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Morning Roundup: Second Helpings Edition
Go Home Already: Shouts and Murmurs
Fire at 17th and L NW Forces Evacuations
We were all set to write off the Associated Press's latest attempt (via WTOP) to recycle the "National Mall is a National Disgrace" story template, which has been a favorite of the local media for years now (for examples, see last year's versions here and 2007's here). We all already know that the National Mall is looking pretty banged up, with cracked walkways, dead, trampled grass, dying trees and mud making what should be the country's pride and joy look shabby and depressing. We also already know that when President Obama tried to steer $200 million out of his stimulus package to renovate the National Mall, it was killed by the House. But the AP's Brian Westley and Brett Zongker have done a nice job of reporting out the story behind the story: that members of Congress routinely earmark money for national parks in their home states, while torpedoing such efforts for the Mall, which, by virtue of being located in the District, doesn't have any powerful members of Congress to fight for it. Here's the meat:
All told, Congress sent home more than $181 million in earmarks through the park service budget last year _ an election year _ according to data compiled by the group Taxpayers for Common Sense and analyzed by the AP. Nearly half that money was driven by lawmakers who were on the House and Senate appropriations committees.Read the whole thing.Earmarks are used to boost projects both large and small. In 2008, there was $20 million for dam removal at Olympic National Park in Washington state with help from Rep. Norm Dicks, D-Wash., who oversees park service funding; Sen. Robert Byrd, chairman of the Senate Appropriations Committee, sent more than $3.3 million home to West Virginia, including $123,000 to restore a Mother's Day Shrine. Lawmakers sent millions more home to restore county courthouses and local historical sites that aren't even part of the national parks.
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$123k for a Mother's Day shrine? really? isn't that something that can be fixed up with a bake sale or a Mother's Day volunteer effort?
Also, can we ban softball from the Mall? I'm fine with soccer, kickball, frisbee, even quidditch, but I almost got beaned by a fly ball yesterday while on a run, and another team had outfielders ON THE WALKING PATH!
Well, gee. You wouldn't want to make them walk a mile away, would you? http://tinyurl.com/kv3f6q
Oh, wow. Two whole fields...
actually, 8 whole fields...and what look like two ghost fields on the north side of the Lincoln Memorial
Those fields you pointed out are all licensed fields, meaning you can only play if you've entered into the field license lottery and subsequently won one.
Otherwise, you're limited to public spaces, which are few and far between in DC - which is why everyone goes to the mall.
Also, they are a mile away, and if you've seen the type of people who play beer league softball... you're asking a lot for them to walk a mile.
And where would they park? *shudders at the thought*
Along those lines, I could stand to see softball banned just so I don't catch the sight of those beer leagers bent over at the bat in summer shorts- I have been blinded a few times.
But seriously: flying balls, lots of non-participating pedestrians 50 feet away, not a good match.
Why don't joggers just keep an eye out when they're passing a softball game?
I don't know about joggers but some of us that walk on the Mall have bad eye sight, and some are even completely blind... our right to walk on the mall in relative safety overrides your desire to play ball without any concern for those around you! I almost got hit a few days ago myself and I couldn't even see it coming, luckily someone was kind enough to yell "watch out" at me and I just happened to duck in time...
I'm not against playing games on the Mall, but I think there needs to be some limits and more consideration shown by those who use it for games involving flying objects like that. I understand the valid arguments about a lack of public space in DC... but do you think that the French park service would allow you to place baseball on the lawn at the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre? I don't think so!!!
"but do you think that the French park service would allow you to place baseball on the lawn at the Eiffel Tower or the Louvre?"
Well, der, of course not. As they hate America and all things awesome. I bet they would have any problem throwing around day old baguettes or insufferable Sartre books.
But in all serious, in defence of athletic activities on the Mall, it is designed for mixed use. I think before we look to banning other people's use of mixed use, we should look at our own use of mixed use. Not that you don't have valid concerns, I'm just sayin. Also, is there as softball ban on the Champ de Mars? Now, the Louvre ground, hello, glass pyramid, obviously.
the French play baseball?!?!?! great now we have to call it freedomball and play with justicesticks!
1) I'm not jogging...and if I have to constantly watch out for line drives, based on that logic, people walking should get the hell out of my way when I'm going 5:30/mi pace, instead of me politely dodging and going around them. Also, 4 year olds shouldn't have to watch out for line drives.
2) Beer league idiots backing up for pop flies on the walking path aren't paying attention to little kids and people with strollers, etc.
There are other open spaces away from the walking paths that are surrounded by trees and therefore not nearly as much of a hazard. There's also real softball/baseball fields around the city to use.
