Overheard in D.C.: Super Mega Edition!
After skipping last week (apologies, readers) due to a trip and long flights, this week's Overheard is jam packed with extra overhearingness, at no extra cost! What a deal!
Overheard of the Week: Busted!
On the Red line at about 11 p.m. on Thursday:
Train operator over the intercom, sounding angry: "The customer who made that comment can come up here and see me."
After the jump, fireworks, tourists doing the tourist thing, Nats fans, and unfortunately incorrect Metro station names.
Hear good stuff? Send it in! overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
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I'm so excited about this fish that I am unable to listen!!
At the koi pond in the National Arboretum:
A man and woman are walking up to the pond.
Man: (seeing a large koi) "Oh my God! Look at that goldfish!"
Woman: "That's not a goldfish, it's a koi."
Man: "I can't believe how big that fucking goldfish is!"
Woman: "I told you, it's not a goldfish, it's a fucking koi!"
Man: "How does a goldfish get that damn big?!"
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Finally, a decent comeback to the legions of opposing fans. That, and "Willis Tower"
Leaving last Saturday's Nats 5-6 loss to the Cubs:
Cubs fan: (chanting) "Let's go Cubbies!"
Nats fan: "Yeah, well we'll probably win the World Series before you do!"
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And "they" are??
Walking down 19th Street in Dupont on Saturday:
Guy 1 to Guy 2: "I would totally jello wrestle in front of the White House if they asked me."
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We're going to start using "cherry-blossomers."
On the Navy Yard Metro platform after Thursday's Nats game:
Metro policeman: “People, move it on to the middle of the train. Let’s pack the car right Nats fans. You not cherry-blossomers. You people know to do this. You live here.”
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What not to ask.
A woman walks into the ladies bathroom:
Woman in a stall: "Are you my bathroom buddy?"
Woman: "Noo?"
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Or is not, if you're talking about reality.
Waiting in line outside the 9:30 Club before The Dead Weather show:
Woman with long dreadlocks talking to male friend: "You see, time travel isn't good or bad, it just is."
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This one raises a lot of questions. Bottles? 15 beers? Can I have your phone number?
On the Blue Line towards Virginia, around 6:30 p.m. last Friday:
A group of 20-somethings are on the train.
One to the others: "I think I'll try to put some little bottles of vodka in my bra... I can't afford 15 beers at that place."
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Kind of wish it were, though.
Thursday night on the Yellow line:
Businessman gets on at National Airport and is talking loudly on the phone.
Businessman, after passing L'Enfant Plaza: "I just passed by Elephant Plaza, I'm on my way to my hotel."
He hangs up the phone and another passenger asks him "What is your final stop?"
Businessman: "Union Station."
Other Passenger: "Oh, I was wondering because you kept calling it Elephant Plaza...it's L'Enfant, not elephant."
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Hopefully the 30-year old was his brother
On Arlington Ridge, watching the fireworks on the 4th:
30ish guy: "First fireworks for the black president."
Preteen: "They should make black fireworks for him."
30ish guy: "That's the dumbest thing you've ever said."
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Messing with tourists: always funny.
In a cab next to the Capitol building:
An Escalade with Virginia Tech stickers pull up next to the cab. A 30-ish year old American woman and male companion start talking to the cabbie.
Woman: (points to Capitol) "What is that building over there?"
Cab driver, sarcastically: "It's the White House. It's where Obama lives."
Woman, very excitedly: "For real?! That's where Obama lives?!" (to companion) "That's where Obama lives!!!" (to cabbie) "Are you for real? That's the White House, that's where Obama lives?!"
Cab driver, annoyed: "No, it's not the White House. It's the Capitol Building."
Woman: "Capitol?! Where is the White House?!"
Cab driver: "Down the street. At 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue."
Woman looks more confused. Looks at cab driver, looks at Capitol, looks at cab driver again, points to Capitol: "But Obama lives there?"
Cab driver: "No! I'm from Nigeria and even I know that!"
Cabbie drives away.
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Way to encourage your kid!
At the Fishing Cat exhibit at the Zoo a few weekends ago:
A group of tourists with thick Southern accents are looking at the animals.
Approx. 9-year old boy points in the water: "Look mommy, fish!"
Mom: "If you want to look at fish I'll take you to Wal-Mart," then yanks his arm and drags him away as people laugh at them.
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Honestly, at least try to defy the GW stereotype
In a West End condo building:
College aged girl talking/whining on phone in elevator:
"But nanny, I don't know how to do my own laundry..."
(note: I went to GW, so don't bombard me for being unfair)
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This staffer deserves a patience prize.
On a very crowded Blue/Orange line car near Federal Center SW, Thursday at 8:45 a.m.:
Tourist mom with heavy southern drawl to a Congressional staffer standing next to her: “So… is this like y’all’s rush hour or something”
Staffer: “Umm… yeah.”
Tourist Mom: “Oh ok. I only ask ‘cuz I’m from out of town. (pause) So do you ride the Metro every day?”
Staffer: “Yeah. Actually I don’t even own a car.”
Tourist Mom: “Are you serious!! Bill did you hear that? She doesn’t even own a car!”
(Another pause)
Staffer: “So I should tell you this tip about the escalators around here..."
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And finally, the waiter needs to know this because...?
At Floriana on 17th Street:
Guy in his 40s to the waiter: "No more food over here, my urine is gonna be soooo yellow."