The Weekly Feed: Experimentation Edition
Former Blade Staffers Launch 'DC Agenda'
D.C. Insurance Dept. Denies Birth Control Coverage Meddling
Controversy Over Rhee Now to Include Sex, Congress
D.C. Unemployment Rate Reaches 11.9 Percent
Afternoon, ladels and jellyspoons! It's once again time for your weekly roundup of all things comment: What's That You Say?
Alright, I'm willing to chalk up the cranky comments about the merits of using "natch" (on that note: demonfafa, it's okay to abbreviate "in real life" to "IRL," but not shorten "naturally" to "natch"?) to a lack of caffeine or something. But RJ was the real star of Thursday's Morning Roundup with this gem, worthy enough to earn our designation as Comment of the Week:
What!? no reporting on the giant accident on 7th? Apparently, there was a huge bandwagon crash, several thousand riders thrown off and presumed dead, until around April 2010.
Ouch. There's always next year, people.
After the jump, we collectively bum out about the demise of Screen on the Green, Batman-centric reactions to the approved demolition of Third Church of Christ, Scientist, and rats.
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Oh man, I just love reading these posts about the Third Church of Christ, Scientist; there's just so much there for you to work with -- I mean, come on, who isn't laughing at this thread?
Or this quip from OldPosterKnownAsCranky:
That building would be great for Lazer Tag games.
Or this one from Wizzyliz:
So would they call the new building the Fourth Church of Christ, Scientist??
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Half-exposition on internet anonymity, half-plea for lovin': ladies and gentlemen, there's only one boondoggle.
I too find woman physically attractive and would like to sleep with her.
These somewhat perverse thoughts need to be shared with the world at large. I would truly be doing humanity a disservice if these thoughts, which are important and insightful, remained only with myself.
Everyone here will take much enjoyment and insight from the fact that I, completely anonymous to everyone here, find her attractive and would like to have sex with her.
To those of you who fear that this will be the only time you'll read of my unfulfilled libido being directed at an online photo with zero sexual content, I say to you, do not worry. If I do not find the time to comment on the attractiveness of any interview or article subject, my brethren, like in mind and spirit, will surely carry on the torch for me. For there are many, if given the chance, we would like to have sex with because they are pretty.
I understand if you want to reward me, in some way, for providing you with the insight into what is no doubt an amazing mind. Trust me when I say the fact that my words will make you smarter, happier and more complete is reward enough. For I, boondoggle, would like to hook up with this chick.
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Oh, and this, too. Just because, you know, we haven't had enough arguments about bikes, cars and pedestrians in quite sometime around here.
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Total bummer: HBO pulled the plug on this year's Screen on the Green. (Your trusty combudsman was just as upset as you all were.)
Although there are a whole bunch of other festivals out there, folks like um are obviously still hurtin' after losing the chance to do the HBO dance:
damn. the problem with all these "alternatives" is that they sound frickin' horrible. and indeed, the movies being shown at them are mostly (a) Top Gun-type nonsense that everyone has seen a million times or, god help us, (b) documentaries. can't we at least get HBO to curate one of the other festivals? or AFI? or BHO?
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RuPaul is headlining this year's Capital Pride Festival; whfsdude will be there, and he's recycling!
Time to edit some Ron Paul signs.
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DCist writers love C.H.U.D., why boneless, skinless chicken breast is killing America, and cocaine cheese. Happy Wednesday!
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sordid is right -- we also considered Dragons, Express, Stallions, and Sea Dogs for this headline:
It was originally supposed to read Council Budget Bullets. But in an effort to tide the violence in the streets of DC, DCist opted to change it to Council Budget Wizards, but that wasn't appropo, so they went with Highlights instead.
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Apparently, everyone looking for Red Wings coverage on the non-existent Detroitist wandered over for our take on Game 7.
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Good, WOV, I'd like to talk with them about how they can make $852 an hour by using Google:
There's no "getting taken off the list". Ever seen those flyers from like "platinum enterprises" to start your own business at home? Ever wondered who the dum-dums were who picked them up? Press 1 to talk to one live.
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This week in the Magical World of Monkeyrotica, Monkey tackles commencement addresses and whether or not anyone actually pays attention to them (answer: no).
Does anyone ever pay any attention to any commencement speaker? Who the hell wants to listen to a stream of platitudes from some quasi-famous jerk while you're nursing a hangover? God, all that "go forth and do great things" claptrap gets me pig-biting mad. You know who they should get to be commencement speakers? A billionaire necrophile and a bum who sells his a$$ for food. There are your two career paths, kids. Take your pick. Wanna be a millionaire overnight? JUST GO OUT AND F**KING DO IT. Now STFU and GTFO.
Also: more strippers.
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DCist commenters debate: do CCTV cameras in Metro stations actually do anything to defer crime, or are they simply in existence to help solve crimes after they happen?
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djgroovyslug points out what makes living in D.C. so wonderful:
If having rats digging through trash in the back alley qualifies a restaurant for closure, 70% of DC residents shouldn't even be eating in their own homes.
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Ah, yes, and the complete transformation of Google into Skynet continues, unabated.
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And, as Matt Valentine explains, this was how the Alcohol Control Board ruined the local bar economy:
This could take out all of 18th St. or at least every bar with a restaurant license...
Everyone who came to Adams Morgan to get drunk at Bossa and Bobby Lew's goes elsewhere, thereby raising their percentage of alcohol sales. Then two more bars shut down, and so on and so on.
I anticipate free drink with your food type specials. Think bagels with a shot glass of lox flavored vodka in the middle... or the more practical beer with your burger.
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Rumors of Ben Stiller's demise have been greatly exaggerated.
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It's the last peg of What's That You Say?, where we've been hand out awards for things you probably never think about. Because we can, damn it.
This Week's Username of the Week goes to Re-District-ed. Aww, it's kinda creative and deals with local politics!
As far as our Avatar Award For Achievement In The Field Of Avatars, michgant has the most terrifying avatar I've ever seen in putting together this roundup. No, really, this scares the hell out of me. (The fact that you list your job as being in government makes it even worse, mitch. Remember: someone's always watching.)
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