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The quotes in this morning's Post are straight out of a schlocky horror movie: "You prevent the spread for as long as you can, and then you just suck it up." Zombies? Aliens? C.H.U.D.s? Oh, no, it's zebra mussels, pesky little creatures that invade freshwater bodies and generally cause chaos. The mussels -- considered the roaches of the sea, as they feed on detritus -- vex everything that uses the water: their sharp shells cut swimmers' feet and damage boats, while power plants and water treatment plants usually need to spend a whole bunch of money to clear them from pipes. Having toted over here on Eastern European ships in the 1980s like a modern-day version of rats, the mussels have most recently caused a ruckus in the Great Lakes, costing millions of dollars in damage -- and now, they are working their way down the Susquehanna River to the Chesapeake Bay. They breed rapidly, can slip through dams, and there's not much that can really be done to stop them. As a associate director at the Maryland Department of Natural Resources notes: "I'm knocking on wood that we don't have a zillion of them by fall." I'd tell you to aim for the head, but they don't have one.
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Does anyone know about the armed robbery on 13th NW last night in Columbia Heights? The helicopters
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Panic!
I don't think "detriment" means what you think it means.
Ah, yes. Serves me right for trying to deal with similar sounding words before adequate amounts of coffee.
Detritus, not detriment.
When the weed shrub mesquite started taking over Texas, they started using the stuff for barbecue. When kudzu started taking over Louisiana, they started shipping the stuff to Japan where they eat it. I say we send this crap to the small plates restaurants, give it a chichi name like "heirloom Potowmack moulles," and watch the money roll in.
If that doesn't work, we breed with their women until our differences disappear.
Only if they shave their byssal threads fist.
Greek and English fishermen used to weave gloves out of mussel threads. The thread is so strong and tight it's practically indestructible. You can't even get a knife through them. They're the mithril armor of the bivalve world.
"They're the mithril armor of the bivalve world."
That's why they've no place in my mouth- sweet briny taste not withstanding.
Send in the snakeheads!
Seeing as how much people love to eat the roaches of the sea (mussels, oysters, scallops, etc.) why can't we just make Zebra Mussels the next trendy entrée? If restaurants start serving zebra mussel soup, and zebra mussel sauce (I know they are small, so they do better in sauces), in about a year they will be overfished and disappear, sort of like every other living thing in the bay. Popeye's could start selling popcorn Zebra Mussels, and they will disappear from the earth for good!
I guess we'll need to nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
these thing are nasty. it is really a shame
here's why we should eat them:
theyre highly nutritional for us
their population needs control by us
are beneficial when under control - they clean water and increase pop'n of some fish, which is why they WERE introduced to the great lakes - but bc we didn't eat them, they took over.
so let's eat them
But we still get to f**k them first, right?
You f**ck them, I'll sell the "I ate at the naked mussel" T-Shirts.
Baby oil's pretty good with muscadet, shallots, parsley and a bit of thyme, scouts honor.