Amen. I was running yesterday and an outfielder ran out into a the dirt path to field a fly ball, only to miss it. If I were 5 seconds ahead we both would have been at the same spot.
There is also the rugby field across from the holocaust museum which no one EVER uses. Could definitely fit 3 softball games onto it...
Nope, it's actually used quite frequently; but please ... be my guest! Demand all the PAC members to leave the premises themselves so the Busch Light Squad can take the field. It should make for an interesting conversation. :D
Soccer and frisbee do more damage to the grass than kickball and softball. Just saying. Crybaby.
How in the world do frisbees damage the grass? And while we're on the subject - wonder if Molly is a frisbee kinda' dog. Just asking.
I was assuming they meant ultimate frisbee, where the runners are just as active all over the place as soccer players.
Bleh -- this is a tired topic. Grass will never survive the volume of foot traffic the mall gets. So we can either restrict access to protect the grass, or accept that the grass is going to look bad but can be used for all sorts of public activities, ranging from soccer to civil rights marches. Kind of a no brainer.
Well, I'm in support of astroturfing the grass. Turf technology has come a long way. You would hardly know it's not grass! (except for the 10-15 degree higher surface temperature and the little bits of ground up tires that stick to your skin)
Simple solution: Landmines.
Alternative: Flaming poo!
The AstroTurf idea would either get a ton of support from the Texas delegation or a bunch of whining from the rest of Congress over our desire to not use real grass in our nation's backyard. Or both.
I, for one, am all for it. But keep in mind that it's probably relatively simply to keep grass in good shape, with no need for artificial grass.
That's tacky, I'm sorry... I've seen the 'fake grass' you're talking about, and it's convincing from the bleachers of a stadium but not if you're actually sitting on it... so rather then do that, let's just take better care of the grass and not be so quick to allow people to do things that wreck it. If you tried to go set up tents, semi-trucks, heavy equipment, etc. in the middle of Yellowstone Park, the park service would have a coniption fit--so why do we allow it in THIS national park? I'm fine with the pedestrian use, but the heavy equipment needs to be kept to a minimum... it's the tents pitched for weeks at a tim that do this...
I disagree with your "oh well" kind of reaction. Have you seen pictures of heavily used public spaces in other countries? Almost NONE look as crappy as our National Mall... and no excuse justifies throwing your hands up in the air and shrugging it off. Foot traffic or not, there are ways to maintain a decent lawn while still allowing it to be used--it's all a matter of care and upkeep and perhaps a few limitations--like not just setting up tents just any old place and rolling in semi trucks to tear up the roads and grassy patches!
Like many things aimed at improving the life of District residents, this is just another example of politicians flaunting their legislative muscle to continually mock and oppress the locals--because they can! It all stems from this idea (thanks largely to Home Rule) that the District and those who live there, don't really matter to anyone... After all, what's 600,000 urban residents compared to 400,000 in states like Montana, Wyoming, etc. who need just one more back road or playground on their suburban lawns. It's unfortunate that so many people have no objection to this continued legislative harassment of DC and its residents' plight.
The Mall, while already being a spot in DC that I have many fond memories of, is a total embarassment as a national park. Gravel and dirt walkways? Dead grass that's not watered or re-planted when damaged? Old and broken (and too few) benches? Poor lighting and unsafe traffic crossings? How can anyone think this is anything but a reflection of the state of American life? Something once grand and idealized across the world has decayed into mis-managed and poorly cared for redneck-style backyard--a lot like many of the less material ideals our nation used to support.
I'm not saying let's drop a billion dollars on poinsetta's or rose gardens... but would it really hurt to drop a few million dollars to keep the grass in better shape, add more benches, improve the lighting, put in genuine concrete sidewalks and add some permanenet restroom and multi-use vending facilities? Would it really hurt to create some general rules of where vehicles and tents can be placed and for how long? Perhaps charge a fee for users that destroy large portions of grass with vehicles and structures? It seems like we should want the nation's capital--at the very least the monuments and their lawns most seen by tourists--to reflect the very best this nation has to offer! Instead, our nation's capital is a poverty-stricken, crime-ridden, worn out and torn apart urban city in shambles because of politicians who are more concerned about scratching the asses of their constitutents and bolstering their campaign to give two hoots about the residents of the city in which they maintain absolute authority and control over.
I hope someday one of those flashy senators and congressmen has need of an ambulance or other public service in DC. I hope perhaps they are bringing over a dignitary or important figure and whitness as the guest trips over a pothole on the Mall lawn. I hope someday these people start taking more seriously the lives and concerns of the more than half a million people who live and work within the borders of this 'national capital' so easily taken for granted! The Mall IS a disgrace and a completely preventable disgrace at that!
