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The Metropolitan Police Department and the U.S. Park Police are warning area drivers about the following temporary road closures for events scheduled over the Memorial Day weekend.
Friday, May 22
*Rolling Thunder Candlelight Vigil: Henry Bacon Drive will be closed from Constitution Avenue to the Lincoln Memorial Circle from 7 p.m. to 11 p.m.
Saturday, May 23
*United House of Prayer for All People Memorial Day Parade. The parade starts at 11 a.m. and there will be temporary road closures along the route, which travels from 6th and M Streets NW, along 6th Street to Florida Avenue, then west to 13th & U Streets, south to Logan Circle, east along P Street to 7th Street, then back down to M Street to the church.
Sunday, May 24
*Rolling Thunder Motorcycle Ride. The following streets will be closed from 11:30 a.m. to 4 p.m.: Arlington Memorial Circle; Memorial Bridge; Lincoln Memorial Circle; 23rd Street NW from Constitution Avenue to Lincoln Memorial Circle; Henry Bacon Drive from Constitution Avenue to Lincoln Memorial Circle; Constitution Avenue NW from the Theodore Roosevelt Bridge to 3rd Street NW; 3rd Street from Constitution Avenue NW to Independence Avenue SW; Independence Avenue from 3rd Street to 23rd Street SW;
Ohio Drive SW from Independence Avenue to the Inlet Bridge; West Basin Drive SW from Ohio Drive to Independence Avenue; Jefferson Drive SW; Madison Drive NW.
Monday, May 25
*Memorial Day Parade: Henry Bacon Drive closes at 5 a.m. and will remain closed until the conclusion of the parade. The following streets will be closed from 12 p.m. to 4 p.m.: Constitution Avenue from 7th Street to 23rd Street NW; Jefferson Drive from 4th Street to 15th Street SW; Madison Drive from 4th Street to 15th Street NW; 15th Street from Independence Avenue SW to Constitution Avenue NW; 17th Street from Independence Avenue SW to Constitution Avenue NW.
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Also, since motorcycles in groups tend to freak people out, be advised that, as usual, there will be also clusters -- some escorted, some not -- on both Saturday and Sunday, headed to downtown Washington from all different directions across the metro area (Gaithersburg, Laurel, Annapolis, Fredericksburg and Manassas all come to mind). Sometimes, the escorts will block travel lanes to let the packs on to the various highways.
"Rolling Thunder is an annual motorcycle rally that is held in Washington, DC during the Memorial Day weekend to call for the government's recognition and protection of Prisoners of War (POWs) and those Missing in Action (MIAs)."
I don't understand where these lunkhead stoners think American POWs are still being held. Haven't they figured out yet that the Rambo movies were fictional? Why can't they admit that it's just a lame excuse for a social event where they rumble through a major city? I say we rig up some trip wires across the streets.
They must believe POWs are being held at Good Guys. I know they check there every year. I don't think they've found anything just yet, but, heck, it never hurts to check.
Used to be, has changed to:
"The major function of Rolling Thunder. is to publicize POW-MIA issues: To educate the public that many American prisoners of war were left behind after all previous wars and to help correct the past and to protect future veterans from being left behind should they become prisoners of war-missing in action."
And once again, there is no good way to get across the mall.
Who issues these permits and why don't they think about the needs of DC residents to get around our own city when they allow these closures?
As a DC citizen it is mandatory to leave DC this weekend and roll your thunder (or hybrid compact car) to unsuspecting seaside towns in Maryland and Delaware, who will in turn curse you for impeeding the needs of their own...what I'm saying is, you shouldn't even be here.
I love Rolling Thunder. Hearing their hogs on the streets and seeing them in their chaps ... Ooooooooops!
From cougar to leather mistress in one day. I love it.
Wizzy, please stop getting the boys all worked up.
We seriously have to get your "needs" taken care of, hon - you want I should lend you a cabana boy?
Hey Liz! Looks like you got a thang going on. Why not ask the editors here to create a Dcist E-Harmony whatchamacallit for us comment couch pertators...or better yet...a Dcist based swingers colony. It'll be soothing on the loins and will save bandwith.
