taken the biggest dump on DC, Mary Landrieu who, I might add, has always been known as something of a "potty hog." Hint: a little Fiber One will clear that right up.
Barack leading us forward, Dionne Warwick holding us back - when hasn't this been true?
i just took a good look at this picture, and i realized that you coffee drinkers are going to be the reason why we have to abandon this planet in the future.
Waddaya mean "you coffee drinkers?" F**k do you drink in the morning, pal? Postum? Or maybe you're one of these chai latté sipping, eco-fetishists? Well, guess what? That "organically-bleached hemp teabag" you're steeping your $38 "cruelty-free free trade green tea" in cost thousands of migrant tea pickers their lives, slaving under sweatshop conditions! So with every sip, you're suffocating another child tea picker who's forced to live in squalor in teapicker concentration camps, and destroying another bamboo forest that Sim-Sim the Panda will never get to breed in.
NO BLOOD FOR TEA! NO BLOOD FOR TEA!
water.
back to your cage now, sir.
Dear DC,
Thanks for throwing such a great party, sorry we trashed your place.
Love,
Your Recently Departed Visitors