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Just in case you hadn't yet checked out Prince of Petworth this morning, we feel it is our editorial obligation to point out that the prince has penned a brief profile, complete with photo, of resident commenter and enfant terrible Monkeyrotica. Having met Monkey and his lovely wife before, nothing much in the article was a surprise to DCist — apart from the fact that he appears to be wearing jeans, and not leather pants, with his signature Hawaiian shirt. Now don't get us wrong, we love us some Monkey more than anyone, but we couldn't help thinking while reading the piece that this sort of public ego-stroking only serves to encourage him. We'll admit that the phrase "don't feed the animals" ran through our minds more than once. Then again, if this sort of exposure ends up producing one of the funniest, foulest, most expletive-laden comment threads DCist has even seen, who are we to question. So congrats on your moment in the sun, Monkey. This post is cursed. Maybe!
Monkeyrotica: The Man Behind the Cock Jokes
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fuck! (you ask for expletives, you get expletives)
Yep, Comic Book Guy's long lost cousin - about what I expected.
Wow, didn't know that Monkey's wife is Sara Palin's younger, hotter, sister. Nice catch!
Ugh, my mom said that too. Thanks. (signed, Connie a.k.a. Nylonthread)
What!? That's the only pic? What about shots of monkeys, chaps, monkeys in chaps?
so does this mean PoP is going to add "commenter of the day" to his doors, houses, and other "of the day" posts?
Wow, you've got a real fan in that "Matt" guy on PoP, Monkey! Set your poop trebuchet on "stun", I say.
(The picture looks like a lovely family on their way to Junkpunchers.)
The opposite of love isn't hate. It's indifference. I only hope "Matt" can find it in his heart to love me as much as Christ, who died for his sins, loves him. For there is only one path to heaven and it is through our Savior, Christ the Lord.
Peace,
+++JMJ+++
Cute kids, hot wife, ugly monkey. At least he didn't throw his poop at the camera.
Cute kids, hot wife, ugly monkey.
I think you just wrote our epitaph, Mr. Spock.
This is just weirdly meta.
I, for one, welcome our new monkey overlords.
I demand to know where he gets his wonderful shirts from!
Value Village. I also slip roofies in frat boys' drinks and steal their clothes.
I was wondering what happened to my shirt from the last party - last time I drink any thing called an AzzHurtz...
"There's only two kinds of guys who wear those shirts: Gay guys, and big, fat party animals." - Homer J. Simpson
Jealous!!!
The Monkey speaks his mind.
yeah that's about right
Hey! Wait a minute! I'm DC's 47th most prolific blog commenter. Where's my feature piece?! :(
I can think of at least three people I know who have a sense of humor and an intelligence level that would fit the profile of Monkey. . .
He is none of them. I'm a little disappointed.
I love the family pic -- were you all on a family outing to Junkpunchers?
And I was a featured interview in Decrepit Socialite magazine's holiday issue and I didn't get a shout out. Haters.
Junkpunchers was closed. Something about the Board of Health and condemning the place for hiring illegal immigrant monkey waiters with ebola. So we had to settle for Duffy's. Their monkey waiters only have the clap, but they're great at dancing reels and playing the pennywhistle and talking about "the old country." Just make sure you ignore the "Kiss me, I'm Irish" teeshirts.
His facebook profile is also cursed.
Seriously though, I thought about trying to 'friend' him over the weekend and I got all giddy and starstruck, like an 8 year old girl meeting Hannah Montana. Or a 42 year old man, meeting Hannah Montana.
OMG! U WILL LOL WHEN I POKE U! SRSLY.
I feel like I'm in the Wizard of Oz when the curtain falls and we see the Wizard's true identity.
However, I think the wizard is a better dresser...
Thank you for calling monkeyrotica dot com! An army of flying monkeys is rushing a complimentary gift basket of poison to your door!
since the trek back north, i have determined that phillyist pales in comparison to dcist.
partially, i think, because of the lack of monkeyrotica. do you have any cousins up here?
Phillyist sucks so bad I had to move back to philly.
er.... DC.
I gotta stop drinking.
Should I be reading the headline as "The Man Behind the Cock Jokes," or "The Man Behind the Cock, Jokes."?
The last time I wore a Hawaiian shirt was like 2- no 3... weeks ago?
fuck that's sad...
he reminds me of nick cho or david chang (momofuku in nyc but from VA). both are kind of...well you guys know already.
I found out tonight that Monkey was an English major at umd in the late 80s-early 90s. So was I! I wonder if we ever had any classes together.
If you've learned anything from this thread, it's that I have no class.
I was pretty easy to pick out in Dr. Dungey's "Benito Cereno" class. I was the one who relentlessly steered the discussion back to Melville's use of flatulence as a leitmotif.
Now that we see monkeyrotica is a pretty normal guy in real life, it occurs to me that those of you who come across as normal on here are the ones who are fucking freaks at home!
With that line of thought, I can only imagine what Bethesdaist has in her basement. Shudder. Maybe we should call the cops to go to her house. I just bet she has some hot, naive midwestern coeds tied up down there. The ol' gal has gotta learn to share.
I keep picturing Connie and Raymond Marble's house from Pink Flamingos.
I keep a few spare Cabana Boys stashed away for snow emergencies, but maybe I could rent them out like Zipcar. Caring is sharing!
Dixie, is that you?
I am extremely appreciative that the comments from one government employee with a “really boring job with a lot of downtime” (monkeyrotica) keep a government employee with a mind-numbingly boring job (cease and dcist) entertained during the day.
When not reading comments on DCist, I daydream about the awesome shit this country could do if the talents of people like monkeyrotica weren't wasted in the basement of the ministry of plenty on updating sewage trebuchet depreciation tables. Maybe.
How did they manage to get a photo of him with pants on?
Oh wait, you can do anything with PhotoShop.