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Overheard in D.C.: Love is in the Air

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That beloved or hated holiday is almost upon us, the one where the saint got his head chopped off, thus leading to chocolates and flowers. There are other V-Day traditions too, like overpriced meals, elementary school cards, those chalky heart candies, awkward present-giving, and grumpy singles. But maybe there's one less spoken about.


Overheard of the Week

Outside Bourbon in Glover Park on Tuesday night around 10:30:

Three guys are walking down the sidewalk.

One guy to the others: “Valentine’s Day is coming up, and all the guys are trimming their pubes before their girlfriends arrive.”

The other two guys are silent.


After the jump, dumb college students, dumb Hill staffers, and other dumb stuff.

Hear any good stuff at your Val Day outings, or elsewhere in town? Let us know, overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com

Photo by christaki


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What, are you a human yin-yang?

On the Red line to Glenmont:

High school girl #1: "Who would you rather be, Dick Cheney or Al Gore?"
High school girl #2: "I wanna be Cheney. He shot someone in the face and got away with it!"
High school girl #1: "I wanna be Cheney, too. But I also wanna be Al Gore."

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Current events!

At Safeway:

A 20-something boyfriend playfully bats his girlfriend with a Valentine's Day balloon

Girlfriend: "Stop it, Chris Brown."

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Ah, college. Where people go to become stupid.

On the Blue line to Franconia-Springfield:

Conductor: "Next stop: Arlington Cemetery."

Three college-age girls, standing next to a 50-something Army guy in fatigues: "It stops at a cemetery? How depressing!"

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Is the rodeo in town?

2 p.m. at the Starbucks at 15th & K:

Two young professional men are standing outside chatting.

"It's like you just realize, you know, that I am just, like, riding a retarded donkey...."

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And you would tell people this because...

On Irving Street Monday night:

Two young men in gym clothes are walking west on Irving.

One says to the other: "I am looser than a whore during fleet week!"

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Ladies and gentlemen, your Congress

At Bedrock Billiards in Adams Morgan:

Two Hill staffers are talking about their congressmen and playing Connect Four.

Staffer 1: "How many do we have to get in a row? 5?"
Staffer 2: "I don't know, read the box."

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More edifying: Garfield books.

Cleveland Park during the afternoon:

Homeless man: "Can you help me with some change?"
Guy: "Help you? No."
Another guy walking behind him: "You don't have to be a dick about it."
Guy: "You need to read more Ayn Rand. "

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Money: safer than silicone.

In the coat check line at the 9:30 Club:

College-age girl 1: "I hate the way money smells."
College-age girl 2: "I love the way money smells! Crisp $100 bills?! MMM!"
College-age girl 1: [hands her friend a bill] "Smell this shit."
College-age girl 2: "Ew! Cuz that was in your boob!"

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Awwww yeah

On 7th Street near the Verizon Center:

Guy talking on his cellphone: "OK, keep doing squat thrusts until I get there..."

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And finally, important questions

In a downtown office building:

Two 30-something men in suits are getting onto an elevator.

Guy #1: "Van Der Beek is the backup quarterback, and Paul Walker is the starter."
Guy #2: "Oh."

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