Look at pics of the Sheeps Meadow in Central Park before and after the new irrigation system. It CAN be done.
Or, just watch Hair or the original Out of Towners. It was a dust bowl like the Mall, and they turned into an awesome space.
okay, last guestguest post
Pal, GET A NEW IDENTITY!
Its a guest account. reset the password if you want to claim it.
really? Meh, screw it. I'll just change my identity.
The other thing that really sucks are the ruts in the dirt caused by the rain. Man, think of the stimulus moneyz that could have been used to build recycled rubber (a la fancy running tracks) walking/running paths and irrigation systems. Green joerbs and all that hopey goodness
But fuck it, I blame Jefferson and Madison for wanting to put the capital on a MALARIA INFESTED SWAMP...
Problem with those recycled rubber paths and playgrounds is that they're toxic.
In other words, they're perfect for DC.
What he said!
I think we need to make use here of all those people playing kickball, softball, football, bocce, polo, human chess, etc. on the Mall. I say give them all those spiked-aerator shoes that you see advertised in SkyMall, allowing you to casually aerate the lawn while strolling around. I can pick some up on my next flight. Bam, Mall's aerated, and plus it adds an interestingly dangerous element to kickball.
Plant marijuana on the Mall. Cash crop no one would walk on and a source of revenue for the District.
The Mall is a dirt lot furnace. If they're not going to re-seed, they should take it back to the Lincoln-era Central Park-style mall, with lots of tree cover and paths and friggin vegetable gardens so dcist can have lots of photos of priapic vegetables and sexy, sexy feet.
And isn't the Mall due for a massive overhaul redesign anyway? WTF happend with that plan, or is it stuck in analysis paralysis?
They should add a roller coaster and bumper cars to go with the merry-go-round. Or just move that whole package to Hains Point which, dead fish smell aside, has a better atmosphere anyway.
Can we just charge a grass-tax along the lines of California? Except our grass tax will be taken at the outskirts of the mall, only DC residents allowed in for free, everyone else must pay $1.34, which will be put towards re-sodding the entire mall with genetically engineered anti-skid, licorice scented, grass every week.
Can't we just put up "Keep off the grass" signs? I don't know anyone who ignores signs. The signs would have to be multilingual, have pictograms, and be in braille. They would also explode if you walked on the grass. But that's a small price to pay for a green lawn.
We could hire a Clint Eastwood lookalike to stand on the the mall, brandishing an M1 rifle and yelling "Get off my lawn!"
I think 100 or so cardboard cutouts which look like this placed in the grass might work.
Page not found!!
Your link appears to be a .jpgl, which is a format the CHUDs that run the internet fazed out years ago. I think you need to find a new source for your porn and gun-totin' photo needs.
if it's so blighted, why don't we just turn it into an airport (i know: 'national mallport!')?
so many tasks we could tick off our to-do list:
- DC needs an airport inside its borders
- DC needlessly competes with NYC
- who doesn't like a good hoax to get the blood flowing?
(don't worry, this will be funded right around the same time WMATA gets a dedicated funding source...)
The Reagan International Reagan Mallport Reagan is in the muthaf**kin HOUSE!
Funny you mention WMATA... I read in a historical book written on Metro that during the inception the planners wanted to put a Metro station (and a very elaborate fancy surrounding area) right in the middle of the Mall. But back then everyone screamed bloody murder about how it would ruin the Mall. So instead the settled for the obscure hidden entrance that we now know as Smithsonian. Funny that 30 years later both the Metro and the Mall have fallen into sucky shambles of what their original designers had intended... Interesting how the government spends so much money maintaining lands far and wide that get maybe a few hundred visitors a year... but the things in their very front (and back) yards that draw millions of spendy tourists each year--get shafted at every turn! I'd like to see some of that money going to maintain the Capital grounds be diverted over to the Mall...
Even without a vote, Eleanor Holmes-Norton is more powerful than most of the members who get NPS earmarks for their districts.
Imagine for a second if the DC government stepped up and offered to provide funding for the National Mall or Rock Creek Park, or even Anacostia Park (which is visited by exactly ZERO tourists per year).
New York City is able to fund and operate Central Park, Philadelphia does the same with Fairmont Park, Chicago with Grant Park, LA with Griffith Park, etc.
DC wants the National Park service to pay for the big parks, then whines when Congress considers DC a ward of the federal government.
