Go Home Already: Shouts and Murmurs
Man Stops Traffic at 17th and K to Demand $200 Million
Compromise Uncertain on Same-Sex Marriage Law
Morning Roundup: Goodbye, Abe Edition
Judge Throws Out WTU Suit Over Teacher Layoffs
>> It's not quite an apology in the strictest sense of the word, but Mayor Fenty did take responsibility for the escape of a youth from the New Beginnings detention center over the weekend. Fenty remained optimistic though, calling the the center "a fantastic facility, a fantastic concept."
>> Several hundred workers at the U.S. Department of Transportation building on New Jersey Avenue SE were evacuated today after a suspicious package -- which was drenched in fuel -- was found in a second-floor restroom.
>> Sure, this guy could get off with three years in jail and a fine -- but there's surely a special place reserved in hell for someone who kills an eight-week-old puppy by heartlessly punching her in the skull.
>> Real estate developers and new City Administrator Neil Albert aren't exactly big fans of the D.C. Council's proposed Budget Support Act, which is scheduled to be voted on during tomorrow's session.
>> Well, every other one is coming here, why not? Stanley Cup of Chowder wonders whether Alex Ovechkin should get his own reality show. (We probably wouldn't complain that much about this one.)
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"a fantastic facility, a fantastic concept"
Yes, fantastic way to house some of the most violent offenders in the DC criminal justice system. On a college-style campus surrounded not by fences or barbed wire, but by rose bushes.
It is fenced in, just not razor-wire-topped.
and If the goal is simply incarceration then a college-style campus isn't a great idea, but if your goal is rehabilitation then it's a much better idea. Were there any success stories from Oak Hill other than some temporary "gains" with worse long-term results?
I heard they subsequently did install razor wire, but they painted it an attractive shade of cornflower blue. The spikes are gold so they resemble honeysuckles.
Honestly, if they're so concerned about not creating a negative, prison-like environment, they should just electrify the fence and put all the warning signs in esperanto.
As a total aside, I think the Dick Burns series of stories would be a lot better if they had Encyclopedia Brown type endings.
I tend to side with the Shakespearean standard of comedies ending with weddings, tragedies ending with funerals, and dramadies ending with Jennifer Aniston hooking up with a turkey baster.
Averto! Kontakto kun ĉi tiu barilo vol rezult je severa elektrokuto kaj ebla perdo de la generaj organoj.
Very happy to see that there are esperanto translators online...and I must say, Mr. Ian, I nearly did a spit take when I read the translation on this one. Well played, sir.
So what does it even mean anymore when a politician says they "take responsibility" for some some heinous screwup? Back in the day, it meant they resigned, or went to jail, or paid a fine, or anything besides just paid lip service. I guess in Fenty's case it means he'll only disappear for three weeks with his aberrant coterie of oil-soaked Middle Eastern pervert pals. This should really cramp his style, seeing as this week they were planning on re-enacting that very special episode of New Zoo Review where Henrietta Hippo discovers her lesbian clitoris.
Can we borrow the "Puppy Punching Monster" from Frederick Co., so that we can lock him in a death-match with the "Tax thieving Cryptkeeper." If we installed a cage at Nationals Staduim and charged $10 a ticket, just imagine the revenue that would raise for our schools! We could probably pay back everything the Cryptkeeper stole.