Photo of the Day: November 27, 2009
Car Pushed Into Anacostia River By Train
Morning Roundup: Black Friday Edition
Devendra Banhart @ 9:30 Club
Saturday Thanks Don't End At Thanksgiving Photo: November 28, 2009
We spend a lot of time in this column teasing tourists for doing dumb stuff -- asking stupid questions, not believing true things about the city, being obnoxious. They provide a lot of money to the city and to manufacturers of FBI t-shirts, but sometimes they're just funny.
Overheard of the Week
Saturday on the Red line:
A group of tourists get on the train with an elderly grandmother in a wheelchair.
Woman: "Grandmother, does this remind you of your younger days when you used to dance on poles?"
After the jump, weirdos on phones, in Eastern Market, and everywhere! They're taking over.
Keep the overheards coming, and don't forget to say who said it and where: overheardindc(at)gmail(dot)com
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Counting is hard
Outside Eastern Market:
A woman is shouting into a phone: "Two words... Two words... East, Capitol, Street... no, two words, East, Capitol, Street... two words!"
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This raises a lot of other questions.
At $1.50 beer night at Rock Bottom in Ballston:
Guy: "How come (guy's name)'s girl had herpes and yours didn't?"
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Congestion pricing! Get Jim Graham on the case!
On the "From the Cockpit" channel on a United flight on Sunday at National Airport:
United 604: "United 604 to ground. Can you find us a better path to the gate? We're bouncing around out here on the tarmac, all kinds of holes."
Control Tower: (with laughter) "Good luck with that United 604. Maybe we can do something with some stimulus funds, but they haven't shown up yet."
Another Pilot: "All the money went to CARS!"
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Oh crap!! Not that!
At Eastern Market on Saturday:
Woman in her 30s (almost screaming) to a much older man: "You better pull it together because now we are going to the vegetables section!"
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Let's hope all of those don't also ride with you
About 1 a.m. on Irving Street in Columbia Heights after a party got broken up:
Guy points to group of people: "All of these know that I drive drunk all the time."
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Probably not LOLCats
Outside of Metro Center, downtown:
Guy walking around in an expensive white dress shirt and tie talking on a hands-free phone: "I want the two and half million and I don't care what you have in those fucking e-mails."
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This is a good strategy
On the escalator at the Dupont Metro:
A roughly college-age girl talking to her friend: "And I told her, Mom, I don't stalk people like you on Facebook."
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What are they, amoebas?
A late-20 something man and woman are walking near 17th Street in Dupont:
Woman to man: "It's just that you're bending over backward to help these women. They can breed on their own."
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I think I saw this in Lethal Weapon 2
Thursday near Pennsylvania Ave. and 17th Street:
Two vaguely foreign men in business suits are discussing the new job that one of them has recently started.
Man: "The UN! That is fantastic! Much better than the IMF. So many benefits, you can do so much. And if you accidentally kill some German tourists...NO PROBLEM!!"
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And finally, last week's contest. Got a lot of good responses (many involving poop, oddly), but the winner to the age-old question of what Rosslyn smells like is jakers, with this:
Man: "Nah, that's not Virginia. I farted."
Woman: "Ha ha. Aren't you funny. No, seriously, Georgetown has a very distinct smell."
Man: "Like?"
Woman: "Like Drakkar made babies with a douche."
With honorable mentions to slim pickens and sordid
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Wow! I was on that same United flight and I heard the exact same conversation!! Although the submitter left out a few lines. It was hilarious and I event joked with the Captain about it when I was leaving.
Dude...so what were the lines?
The funny thing about the first one is the grandmother was from Germany, and by "poles" the grandmother meant Polish people.
How about that. I thought the same thing. Not sure that's a good thing. *tips cap*
I think they were talking about 'Maypole' dancing, not dancing 'on' Polish people. With the pole and the ribbons http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maypole
The screaming voices in my head: Two words... Two words... Molly, Hipster, Nickles... no, two words, Molly, Hipster, Nickles... two words!"
Why is this week "Sexy?"
That whole bit about "accidentally" killing German tourists. HOT.
Think it's the T-shirts ... (see photo)
What's not sexy about herpes and handicapped grandmas dancing on poles?
A: Absolutely nothing.
bingo
Vegetables and Drakkar. Totally sexy.
Those were two comics that worked the borscht belt circuit. They were the Martin and Lewis of their day. Their material was a little blue, but I'd hardly call it sexy.
Thank you, thank you. I'd like to thank Washington Improv Theater for their training, without which this would never have been possible. Also, poop!