What's That You Say?
That's right folks, we're back and here to stay, with our new slot on Saturday. It's been quite some time since we last talked, but hey, what's a few months between friends? (Hey, you clamor, we listen.) With that out of the way, sit back, grab your second (or, if you're like us, third) cup of joe and enjoy the best of the week that was amongst the DCist commentariat.
This week's Comment of the Week goes to Politburo, who delivered a seemingly appropriate response to Sen. Jim DeMint's slightly offensive comments about D.C. public schools -- regardless of who or what he based them on:
Even if he was quoting a district woman, Sen. DeMint should be aware that the plural of anecdote is not data.
After the jump, we've got vociferous debates over guns, jokes about hot chocolate at Murky, and the always uncut, always uncensored mind of Monkeyrotica. Ah, some things just never change.
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Glad to see that we're still having that whole gun debate thing. (Oh, and how our manners have improved!)
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Obviously, mrfochs considers celebrity chef Bobby Flay a villainious combination of Beetlejuice, Candyman, and Jack Torrance. Fair enough.
No you have to say his name backwards three times to send Flay back to the alter universe he came from, not insult his cooking style.
YALF YBBOB
YALF YBBOB
YALF YBBOB
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By the way, we're expecting a whole bunch of you to show up with "Swiss Chocolate" -- letter by letter -- painted across your chest on Monday.
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Plenty of reaction to last Monday's snow this week. But, rabo k, the snow is breaking!
i love watching local news when it snows around here.
yesterday on channel 4 they kept going LIVE to one of their 'reporters' who was 'reporting' on the snow outside of the NBC studio. she'd stick an infrared thermometer in the snow to get the temp, she'd pick up some snow to show that it wasn't packing well, etc.
i kept thinking... what are they doing in congress today?
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What to name the Zoo's new baby gorilla? The zoo seems stuck on an African name starting with a K, but leave it to DCist commenters to make better suggestions.
Wizzyliz likes sticking with the K, at least:
I kinda' like Kielbasa, but that's Polish.
Uh, there's only one, ClevelandRocks, but good effort:
I would name one Battlestar and the other Galactica.
Sure, loganmo, while we're at it, lets just paint it black and white and stick some bamboo in its mouth:
Since some are probably still bitter about the panda, let's call it "Butterstick."
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Reactions to the new Screech? Uh, mixed, at best.
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Is it wrong to use an umbrella in the snow? (Hint: yes.)
On another note, it's good to see that Bethesdaist is still sticking to the classics:
I would expect that a gun-totin' barista to work at Murky Coffee, in case anyone has the audacity to ask for an iced espresso, or asked questions about the "no questions" $5 hot chocolate: "I said no questions! - ::BLAM::"
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I'm sorry, Sponge, we're still getting the official What's That You Say? snare and high-hat back from storage, so this automated rimshot will have to do:
A frightened deer can be quite violent. They are not only capable of ransacking Greek restaurants, but I've heard about incidents where they have, when threatened, conducted extensive racketeering operations.
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Most of you thought that DDOT probably should have more pressing concerns than enforcing street signage regulations.
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Yeah, really, who needs Angelina Jolie? We can do our own elaborate chase scenes. Right, sordid?
I thought there was a bus accident this morning, so I pulled a Jack Bauer u-turn on 7th, went to 12th which was backed up b/c of overflow and two delivery trucks and busses blocking lanes, went down Penn to make a left on 7 to bypass "the bus accident" saw paparrazi and lots of film cameras. I could see my office but couldn't move. Busted another Bauer u-turn, finally get to my office and traffic is jacked and can't turn into the garage, go to the end of the street, normal u-turn this time, followed by Jack Bauer move #3 driving on the sidewalk a half block to get into the garage. Fuck Hollywood! I made my own action movie this morning.
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Say whatever you want about D.C., but you'd have a hard time arguing that we're lacking places to get some tasty mac and cheese.
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Ahh, I missed this: in this week's return of The Magical World of Monkeyrotica, uh, with a comment on the current of racism behind proposed bans on cheap food, drinks, and smokes, I think:
Kudos to the National Park Service for finally reading my letters recommending they replace the Reflecting Pool with a giant bidet.
And did anyone read about how "the man" decided he's gonna ban methol cigarettes and pina colada blunts? Definitely nothing racist about that. Because we all know WHITE PEOPLE are the biggest consumers of Kools and Chocolate White Owls. That old dude with the top hat on the Monopoly box who's always raiding the community chest and getting his honkey ass thrown in jail? You know what he's been smoking, and it sure a hell ain't clove cigarettes. Ever notice you never see him and Mr. Peanut® in the same room together? Because they're the SAME CREEPY MUTHAF**KER. Why the hell can't they ban them nasty ass cigars that the Rush Limbaugh types smoke? Thems smell ten times as bad as grape blunts, which actually have the relaxing aroma of a burning PB&J sammitch. I'll tell you why: because WHITE PEOPLE are the only ones who can afford Churchill Cohibas. Screw all you poor folk and your Backwoods Smokes soaked in liquid PCP.
If you think the nanny state is going to stop at nasty smelling poverty smokes, you're kidding yourself. Only a matter of time before they come after everything poor people consume to help get through another day in the top floor of Hell. Next up in the eternal battle to keep you from killing yourself: cheap beer, chicken wings, mambo sauce, and fries drowned in salt, pepper, and ketchup. Getting $h!tfaced on $2 Schaefers and eating hot grease will soon go the way of the sanitary napkin belt, shoefitting fluoroscopes, and personal responsibility. Who the hell wants a world where there are no options besides $18 Belgian lambic ales happy hour specials and steamed buddhist delight vegetable carryout with NO MSG? Cheap booze, greasy carryout, and cigars stuffed with pot are an American birthright, like heart disease and those motorized buttwagons for the morbidly obese that Blue Cross pays for. What the hell do you think got the troops through that long winter at Valley Forge anyway? Why do you think there's all that spooky $h!t going on on the back of a dollar bill? It's because behind every good man there is a woman, and that woman was Martha Washington, man. And everyday George would come home, she would have a big fat bowl waiting for him, man, and a big plate of moogoo and a bottle of corn likker. She was a hip, hip, hip lady, man.
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Awards? Sadly, we're working through a bit of technical difficulties with our profiles and avatars, so no such honors this week -- but fret not, they will return next week, with another installment of your finest witticisms.