Six More Weeks of Winter

2009_0202_groundhog.jpg
AP Photo/Carolyn Kaster

So says Punxsutawney Phil, who is looking pretty freaked out about being hoisted over his handler's head earlier this morning. Aside from breaking the bad weather news, Phil was apparently pretty happy with the Steelers' victory over the Arizona Cardinals last night. Or else he just wanted to be left alone and burrow back into his hole without being blamed, once again, for the continuation of a long, cold winter.

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I agree. Char-broiled with a little au jus....mmmmmm. I think Jamie Liu's next food posting should contain recipes for chien de la masse.

He needs to spike that field goal. It's the only way to properly tenderize groundhog.

A groudhog that juicy really calls for some turducken action, where you stuff a chipmunk into a squirrel into a groundhog. Season with Old Bay, wrap the whole thing in bacon, then call your doctor. It's pretty much a standard Kentucky Burgoo, except served in a big hairy bag with teeth.

That's not bad for a quadriped. Don't forget to check your mirrors...just side of your eye, side of your eye. No, no, don't drive angry!

Poor Carolyn Kastor. Three months ago she was shooting Election Night in Chicago, and now she's reduced to this.

The groundhog handler looks a lot like the guy that opens the gate for Dorothy & Co. in the Wizard of Oz. I guess that guy goes around terrorizing cute woodland creatures now.

based on the picture, i cant possibly imagine why "phil" would have been inclined to run into a hole and hide.

Why is this still given coverage?

In other news, a witchdoctor has cured cancer by rubbing the patients belly with monkey innards and diet pepsi while chanting the lyrics to Van Halen's 1984 hit 'Hot for Teacher'

Nonsense! The patient didn't have cancer. His colon had cancer. There's a difference. Also, it was "Dance the Night Away." "Hot for Teacher" causes priapic embolisms. Or, at least, the video does.

If some top-hat-wearing-mustache-toting-limelight-loving-fool stuck his hand up my ass I'd go underground for six more weeks too.

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