D.C. Insurance Dept. Denies Birth Control Coverage Meddling
Controversy Over Rhee Now to Include Sex, Congress
Report: CCDC Split From UDC Is "Critical To Success"
Same-Sex Marriage Foes Have Few Options on Hill
Overheard in D.C.: Careful What You Wish For
Smithsonian Secretary Wayne Clough announced Monday that the three most popular museums on the National Mall will stay open longer through the summer in an effort to boost revenue for their gift shops and restaurants, the AP reports. The National Museum of Natural History and National Air and Space Museum will stay open two hours later, until 7:30 p.m., and the National Museum of American History will stay open at least one hour later, every day this summer. The museums open at 10 a.m. and typically closed at the end of the work day. A spokesperson for the Smithsonian confirmed that the extended hours actually started on Mar. 28, and will last until at least Sept. 7, with a few exceptions. Consult the web sites of each museum for the most up to date operating hours.
Smithsonian Museums Extend Spring and Summer Hours
add to stumble upon
add to reddit
tweet this
post to facebookComments (44) [rss]
Post a comment (Comment Policy)
Tips
Contribute
Latest Tip:
Does anyone know about the armed robbery on 13th NW last night in Columbia Heights? The helicopters
[more]
I wish the National Gallery of Art stayed open until 9pm like they used to. Halfsmokes and a stroll through the post Impressionists was my standard cheapo skinflint date back in my broke-ass salad days. Many's the time I bul$h!tted my way to some hot second base action in the atrium after impressing some seniorita with my vast knowledge of Gaugin's awkward "brown period."
So true; and who hasn't faked a profound knowledge of the inter-workings of the artist's mind to get laid?
The trick to this pseudo sophistication it to focus on modern pieces and ask rhetorical question like 'Yes, all well and good, but is it art?'. Feel free to stroke your chin for an even greater effect.
It also helps if you don't spit at the Titians.
I make the exception in the case of Morris Louis, but that's more of a Hirshorn thing.
And if she brings up classical music, say "Aaaaah, Bach."
Help! My mind keeps saying "Benjamin Franklin Pierce" but my heart says "Charles Emerson Winchester III."
The trick to this pseudo sophistication is to focus on the modern pieces and ask rhetorical questions like 'Yes, all well and good, but is it art?'.
Feel free to stroke your chin for an even greater effect.
You guys can even expand your horizons to the Hirshorn. It's better because you know the Betty probably has NO IDEA what its all about. Here is the trick...at any piece of art, say in a serious voice..
"I see this as a representation of man's inhumanity towards man."
Go home and spend the rest of the night playing Just the Tip.
When it comes to art gallery foreplay, he following critical catchphrases never fail to impress:
-fin du ciecle ennui
-phallocentrism
-oedipal
-Weltschmertz
-paradigm
-bag of dicks
-bourgeois
-"Mine is bigger."
-organic
-"Sorta looks like tubgirl if you tilt your head."
It's like slipping spanish fly in her ear.
Slip in this quote and you are golden: "hovering between profundity and dead-pan cliche." Lifted from a museum piece description, long since forgotten the actual piece. But it worked, I married the guy.
Well, some of us aren't looking for soul mates. Some of us are just in it for a good hard rawdogging critique, followed by a sloppy seconds summing up.
sophiagrrl have you seen the current National Gallery exhibit "Pride of Place: Dutch Cityscapes of the Golden Age"? Perhaps we could take a look at it and then stop by my place so I can show you my etchings....
fantastic!
"...in an effort to boost revenue for their gift shops and restaurants..."
They don't even pretend to be educational institutions anymore?
And why should they? It's not like being an ignorant, toothless moron is a liability in this town. In fact, being able to consruct a coherent sentence is an actual liability.
Education in America is a nubile Cinderella: sparsely clad and much interfered with.
They could skyrocket right up to number one if they had a whale penis.
And so true about this town; good looks and a fat wallet.
They had a whale penis, but the Meese Commission on Pornography had it removed because it was corrupting the youth of Athens or something. The director had to drink a bowl of hemlock. You know how expensive that stuff is? I ordered some at Jaleo and I was like, "How much am I paying for a saucer of this stuff? WTF man?" So I went to McDonalds and had the Strichnyne Smoothie with crushed Oreos. Dee-lish!
A free educational institution has to be able to pay for its staff and maintenance costs somehow! Just because something is provided free of cost to the public doesn't mean that it doesn't cost money to provide it.
I was being tongue in cheek, but too much tongue, too little cheek...
my bad - I'm not very good at picking up subtleties on the interweb
We as taxpayers cover staff and maintenance costs. "Free of cost" only applies to members of the public who don't pay taxes.
Smithsonian Fiscal Year 2009 Federal Budget Request Totals $716.4 Million
Of course they want some money for "anti-terrorism projects at multiple locations", and we know how high a target they are.
