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Is Jumbo Slice a nuisance? It certainly feels that way by [ahem] p.m. the next day, once you've finally woken from that night out at Asylum that you capped off with that regrettable $4.50 quarter-pie. And when you must walk the walk of shame home instead of cabbing the walk of shame home -- because you spent your last single bills ensuring that your blood-grease content matched your BAC -- you bet, Jumbo Slice feels like a right pain in the high heel.
But Jim Graham, Councilmember from Ward 1 and no friend to pizza molto grassa, says the nuisance goes further than that -- much further. According to ABC7, Graham says the piece of pie is disrupting peace of mind, contributing to "street fights, stabbings, muggings and even a shootout involving two plainclothes police officers." Quote Graham:
Even though [Jumbo Slice is] a legal business and everything, they have become a nuisance. Behaving the way they do in terms of music, in terms of letting people hang out and also in terms of tolerating a certain level of violence.This editor appreciates the ease with which Graham dismisses free enterprise -- "a legal business and everything," only the concern of those who would prize pizza over justice. Yet might Graham be overstating the case by proposing a crackdown on single-serving pizza? The slice slueths at ABC7 have the deep dish for you:
A hidden ABC 7 camera captured an example of what Graham is talking about a couple weeks ago. Two girls began arguing in front of one of the Jumbo Slice businesses, the altercation turned physical when punches were thrown and people wrestled to the ground. The melee went on for 10 minutes before police arrived.Shocking. There's no telling how many Jumbo Slices they downed that evening. Maybe those girls shot some Jumbo Slice on U Street before they even arrived at Adams Morgan. And who can even count the Jumbo Slices they threw back at home before they even left for the bars? With all that slice running through their veins, it's a marvel no one was more seriously hurt.
In other cities with congested bar districts, officials have seen some success in alleviating violence by diverting traffic from those streets altogether late on weekend nights. For 18th Street NW, that might mean no thru traffic or on-street parking after a certain hour, which would give drunks a wide berth in the middle of the lane to walk and carouse -- as opposed to constantly bumping into one another on narrow sidewalks while totally hammered. Bet you those other cities don't face the dread scourge of overlarge pizza, though.
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UnCOOl Beans! Jim..you are barking up the wrong tree. Those 2 women arguing were just 2 18th street generic skanks. Just like if you get hit in the head by a Frisbee. You don't go out and try to ban all Frisbeez. Jim, you is one crazy mo-fo dude. I love pizza. 'Specially them Jumbo Slices. You may as well ban all alcohol usage on 18th street. It hasn't been that hot outside so you can't blame the heat on this one. Perhaps you are thinking of opening your own pizza joint. In the meantime, Jimmy-hole..Leave the Jumbo Pizza alone.
Next on ABC 7 - Investigation reveals 2Amys fighting.
Jimmie-Lube....Pizza don't talk. Pizza has no hands so it can't carry a gun. Pizza has no cellphone. Pizza can't walk. Jumbo Slice is very affordable. Jumbo Slice absorbs the alcohol juices. You can share a Jumbo Slice. Jumbo Slices are eco-friendly. Pizza can't get you pregnant.
Pizza won't rob you. You can kiss a Pizza and then eat it.
I love pizza. Long live Jumbo Slices. Jimmy-hole go feng-shwa a dumpster. Pizza at 4 in the morn is the bestess
food in the world. On cold winter nights, Jumbo Slices keep you warm. Grahamstander, what are you doing up at 4 in the morning anyways. Shouldn't you be TIVOing It's Academic or Meet the Press? Leave it. Leave Jumbo Slice alone.
Deep, ive noticed you have kept on the sidelines of the guns/vote/gay marriage debates. congrats on finding a cause you can champion
I'm crazy mo-fo about pizza. Guns, I can do without,but I want one. Gay marraige, I'm Ok with. The vote...I don't see what I'll get out of it, so If we get it...we get it...iffen we don't...we don't....BUT MESS WITH THE PIZZA!!!!
Closing down 18th St on the weekend evenings is a simply brilliant idea! Bars and restaurants could put seating out on the sidewalks. The added space might turn the zone into a more sophisticated, fun and chill atmosphere than the current Fri-Sat zoo, but without cutting down on any business revenues.
While I did read the article and was enlightened by the interaction between the provincial government and the proprietor of this establishment, I got the hottest when I read girl fight.
You know, the guy in the photo could be eating a jumbo slice OR projectile vomiting. I really can't tell the difference.
Can we get a list of things that Jim Graham has *not* tried to ban? It would probably be shorter.