And I'll be laying pipe.
Lucky pipe.
No links to maps for any of these closings, DCist? A long list of street names doesn't really help me. I don't have a map-making feature in my head, sadly.
It is very, very unlikely that there are any POWs left in Southeast Asia, so yes, it's about time to put this annual event out to pasture. While somewhat fun to watch Rolling Thunder, the street closures, noise and exhaust fumes are the pits.
Yeah, let's scrap Rolling Thunder. And while we're at it let's get rid of:
Columbus Day ... dead
Independence Day ... the war is over
MLK Day ... see Columbus Day
Arbor Day ... I mean really
Nats season ... see Columbus Day
Amen. If you want to raise money for a cause, that's just great, but go fuck up the quality of life in your own 'hood. This event is really just a bunch of fat hillbillies making it all about themselves.
Actually, a good chunk of these guys are average folks with average jobs (hell, even a few CEO's up in that mix), who ride hogs around to try to recapture their youth and/or penises. The MIA/POW thing seems almost incidental at this point.
I wouldn't mind ROllING BIKINI BRIGADE. On bikes that is and oh so ECO-Friendly.
You'd figure after all these years of Rolling Thunder, they'd finally be able to recapture their penises. And how did they come to lose them in the first place? Did they get blown off by Charlie in the 'Nam? Did they emigrate to Canada and claim to be conscientious objectors? Or maybe they didn't lose them. Maybe they just escaped! Like in that King Missle song. So many questions.
Let me answer that being that I am an arm chair doctor.
I earned my diploma on-line. A-hem! You see, after all those years of going over pothole after pothole, the old jimmie-hole and spine gets jostled. Thus giving you sciatica and other spinal injuries. These injuries themselve result in a loss of tail and penis.
In the King Missile song, he left it at a party.
No. In the King Missile song, the penis dumped him. Can you blame it? It was tired of being taken for granted. It's the classic boy-loses-penis song, in the vein of "A Boy Named Sue."
Heh. I said "vein."
Gawd you are all a bunch of girly men. Rolling Thunder is awesome. I'll take a weekend of cool tricked out Harleys on the streets of DC over caravans of drunk cops any day of the week. Come on, it is a nice change from the usual marching band crap.
Instead of blocking traffic and causing so much ill will with their host city, I think their time would be better spent forming a motorcycle dragnet for their missing penises.
Average joes and average CEOs can STILL be ignorant, slackjawed hillbillies with no regard for the rights of citizens whose cities they invade with their carbon-monoxide-spewing replacement penises.
Ah, The Replacement Penises! Now there's a great film. Even though they lifted the plot wholesale from The Fugitive, it was still pretty thrilling to watch Dr. Richard Hurtz track down "the Three-legged Man" who kidnapped and murdered his penis. Why Kramer vs Kramer's Penis won the Oscar that year, I'll never know.
No more ignorant than calling all of them "hillbillies."
I thought hillbillies drove pickup trucks with grandma in her rocking chair lashed to a pile of junk? Either that or the General Lee. Never seen one on a motorcycle. There's nowhere to put your gun rack, your Stars-and-Bars, or "These Colors Don't Run" American flag bumpersticker.
All right, Demon: Ignorant, slackjawed BIKERS. Yup. Much better!
And people wonder where the "elitist" rep comes from.
And here I was about to be severely down in my scruffy-beard sighting quota for this month.
What I wanna see is a drunk hog try to jump the Potomac River on his Harley. That'll be narly.
Ah yes, the penis analogy. Why not bring up Hitler or ask "what about the children?" Same with the gun issue. Feel free to put on your little tight shorts and ride your bicycle to get a refreshing gelato.
For the record, motorcycles and guns are not sex substitutes. (but they can work wonders as foreplay.) Do I need to teach you guys everything?
Hitler. Tight shorts. Gelato. This post has something for everyone! Even a penis.
Too bad it's cursed.
