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Morning Roundup: Rain Won't Go Away Edition
Not technically D.C.-related, but given that this may actually be the best local TV news story we've ever seen, there was just no way we could pass on it. WLWT in Cincinnati reports on the "growing trend" of "real-life superheroes" in this piece of pure comedy gold. Make sure not to miss the interaction between Cincinnati's top superhero, "Shadow Hare," and a Cincinnati cop about halfway through. Absolutely brilliant.
Much to our disappointment, the web site the story points to, WorldSuperheroRegistry.com, doesn't identify any active masked men or women operating in the D.C. area, apart from "Tothian," who is listed as being active all over the East Coast. Our searching did turn up a 2005 story from WTOP featuring "Metro Woman," who fights for the Purple Line, and this 2007 story in the Washington Post on the "Capital City Super Squad."
While we're at it, have there actually been any D.C.-based superheroes in comics? Apart from Barack Obama, that is.
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ALLEGIANCE ASSEMBLE!
(I envision myself watching this more than a few times today.)
They realize they're going to get stabbed, right?
Stabbed, maybe, but not shot if their suits are made out of dress shirts
Cool "Disco" Dan joined with Nick Fury to fight Borf in Issue #231 of "Turgid Tales."
Wonder Wart Hog and Pigman at your service.
I think TV John and Blelvis would make an interesting superhero team.
I see a lawsuit coming from the Guardian Angels. Or maybe they exist in an alternate universe, kinda like marvel and dc.
where can i get some skin tight, fluorescent green pants to show of my hot MUD-playing ass?
On E-Bay, of course.
You don't need tights or capes to be a superhero. All you need is Grand delusions. A high threshold for pain.
A fractured self image. A bout with some heavy hallucinegens will help. A good attorney. A good super hero name. Plenty of spare time and money (cause baby the life of a hero does not pay money). You will get laid, though.
No capes! Do you remember Thunderhead? Tall, storm powers. Nice man. Good with kids. November 15th of '58. All was well, another day saved when his cape snagged on a missile fin! Stratogale! April 23rd, '57. Cape caught in a jet turbine! Meta-man, express elevator! Dynaguy, snag on takeoff! Splashdown, sucked into a vortex!
No capes!
Okay, Edna.
not to fear Sommer. DC's Guardian is here!
http://www.myspace.com/dc_guardian
Proving yet again that wearing spandex is a privilege not a right. *shudder*
DC's perfect superhero: The Monument - a towering, Goliath sized man with limbs of pure marble who quotes from the Constitution, Declaration of Independence, and the Gettysburg Address when pummeling white-collar criminals.
In the Marvel universe there's the SIlver Sufer.
In the DC universe there's the Silver Wind-surfer. AKA John Kerry.
He's all the hero I need!
But seriously, who's going to continue the age-long struggle against the Legion of Snakeheads?
Especially when the Legion of Snakeheads teams up with Goat-Man!
"...So we'll hunt him because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a watchful protector. A dark knight"
Yo, man, why ge gotta be "dark?" You got a problem with 'at? Brotha from Ghana. Ain't his fault he dark.
Watchful guardian: He's McGruff, the aged and infirm and toothless and eats through a straw, crime-dog.
bark bark.
In the DC Comics Universe, Steel was based in Washington, DC for a while. Also, the Hall of Justice for the current Justice League of America is here... that issue where Vixen and Red Arrow get stranded under a collapsed Watergate is a tear jerker...
The Hall of Justice, for people who don't know, is cleverly hidden in Union Station. Take a look at the Station from 2nd and F Streets, NE, and you'll see it.
HA! I'd like to see them fighting crime at midnight somewhere in the 'hood in Cincinnati. It looks like their "beat" is the Cincinnati equivalent of Connecticut Ave. Really effective. I guess D&D gets boring after 15 years.
That 'hood would be Over-the-Rhine, and one would not to flex their imagination visualize what would happen to their poor spandexed bodies should they try to save humanity in Over-the-Rhine after dark.
Kinda like S.W. DC, Over the Rhine isn't as bad as it used to be. But point taken.
Still it's kinda nice to see news that doesn't involve race riots or skinheads coming outta the ol' homestead
Might I suggest y'all check Mark Millar's comic Kick Ass.
Nerd kid decides to become a super hero. Bloodshed, much of his own, enues.
http://www.marvel.com/catalog/?id=8238
You've got a whole city council full of superheroes!
There's Captain Crackpipe and his Magic Flipflops, Grahamzilla: Destroyer of Bars, The Cataniac, the Brown Wondertwins, The Green Mendelson, Vincent van Vampire, Cheh The Nightstalker, and from Georgetown, we have The Corporate Apologist.
And then there's MAUDE!
Reallifesuperheores.com lists two DC-based heroes. DC's Guardian (as mentioned in a previous comment), and Captain Prospect. Both claim to be members of the "Cpaital City Super Squad."
Linkage:
http://reallifesuperheroes.org/heroes.html
BLELVIS!
Aren't the local guardian angels already doing ridiculous stuff like this?
Safe guarding the city is not ridiculous. Cops need a break too. Who else but a bonafide super-hero to come to your aid. Some carry towels and booze. Some carry big sticks and candy. Others get shot and die. All in all it's crazy good fun.
http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/clips/snl-digital-short-hero-song/227152/