The National Mall should be the federal government's responsibility. But not Rock Creek or Anacostia (let alone Greenbelt or the GW and BW Parkways). Those are local parks used by local residents and the funding for those parks should come from DC.
except DC doesn't own Rock Creek or Anacostia parks - the federal government does. ergo...
nor does DC own the Fort Cirle Parks or a number of the decrepit pocket parks across the city. if the feds want ownership, they are most definitely responsible for stewardship.
Nobody is going to jump in and take responsibility for something they don't own. That's just silly. No no, let us pay for your responisbility.
Really? The funding for GW and BW Parkways, located in Virginia and Maryland, respectively, should come from DC?
And that's fine, DC can fund the management of Rock Creek and Anacostia with appropriations from Congress...just shift the funding from DOI (NPS) to the DC Appropriations Bill and we'll be all set. But we can't forget Lincoln, Stanton, Marion, Folger, and all of the circles and little triangle parks on Capitol Hill...because certainly, no tourists use those parks either.
I think the argument that he is making is that Maryland could step up for BW Parkway and MD, VA, and DC could all step up for GW Parkway, respectively to jurisdiction.
Actually, until a few months ago, the City of Philadelphia did not oversee Fairmount Park. There was a separate commission.
Fairmount Park is supported by fees for various activities: golf courses, wedding photos, picnics, sports clubs, hiking/biking, etc. There are also other attractions that are technically in the park system and bring in money, like the Waterworks restaurant, Bartram's Gardens, Mt. Pleasant (and other) houses, Mann Center, etc..
Right so let's chalk that up with the deficit whic his what, $300 million now?!?!? DC doesn't have the money, the federal government does and although I agree with you that those parks should be run by local governments, it simply isn't possible. Money has been issued to the Mall but is consistently blocked by congressmen who want to instead send the money back to tiny little county parks back home which get no visitors and produce no revenue.
..."who want to instead send the money back to tiny little county parks back home which get no visitors and produce no revenue."
But it gets them re-elected.......BING!!!!!
The other disparity in this comparison is that basically all of the land around the National Mall - and thus the prime real estate in town - is owned by the federal government and so is free of local property tax. There's nothing comparable in New York, Philly, Boston, etc. and, if the space around the Mall was private development, it would bring in millions annually for the District. That's the money D.C. doesn't have to maintain the mall, if it owned it.
Until it gets a Cinnabon and a Starbucks, it's always going to be a crappy Mall.
I heard they are going to build a new National Mall out on the Beltway, and all the white people are going to flee from the old Mall.
They tried that already, but called it a harbor. Somehow it didn't work. Go figure...
You know, I have no problem with them moving the Mall out to the Beltway. But when the Smithsonian packs up and moves there, and when dollar stores and cell phone shops move into the old buildings that don't stay boarded up, I'm going to have to listen to a lot of racist bullsh*t from white people whispering under their breath about how "they" ruined the old mall. Hello, all the good museums moved to the new Mall; cart before the horse, assh*les.
Back in my day, a mall wasn't a mall without an Orange Julius, a Hot Shoppes, or a Hickory Farms store. People weren't afraid to get violent explosive diarrhea back then. You used to get it off of doorknobs and lampposts. Only way to get it off was pine tar soap. Yup, that's when a mall was a mall. A chicken in every pot and all the midgets proudly voted for Calvin Coolidge. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days, nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em! "Gimme five bees for a quarter," you'd say. Now where was I... oh yeah. The important thing was that I had an onion tied to my belt, which was the style at the time. You couldn't get white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones...
Screw that. It's not a mall unless you have a Spencer Gifts to get black light KISS posters and dirty cocktail napkins.
Ya know, with the recent deification of St. Michael Jackson, I bet Chess King could make a comeback.
I also heard that they're planning to convert it into a giant zombie pin and it's going to serve as a giant metaphor for contemporary American society. It's Cristo and George Romero's first collaborative project.
I say we pave it and put up a parking lot.
You see that pickup truck? You know what to do.
And don't get out until I get back with my stranglin' belt.
No more, Monkey! Please!!! Yes..no...yes....yes...no....more....more.....ahhhhhhhh.
Remember: the safety word is "taco."
I thought the safe word this week was "rhubarb". You keep changing them, which is just too confusing; I never know which non-sequitur to listen for.
43 comments....c'mon let's beat Molly!!!
Why would you want to beat a poor dog? Or a dead horse? Haven't they suffered enough?
How about the @#$!% tent at 14th. The permanent structure TENT advertising concessions. It's tattered, torn and fugly. Can we at least get rid of that sh!t?