Go Home Already: Shouts and Murmurs
Man Stops Traffic at 17th and K to Demand $200 Million
Compromise Uncertain on Same-Sex Marriage Law
Fire at 17th and L NW Forces Evacuations
Judge Throws Out WTU Suit Over Teacher Layoffs
This week's Overheard in D.C. is a little different—there's a contest! What you do is read all the other overheards, then at the last one, finish the sentence (and add 'em in the comments). The winner gets their answer posted on next week's Overheard, surely the highest honor we can imagine. Money or free stuff is for suckers.
But first, here's a way not to get good customer service. Honestly, is that the first thing that comes to mind?
Overheard of the Week:
Before Christmas at a gate at National Airport
An exasperated woman is on her cell phone: "No, let me read you my confirmation number ONE MORE TIME: it's 'a' as in 'apple' then 'k' as in 'Ku Klux Klan.'"
After the jump, weird train operators, dumb questions, and the 51st state (not the bar).
Keep your fellow readers amused by sending your overheards to overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
Photo by LaTur
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I also wonder if the Pope is Catholic
At the top of the Dupont Metro's north entrance:
Tourist guy to other tourists: "I wonder if they have Starbucks in Georgetown?"
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The reason you can't see in the conductor rooms on the train: bongs.
On a Grovesnor Grosvenor-bound train at Metro Center:
Train operator: "The middle door of the third car of this train will not take you to a magical fantasyland where you meet Denzel Washington. It will merely take you to Grovesnor, like every other door on this train."
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Let's hope not.
Sunday night at Whole Foods
On a cell phone: "After I dropped his monogrammed towel in the toilet with my puke on it, I mean, did he really want me to stay at that point?!"
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Awww, condoning violence is so cute
Monday Morning at a Dupont Circle Starbucks:
A 30-something mother is keeping her precocious child up to date on current events.
Mother: "It says here that President Bush was giving a news conference and one of the reporters threw his shoes at the President."
Child: "I like that reporter!"
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They wish
On a Yellow line train leaving Pentagon City, going toward the Pentagon:
Train Conductor: "The next stop is Pentagon station, Pentagon is the last stop in the Commonwealth State of Northern Virginia..."
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And now, contest time! Finish this sentence!
1 p.m. on New Year's Day on Mass Ave:
Four early 20-somethings are staggering down the street.
"Yeah, well the first time I ever used my machete was when...."
The best answers will be in the next Overheard in D.C.!
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I decided to give myself "the Rachel".
Someone threw up on my monogrammed towels.
I cut the brains out of the secret service managers. They then decided shutting down 66, 395, GW Pkwy, and all Potomac River bridge crossing ALL FUCKING DAY for the Inauguration was a brilliant idea.
I went up the Nung River to collect on a bill for some grocery clerks.
On the river, I thought that the minute I looked at him, I'd know what to do, but it didn't happen. I was in there with him for days, not under guard - I was free - but he knew I wasn't going anywhere. He knew more about what I was going to do than I did. If the generals back in Nha Trang could see what I saw, would they still want me to kill him?
More than ever probably. And what would his people back home want if they ever learned just how far from them he'd really gone? He broke from them and then he broke from himself. I'd never seen a man so broken up and ripped apart.
They made me a major for it and I wasn't even in their f*cking army any more. Everybody wanted me to do it, him most of all. I felt like he was up there, waiting for me to take the pain away. He just wanted to go out like a soldier, standing up, not like some poor, wasted, rag-assed renegade. Even the jungle wanted him dead, and that's who he really took his orders from anyway.
The horror. The horror.
...I went shopping at Wheaton Plaza."
One of these days people around here might learn to spell "Grosvenor."
I gave monkey a "brazilian".
First and last time...once you use a machete for something like that, it must be destroyed.
...dcist started outsourcing the work to us, instead of finishing it themselves.
Everyone stop - I award this round to IMGoph.
Henry Krinkle is a close runner up although taking a machete to Wheaton Plaza is, to borrow a saying, akin to taking a knife to a gunfight...
...we lived above a...how do you call it...convenience store? I mean it like it is, and how it sounds! I too was touched by the devilish one--tattoo on the left shoulder. Ah, but when I saw the face of God, I was changed! I took the entire arm off. My name is Mike... HIS name is "BOB."
...I was trekking through the Brazilian rain forest. It was pretty awesome. Let's stop in this Starbucks and whistle at chicks. Hey, do you guys know where I can get a new polo with a collar I can pop up?
[Guy 2 guy, stops, knees Guy 1 in the junk, and Guy 1 collapses to the ground, writhing in pain.]
Guy 2: Where's your machete now, bitch?
...I saw a family wearing Snuggies and Crocs at a football game.
as good a reason for a machete as any...lmao
...wait you still own a machete? That's soooo 2008.
...my boss told me I just couldn't hack it. I sure showed him!
"was to surgically remove 'Campbell Brown, No Bias. No Bull. Weeknights at 8pm on CNN' from the cold dead Masthead of dcist."
"...I started performing brises on a freelance basis."
"... I used it to cut through red tape."
Yeah, well the first time I ever used my machete was when that sonofabitch Metro bus driver refused to take my paper transfer.
...I decided to go to a Wal-Mart in Northern Virginia on a Saturday.
...I got circumcised.
...I hacked my way through a contrived "Overheard" submission.
..the mohel was late to the Bris.
...was when I found out that I could only afford half a can of cat food.
I decided to take 295 thru DC, instead of going around via the Beltway.
... my wife bought that Slanket.