Galleries are a perfectly legitimate terrorist target. Do you know how many times NGA gets letters threatening to do unspeakable things to Claes Oldenburg's ouevre? I myself am on the Tate Modern's "do not pee" list for dumping my urine in Marcel Duchamps' "Fountain." Try telling them you have a weak bladder and couldn't find the restroom.
I know that Smithsonian museums get a majority of their funding from the government and their endowments -- my point was that if the museum stores and cafes aren't doing well and they are part of each museum's budget, taking action to make these operations profitable supports rather than contradicts their mission of being an educational institution as you implied (unless as someone said, the cost of keeping the museums open outweighs the increased revenue generated by the change).
Agreed. Didn't mean to give you a hard time.
Micky D's some much for so little, I'm loving it!
Okay, I can't believe I am giving away my whole museum playbook, but here goes (this worked a little TOO well and now I am married, so I don't need it anymore).
The first thing you need to do is to pick one artist or genre. Selection is key. It should be someone well known that will likely be in most museums, but someone controversial. You need to pick someone that the target will likely not like. Picasso is good, Pollack is better.
Now do your research. You don't have to have the committed I did and read the 800 page Pollock bio, but it's good to get a sense of key periods in the artists life and soundbytes of why he is considered great.
When you go to the museum, the key is to be dismissive of anything that she likes. When she ooh's and ahs over the Monet's, casually say "It's a shame the impressionists didn't take it one step further," or "It's pretty, but there is not much emotion." When you find her staring at a Rockwell, mutter, "Geez, why didn't he just take a photo."
When you get to the Pollock, stare at it intently and WAIT until she asks "You like this?." Then unload your heavy artillery. "Of course. What he did here was totally smash the "line" that had constrained all artists before him. It is the ultimate expression of the artists emotion."
You will have her steaming under the silks by this point and she will be telling her friends how you are "soo smart".
Then slip her a roofie?
So after an evening of "unloading your heavy artillery," did she end up resembling a Jackson Pollock? Because that would be hot.
I had to ask my wife, because it was so long ago. She says "absolutely not."
Some of the ladies just aren't into abstract expressionist bukkake. Lemme guess, surrealism isn't her cup of fur either?
Limp watches? No thanks
Fundamentalcase Christian scorn for the perverted arts isn't limited to the Mapplethorpes and Finleys of the world. The Venus de Milo has turned more impressionable teens onto amputee fetishism than all the acrotomophilia porn in Japan and Germany combined. And just try looking at "The Martyrdom of St. Sebastian" without wanting to tie up teenagers and shoot them full of arrows. Then there's that perrenial chestnut, Michaelangelo's David with his wang hanging out.
Seems like a huge waste of time to me.
I just kept trying my luck at the Irish Times until I finally met "the one."
Dude, It's like learning to play one cool song on the piano, or being able to name one Indigo Girls song. It's worth the investment.
LAWLZ!! A'ight, I see where you're coming from now. But I still say that throwing down shots of GM at the Times is easier.
That might work, if you picked anyone OTHER than the guy from page one of Art for Dummies: 20th Century.
I think "hovering between profundity and dead-pan cliche" is on the douchebag state flag.
Damn, now I know why there were so many guys in my art history classes -- looking for pickup lines to get them laid.
Well, of course it's all about getting laid. Why the hell do you think man invented art in the first place? To impress his girlfriend. If it weren't for art, we'd all still be naked, $h!tting in a cave. But one brave neanderthal in the south of France decided to draw something on the cave wall with his turd and maybe Grok would like it and touch him down there.
"Hey, Grok! Check this out!"
"That's nice. What do you call it?"
"I call it "Nude Descending Staircase."
"What's 'a staircase?'"
"F**k if I know."
"Who's the nude?"
"IT'S YOU! Happy anniversary, baby!"
[JUNKPUNCH]
"Ow! Why'd you do that?"
"You made me look fat."
"But that winter fat looks good on you, baby!"
[JUNKPUNCH]
"$H!T! Everybody's a critic."
With my rotund robust middle, I stand and chatter with the passing people. You see, I am a living art piece. Live-action. Approach me and I'll do some uncanny things or just stand there. After all, I am art. No sticky fingers. Yes, my codpiece is removable. Enjoy.
They must be doing a ton of business to make it financially worth it. The extra costs must be huge (security, staff, utilities, etc).
The prices for food and gifts in these museums aren't cheap. One hamburger, some astronaut ice cream, and a 8 1/2 by 11 reprint of C. M. Coolidge's "Dogs Playing Poker" will set you back 50 bucks. And you know all those folks visiting from Ohio are awash in cash.
Oh and if the painting is on velvet, that's a C-Note right there.
Fortunately, the fanny-pack types are rarely on the mall past 5 pm because they have a date with a feeding trough er, buffet table at Phillip's.
That and they don't respond to "Love Words".