This is why I am glad that I moved to Ward 1 recently. I can't wait to vote against Jim Graham in the next election. His broken promises to the gay clubs moved due to the Ballpark construction, the gleeful gloating when he prevented a homeless shelter from relocating to Ward 1, the push to constantly rename metro stations, this misdirected absurdist stance on Jumbo Slice, and a host of other poor public policy decisions has me absolutely fed up.
Dear Jim Graham: this is patently idiotic.
All kidding aside, can we get another comment from Deep on this? Seriously, its been 4 1/2 hours man. Shouldn't you be checking in soon?
You had me at..."All kidding aside..."
This is ridiculous.
It's like trying to ban Cheetos or Doritos to deal with a marijuana problem.
so, if there's no cheap pizza to buy, does that mean bar-hoppers will eat in restaurants, boosting their food percentages and helping to keep them legal? Is it that ABRA licensed facilities can be held to account for fights started in-premises, where a pizza joint can't? Is it that the paper plate litter just got to be too much? Or is it some combination of the three?
Cheap?? Considering the cardboard and processed cheese they use costs 5 cents, they're making 900% profit.
In case you can't tell, I hate their pizza, but it's obviously not fair they get all the crap for drunken idiocy when the people were obviously drinking somewhere ELSE before they came in. Would he rather people don't dilute all that liquor with food before jumping in their cars to drive away?
The paper plate litter is a real problem, but again how do you police the behavior of drunken partygoers? No good can come from jumbo slice employees harassing these people to leave and use a trash can. They would do the exact opposite and create even more fighting.
I don't disagree with you.
I'm just thinking out loud of the various constituencies that might want (or tell JG they want) Jumbo Slice to disappear. And I come up with: some other restaurant owners (who could want to keep the food sales to themselves, perhaps to keep their food percentages up and so keep their ABRA licenses safe), the keep-it-clean folks (apparently your camp, mine, too, actually), and bars (who might feel they get a bad rap if people leave their place blitzed, and then get into a fight a few doors down).
It's all speculation on my part, but I think it's more likely than thinking JG is crazy enough to have pulled this out of thin air.
Jimmy...Jimmy
Ahh..Jimmy Graham
What are you gonna sack?
Jimmy Jimmy
ohh...Jimmy Graham
We don't wancha back!
To the person who had the question about teabagging.
Picture the picture as seen above, but instead of a jumbo slice...
Jim Graham = likely thinking the same thing.
i guess jim is upset they failed to meet their quota for hiring illegal aliens
Ever wonder why Jumbo Slice doesn't serve white pizza?
That's right. Because they're racists.
"The Protection of Widows and Orphans from Jumbo Slice Induced Girlfights Act of 2009" is in the MUTHAF**KING HOUSE, BOYEE!
Jim, you are a f*cking alarmist moron. Please move to some small suburb somewhere and work to ban all strip malls. They need you!
Jim Graham is the councilman that Ward One deserves. He's not just pulling this legislation out his a$$. He pulls liquor licenses and shuts down Jumbo Slice because his constituents bombard him with idiot phonecalls to his Blackberry and idiot emails and idiot SMSs. You want to know who's responsible for Jim Graham's idiot legislation? It's the old f**kers. If you've ever been to a neighborhood association meeting or an ANC meeting, it's always the people who've been in the neighborhood FOREVER who complain the loudest about the most bat$h!t insane nonsense: the kids and their clothes nowdays, I can't go to the library anymore because everybody STINKS, except me because I like the smell of Ben Gay and failure. Sure, everybody complains, but these braying jackasses bray the loudest and keep certain knee-jerk jackasses in office. The only reason he's still in office is because his predecessor was not only a jackass, but a corrupt Barry crony jackass as well.
No, dear Brutus, the fault lies not with Jim Graham but in every senile batfart who's lived way past their expiration date. I can't wait until he runs against Fenty. He'll be the Mayor that DC deserves.
Yikes! This sounds exactly like our condo association.
jim graham truly is an idiot
look! michael phelps is imbibing too!
So long as Jim doesn't mess with my Julia's Empanadas, I will just continue to be amused by this development.
First they came for the Jumbo Slices, and I did nothing because Jumbo Slices gave me violent diarrhea.
Then they came for the 99 cent McDoubles, and still I did nothing, because they clogged me up.
When they came for my Julia's Empanadas there was no one left to speak out for their tender, flaky crust.
I think that Jim Graham is totally right. Jumbo Slice is a dangerous place. It fosters crime, public displays of drunkenness, drug dealing, and God knows what else. And this place's pizza is terrible - its pretty obvious that they don't care that their pizza sucks and they probably enjoy dousing mineral oil on stale bread and watching the drunken masses eat it. This place needs to go NOW.