Large influxes of tourists around national holidays is one of the prices we pay for living in the nation's capital. Other cities have similar onslaughts of out-of-towners. I tend to stay as far from the Mall as much as possible during these events. While it is inconvenient, it is not unforgivable like the lack of voting rights or Congress' interference with home rule.
I am cool with the tourists. I am NOT cool with the fact that I cannot get to several friends' houses or to church. (I live in NW, these things are in SW.)
Take the subway
I'd make exactly the same suggestion to the Rolling Thunder crowd.
....but then...
But, but, but I thought it was all about the POW/MIAs?? As long as we're raising money for the cause, what difference does the mode of transportation make?
Got a little out of place, there. Just to clarify, NewHCE's "Take the subway" suggestion is equally well-suited to the Rolling Thunder crowd.
Same goes for the Marine Corps Marathon. I mean, 26 miles running? That takes forever. Just take the train.
We are nearing the end of the CHUD breeding season. The BABY CHUDs will be leaving their dark dens and walking among the large crowds on the Mall. With thousands of ugly tourists and portly bikers, the BABY CHUDs and their parents will blend in nicely. The ADULT CHUDs have gathered clothes from the Homeless shelters and will be partying with the best of us this weekend. If you spot one...just give them a high 5 or something.
I grew up in Milwaukee, WI. The home of Harley. I have owned a "hog" and occasionally will ride one when I go home to visit family. However, these rallies are ridiculous (though not as bad as living in Milwaukee for the 100th anniversary of Harley. That was just plain stupid).
Besides the traffic headaches, piles of trash left behind and carbon footprint the size of the national debt the thing that drives me most crazy about Harley rallies is the noise. Sure the occasional rumble sounds pretty neat-o, but the amount of noise pollution is just plain obnoxious. The standard factory exhaust on a Harley-Davidson creates somewhere in the range of 90-100 decibels. However most of these modified bikes exceed 120. For comparison a jet engine at take off is roughly 140 decibels from 3 meters away.
So think of it this way, would you complain if a few thousand jets drove up your street this weekend?
Rolling Thunder is no louder/smugger than a bunch of IMF/World Bank protestors with their drums, bullhorns, whistles, and goddamned puppets. And most of the bikers actually bathe.
Which is why the "ride" is in a non-residential area. Hey, its a once a year thing. Hanging with outta town bikers at the Tune Inn, or Millie & Als is MUCH better than hanging around with a bunch of outta town cops here for Police Week at those places. I love hearing the occasional roar, and seeing who on the sidewalk turns their head to check out the bike and who shirks in fear as well as seeing the good showing Dykes on Bikes always make outside of Phase One. It's just a nice change for this stick-up-its-butt town.
So it will be tough for you to visit the Lincoln Memorial for a few hours. BFD. How many times do we have to put up with that for trustafarian protests?
The noise and congestion are bad, but my biggest beef with the Rolling Thunder is their sense of entitlement in the city. Maybe that's just the drunk ones, which I'm guessing is at least half of them.
It's mainly the make-believe POW issue that annoys me about it. I looked over the merch page on the official site and there's a commemorative coin with a drawing of Nam+Cambodia on the front and a GI in a little bamboo cage on the back.
C'mon.
Macho cologne. Smells like war. I was in the war,dude. Nam.
Yeah!
Do you guys need some cheese to go with all this whine? You live in a city that has events and street closings ALL the time. Get over it.
I just like whining cause it feels real good and I like the sound of my keyboard going clickity-clack. Psyche!
I'm not really whining. It's finger therapy.
No other event in DC delivers thousands of visitors who travel as a fraternity and who feel they are entitled to do as they please on the roads. Memorial day weekend is the time of the year when I get the most birds while driving. It's the truf.
Saturday's *United House of Prayer for All People" Parade, starting at 11 a.m. is an annual DC must-see. UHOP church bands from many cities march between "God's White House" at 6th & M Streets NW and Logan Circle, once the site of the residence of Church founder Bishop C.M. "Daddy" Grace. A good chance to hear "God's Trombones."