Photo of the Day: November 27, 2009
Car Pushed Into Anacostia River By Train
Morning Roundup: Black Friday Edition
Devendra Banhart @ 9:30 Club
Saturday Thanks Don't End At Thanksgiving Photo: November 28, 2009
The Post takes a look at some court papers filed by the attorney for Office of Tax and Revenue embezzler Harriette Walters, and finds that her legal team is arguing for leniency during sentencing by playing the "she had a rough childhood" card. The lawyer wrote that Walters stole the money so that she could give some of it away, which made her feel better about herself.
Tabackman attributed her father's "central role as the family's gift giver" as the "source of her documented practice of giving away extraordinary sums.""The ability to play the role of benefactor was a particularly strong motivating factor in the continuation of the scheme," he wrote. "While Ms. Walters recognizes that spreading the wealth she obtained through illegal conduct does not justify or excuse the conduct, it is equally clear that Ms. Walters was genuinely desirous of helping others."
That's a pretty interesting definition of "helping."
Walters is scheduled to be sentenced later this month.
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Last time I checked, there was a difference between "hush money" and "gifts."
Then again what do I know? The mafia says otherwise!
"Rough childhood" is the new "jive a$$ honkey auditor muthaf**kers."
One of the worst arguments I've heard in a very long time.
i guess the lawyer has to make some kind of argument. but this? seriously?
Concur. When the government has your client dead to rights, it's best to shut up. This is a fairly novel approach though - my client is Robin Hood!
To be fair to her attorney, that haircut is a rebuttable presumption of a poor self-image.
I can totally sympathize with Harriet Walters. I too had a rough childhood. An ill-advised amorous teen liaison with a woodchipper left me a few inches shorter and none the wiser for the experience. Plastic surgery and herbal viagra (NOT A DRUG!) gave my wang a new, 14" lease on life, but a lifetime of self-esteem issues has also led me to a sordid life of crime, wanton incontinence, and tipping 50 percent in restaurants regardless of the quality of the service or food. And while I eventually served my debt to society for manhole cover and mattress tag trafficking, I often find myself shoplifting "for revenge" and peeing on the rim out of spite. Fortunately, as anyone in AA will tell you, relapse is a part of recovery. I just wish it didn't smell so bad and hurt when I pee.
I might be behind on this, but cryptkeeper?
http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e80/bigkj68/cryptkeeper.jpg
Yup. Definitely behind.
My cryptkeeper impersonation sounds so much like my Cobra Commander that I really should quit both. You do wonder, though, if she shares his obvious delight in those macabre puns.
Also: is this the hairstyle that $31 million buys? I mean, imagine how she’d look if they had skimmed less money.
You may be behind, but I can never see a picture of her without getting a little startled. Note to future DCist posters: please just use another picture so the children don't lose sleep every time she comes up.
She's no beauty, but I'll still take her to the goddamned f**king creepy clown pictures.
Point taken.
Point taken.
I'm getting more of a "Predator" vibe. But I might be behind on this, too.
Dr. Evil: Very well, where should I begin? My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery...
You mean to tell me that Walters stole all that money for effing luge lessons???
I think her lawyer will use the Chewbacca Defense next.
I always forget what the Chewbacca Defense is. Must be the desk bourbon. Here's a link to it's meaning for those that are forgetful as well.
Or the fact that I had a rough childhood growing up as alas, I never did get a pony and my parents bought me the wrong color bmw for my sweet sixteen. sigh.
Look at the monkey!
Indeed.
My plan is to visit her in jail and have her fall in love with me. When I gain her trust, she will reveal to me the whereabouts of lost loot. I will then use the money to open a series of bi-species underground stores beneath Dupont Circle.
Does any one know how to spell "Bitch"?
V-i-c-t-i-m?
Well done Liz.
I say let's Waterboard her; then listen to her defense.
That's all fine and dandy, but would you do her?
Hell no. She's the one with a self-esteem issue, not me!
That and she's not a virile angst-ridden teen?
You all are missing the point. Before Harritte was busted. She funded massive parties underground for the CHUDS. In the wee hours of the night, we'd be getting it on something funky. As a matter of fact, several of her CHUD buddies were responsible for rewiring most of DC which in turn allowed her set-up her elaborate computer network. The CHUDs were also responsible for most of you who now have FIOS. Ladies and Gentlemen, Harritte Walters is a CHUD!
In our Church, we try to help people to help themselves...to cars, washing machines, lead piping, no questions asked. We are the only Church, apart from the Baptists, to do respray jobs.
In true DC style, she should be sentenced to serve her time in a "College campus-like setting" in Laurel where the only security is a hedge of rose bushes.
By the way, as a white man who dared to move into this city, its all my fault.