Possible Jumper Apprehended on Wilson Bridge

Virginia State Police have taken into custody an apparently distraught man who was threatening to jump off the Wilson Bridge at around 4 p.m. this afternoon. The man was reportedly dangling from the bridge, but was successfully rescued. Dr. Gridlock reports that traffic delays on the Inner Loop of the Beltway resulted from the rescue operation, which shut down lanes for about 30 minutes. Multiple jurisdictions responded to the rescue operation on the Potomac.

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Successfully rescued from the water? That's a mighty long fall...

Yeah sorry, that was slightly unclear, as far as i understand it the rescue operation was based in the water, but they guy didn't fall into the water.

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I wish you would step back from that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies that you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand

"rescued from the water" is poetic but rather confusing for a news blurb. (He didn't actually fall into the water right?)

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Wow! You guys are like...killing the messenger. Possible jumper means he didn't jump. What if they were an impossible jumper? They'll never jump. Never!

sounds like he needs to go for a mid-day bar crawl.

I got trapped in that fustercluck. Had to loop around National Harbor then back onto the inner loop. As soon as the cops disappeared traffic started moving, which only proves my point that peoples' lives are so empty and pointless that their windshields become widescreen teevees with no remote; they're incapable of just f**king NOT LOOKING AT COPS/ACCIDENTS/SOME FAT F**K CHANGING HIS TIRE.

Look, you force yourself not to look at sexually attractive teenage girls/boys. Just do the same at roadside accidents. We'll all be a lot happier and I can get home and start drinking on schedule.

Yeah I hate rubberneckers. In Germany one of the first things that EMS/Fire do at an accident scene is set up an opaque screen/partition that hides the accident scene from view. Naturally this means less geniuses slowing down to gape at the gory scene.

Germans are practical like that. And waaaay better drivers as well.

Are we not supposed to check out sexually attractive teenagers? All the time, or only when we are driving?

What happened to the decision to shoot down anyone that threatened to jump off the bridge after the multi-hour, rush-hour "jumper" incident in 1998?

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