What's That You Say?
Welcome to What's That You Say?, where we take all the silly (and occasionally pertinent) things you people say during the week, put them together so everyone can read them for a second time, and bask in the fuzzy feeling that only such manual back-scratching can provide.
Fred Phelps and his cadre of fanatics were in town earlier this week, protesting local high schools in an attempt to yell at teenagers about how gay people and the military-industrial complex were killing God in America. Or something. In any case, most of our commenters were able to burn through Phelps' followers' wacko-spouting with little delay, but it was demonfafa who really nailed it, earning our Comment of the Week:
I don't doubt that most in his church believe in what they do, but the reason they use such flagrantly offensive methods is because of the sheer amount of people who assault due to said methods them gives them the ability to collect damages on a constant basis (most of Phelps' kids have law degrees), thereby funding their church.
So what have we learned kiddies? That ideals can certainly motivate you, but money motivates more.
After the jump, DCist comment threads become advertisement boards for recently laid-off creative types, how the Nationals could sell more tickets, and the rest of last week's best comments and threads which you may have missed.
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See, and you thought that the recession was all doom and gloom: heck, the economic downturn just allows creative DCist commenters to offer their services to a wider audience! I mean, just look here -- we've got an architect, an interior designer, and...a cartographer. (Sorry, IMGoph.)
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Seems like the Nats are having some trouble selling seats. As someone who's lived in a number of places with failing sports teams, I can honestly tell you that fedward's suggestion is a brilliant way to get people to come to games, even when the home team stinks:
My idea is still that ten minutes before the first pitch, the Nationals should start selling $10 rush tickets good for any seat in the house, including the always-empty Presidential section that always makes the team look bad on TV. People would line up for the chance to get those seats, and even if they didn't end up right behind home plate almost all of them would stay for the game.
But for all their ticketing difficulties, the stadium's new beer list looks pretty good -- but also expensive, as Virginia Is For Losers writes:
I'm loving that beer list, but I have to wonder if their choice of brews has less to do with offering some interesting, quality beers, and more to do with selling beers for prices even more ridiculous than the usual. 90 Minute IPA is like $10 for a 4-pack at Whole Paycheck. What's a bottle of that good shit going to cost at the ballpark? $20?
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DCist: where we fight veiled threats of terrorism with complaints about WMATA.
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The Week In Votes and Guns: Friday...and uh, Friday.
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west, on what makes Virginia such a bang-up place to live:
The issue of abortion aside, Virginia license plates are out of control. There is absolutely no need for over 200 specialty plates, combined with this little nug, Virginia is without a doubt the most irritating place to drive, ride, walk, or generally be anywhere withing sight of a road in the nation. No joke, I once saw a Mitsubishi Eclipse with a plate that read BJS4EVER and had to flee when I stopped to take a picture only to be seen by the large, angry woman who was the owner.
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We're all nerds. Deal with it.
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The Magical World of Monkeyrotica: this week, retrocession. The man's got some good points.
I don't see why everyone's so dead set against retrocession. As far as driving skills, DC folks suck just as bad as Maryland drivers anyway. Apart from getting representatives and sending tax dollars to Annapolis instead of that money pit downtown, how would retrocession change everyone's day-to-day lives? You'd still get up, go to work, and pay too much for everything, just like you do now. It's just that you don't have a pointless State of New Columbia bureaucracy layered on top of the already craptacular "service" you're getting now. So you don't get a State flag and your very own star on the Stars and Stripes. You also don't get Senator Marion Barry and Governor Fenty. That has to count for something.
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Who cares about the nutrition of today's school lunches, when we can trip nostalgic about the chicken patties and cardboard pizza of yesteryear?
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Wait, a commenter actually defending the Nationals? This, thanks to hillvada, we have to feature:
The Nats and the city would love to do something with the above ground lots surrounding the stadium. However, in case you haven't heard, current economic conditions are not exactly conducive to new development. In other words, we will all have to wait for the promised "entertainment district" with the cool bars and the hip restaurants and the chic cafes. A few more years of street vendors, Five Guys and Subway.
It does look like the W-Aloft Hotel is progressing nicely however. They better offer rates at below government per-diem or else they will be empty. The Navy Yard and its contractors, not the stadium, are the current economic drivers in near Southeast.
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Man, it's like the back of a middle school bus in here.
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Over The River, already invoking the "we get some lenience on cruelty during the advent of tourist season" clause of his DCist commenter contract:
Some people are like Slinky Toys. They aren't really good for anything but you can't help but smile when you push them down the stairs.
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The requisite April Fool's thread, which wasn't an April Fool's thread.
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Let's hand out some awards, shall we?
Our Avatar Award for Achievement in the Field of Avatars goes to ShawnDC, for the representation of a mouse about to make for a tasty snack for what a hungry cat. (Unless that mouse is Jerry. Or Itchy. Or that mouse I had in my pantry that wouldn't die. OK, maybe that mouse isn't in that much trouble.)
This week's Username of the Week goes to groovyrooster -- although, groovyrooster, you should feel free to comment on things other than Metro; there are plenty of other things in D.C. that are constantly breaking. Don't spare us your complaints!