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It's late August, which means college kids are back in town. Expect more crowded bars around Foggy Bottom and Georgetown, long lines at Target and Bed Bath & Beyond, and at least for a few months, more confused young people on the Metro. Some have their priorities, however.
Overheard of the Week
A 20-something guy with friends walking through Washington Circle: "I'm only here to drink."
After the jump, tourists, geniuses, and peeing.
Overheard in D.C. depends on you to hear funny stuff and send it in! So keep listening, and keep us in mind. Send your stuff to overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
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Pretty sure this girl just won the Nobel Prize
Two of 20-something colleagues at an office in Arlington:
Female Coworker: "I can't believe it's already Friday! The week went by so fast."
Male Coworker: "Yeah, I've noticed that since I've started working, the days go by a lot more quickly."
Female Coworker: "Know why that is? When you're older, every day becomes a smaller fraction of your life, so each one is faster. When we're 50, like, whoa."
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Burn?
On the National Mall:
Mom 1: "WOW, look at that beautiful church!"
Mom 2: "I wonder what denomination it is?"
Jogger: "That's not a church, it's the Smithsonian Castle."
Mom 1: "Oh, well... you can tell we're tourists."
Jogger: (sarcastically) "Who'd have thought..."
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That's amazing! And you're not even in Bogota!
On Columbia Road near Kalorama Park:
Man into his cell phone: "I am in the District of Columbia walking down Columbia Road!"
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Clearly he has yet to go to Smith Point
Overheard on the Red Line:
One just-arrived college freshman to another: "Did you know the guy across the hall is a
Republican? I'm like, 'Whoa, I've never seen one of you in real life before!'"
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And an expert at sounding pretentious!
In Eastern Market, at the map tent:
Vendor: "Are you a hobbyist?"
Customer, not jokingly: "I consider myself a student of the history of knowledge."
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Thank you for explaining that, professor
At the Nissan Pavilion during the Dave Matthews Band show:
Guy 1: (pointing at line) "You getting a beer?"
Guy 2: "Huh? This is the piss line...this where you get rid of the beer."
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He's got a point
Near the Navy Memorial:
A homeless man while crossing the street, talking to himself: "D.C. is only full of monuments and crazy people."
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Classy!
At Harry's bar on E Street a few weeks ago:
Mid 20s-30s guy, loudly singing into his direct-connect phone to the tune of Alice in Chains' "Rooster": "Yeah! You've come to suck my rooster!"
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Jogger needs to jog faster... How fast were the Moms walking?
Seriously! I'm an amateur jogger slowly trying to increase my own speed, but I'm sure I won't be able to carry a conversation like that with any tourists on the mall. If the jogger was actually walking, then that's more feasible.
Congratulations Jogger, Eastern Market Customer, and Guy at Harry's Bar! You've won dinner for three, all expenses paid, at Ray's the Junkpunch! We raise only the finest, milk-fed baby free-range fists, turning them into the brass-knuckled meal of a lifetime.
DMB Guy 2 coulda just said: "Yeh, hand me your cup for a refill."
Why do I read this crap? How many different ways can you twist the "make fun of a tourist" bs week after week? We get tourist are lost hahahaha yawn
Why is DC so lame?
Think of it as bird watching. Heck, I know I've popped a boner from time to time.
Sounds to me like Ignatius J. Reilly was the Eastern Market customer -- was he wearing a hunter's cap and did he have a mustache?
hahaha :D
Holy reference that I get! My pyloric valve is going nuts.
I'm with Ham. Yes, we have tourists. Yes, they are often confused and lost. But in their own defense a lot of the tourist signage in DC sucks and you do sometimes have to guess what the hell it is you are looking at, particularly from a distance.
And so what? Tourists ask stupid questions. It's never been particularly funny or interesting, and probably never will be.
I'm not quite sure why we are endlessly amazed by it.
The people that respond to tourists with snide remarks (like the jogger, or the cab driver from a few weeks ago) really rub me the wrong way. I appreciate sarcasm as much as the next person, but it doesn't hurt to be kind to someone that has traveled here to admire and explore our city. It's no wonder that most of the country has an unfavorable opinion of DC denizens.
Actually, I agree with engineergirl; I have rarely experienced anything other than common courtesy when traveling. Surely we can be helpful to those that just don't know even as we hose each other down with invective when we do.
does most of the country really have an unfavorable view of dc denizens? any more, or less so than, say, new yorkers? or old floridians?
Female Coworker has just commented on an auxiliary provision of the Theory of Special Relativity concerning the discrete quanta of a time dimensional continuum. Nobel worthy indeed.
that jogger sounds like a douche.
To me, it's important to distinguish between the two types of tourist cluelessness. One is the perfectly acceptable unfamiliarity with D.C. landmarks and their location. The second is unfamiliarity with the history surrounding them. It's the difference between not knowing where the Lincoln Memorial is and not knowing why we have a Lincoln Memorial. I've encountered the latter with disturbing frequency. Usually it's in the "history" lessons I overhear parents giving their children.
Maybe the jogger should jog somewhere with less tourists. Complaining about tourists in the tourist zone is kind of stupid. I mean, they actually get bussed in where dipsht decides to jog.
I've always made a point of being unfailingly kind and helpful and sweet to tourists, because I like them to say good things about my city when they go home. I do make fun of them later though. It's a win-win.
Exactly! That's the right way to do it. As for those who are crying foul about the tourist bashing...losen up people, pull the flag poles out your ass.
Found our jogger!