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With a hat tip to Huffington Post's Ryan Grim, it seems that Rep. Alcee Hastings (D-Fla.) got up to speak on the House floor yesterday about an amendment to the hate crimes bill, and ended reading off a very, very long list of peculiar sex acts.
"I apologize to our transcriber," he said, "but I want to put into the record what we have to put up with in the Rules Committee." Among the deviant sexual practices he then proceeded to name were asphyxiphilia, apotomnophilia, corophilia, exhibitionism, frotteurism, necrophilia, toucherism and zoophilia.
All we can say is, if these are the kinds of things the Rules Committee has to put up with, how can we get invited to their parties?
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he didn't mention haterphilia.
Is it wrong that I'm now REALLY horned up?
cornonthecobophilia
So, nothing about urolagnia, teledildonics, pyroflatulation, wanton incontinence, or scrimshaw? Guess I don't have to change my plans for Saturday night.
Is that Foghorn Leghorn?
I know it's all in good fun, but do me a favor and don't leave sexually suggestive comments about me or my staff. I have to delete them.
whoops! there's that fuzzy line again. my bad.
It kind of turns me on when she talks all dominatrix like that.
By "delete" do you mean put them away for a rainy day?
Kleptomania is a sexual orientation?
See kids, this is what happens when you find yourself impeached and removed from the federal bench. You get assigned to read laundry lists of sex acts on the House floor. Don't let it happen to you.....
Did she say anything about lemon parties, the donkey punch, the dirty Sanchez or rusty trombones?
Need a cite?
http://thomas.loc.gov/cgi-bin/query/Z?r111:H29AP9-0028:e66032:358
You're welcome!
Awesome.
"This is serious business. Mr. Speaker,we can’t legislate love . . ." 155 Cong. Rec. H4937.
Truer words were never spoken.
Wow. I've seen my fair share of German pron, but this had me scrambling for the dictionary.
I actually thought it was a good speech once he got going. TOUCHISM indeed!
Does the FCC monitor CSpan??
Why does this remind me of a Mr. Show sketch?
Frottage happens every day on the Metro, I'm not quite sure how that's a sexual deviation.
See! This is why I make sure that all of my curtains are closed and the door is locked. What goes on in my room.
Stays in my room. Hey! Does FEBREEZE get rid of that dead girlfriend smell?
Not that I have a dead girlfriend in my room. I'm just axing.
Oh no, tell me this site is not going all Wonkette on us.
Unless this guy performed one of these acts in a stall at Black Cat with Mendo AND Cheh, it is not suitable DCist material.
I may be asking a dumb question..but why the "new" hce?
HCE was a sort of under the wire 'guest' account. Lot's of people posted to it. After I started posting to it regularly, I claimed it. However, I was looking back at some the past comments and found a few offensive ones i didn't want to be associated with. So, I killed off HCE. Long live NewHCE.
Yo, when am I gonna hear my Krunkophillia on the senate dance floor?! Skake it Alcee! You need woo-woo gilrs to make a speech like that!
You buried the lede! The intent, at least according to Rep. Lieandsteal, is to protect our differently-aroused friends:
"Mr. Speaker, this bill addresses our resolve to end violence based on prejudice, and to guarantee that all Americans, regardless of race, color, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, gender identity or disability—or all of these philias and fetishes and
isms that were put forward—need not live in fear because of who they are."
Punch a groper on the Metro? HATE CRIME!
The shaved pandas are more than a little pissed off that they weren't included in this list! Panda tinklephilia--it don't make you a bad person.
Shokushu Goukan anyone?