Taco-pocalypse: Free Tacos from Taco Bell Truck

tacobellt.jpg Taco Bell is capitalizing on the roving food cart trend with a cross-country tour giving away free tacos. (Insert free gastrointestinal problem jokes here.) They'll be handing out tacos outside the GW Student Center from 11:30 a.m. - 3:30 p.m. before moving on to Rosslyn, near N. Moore and 19th Streets around 4:30 p.m. You can try out their fiery Volcano or regular crunchy tacos.

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It's not a "gastrointestinal problem." It's a gastrointestinal opportunity. An opportunity to make your voices heard: Taco Bell MUST bring back the Chili Cheese Burrito! Ever since the departure of this inexpensive, delightfully combustible foodstuff, restrooms in Taco Bells across the nation have been relatively silent. This silence must end! We demand a return of the noxious, deafening, robust "report" that can only be provided by the Chili Cheese Burrito! "Dry-a-rrhea with gusto" is the birthright of every hungover college student who can only scrounge up enough small change for a 99 cent menu item.

*gasp* You remember this too? I thought I had hallucinated it!

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Taco Bell...The Champagne of fast food.

That's Chipotle. Taco Bell is the Champale® of Fast Food.

I remember that crap - part sham, part pale, all headache! Couldn't touch grape Cold Duck.

You take that back! Champale was sparking and elegant! Just like a gold lamé baseball cap that gave you the runs!

See, now that's just disinformation. First of all, Cold Duck never came in "grape" flavor. And second, I've found that you can accurately reproduce the Cold Duck experience by merely mixing equal parts Blue Nun and Tab and sticking your finger down your throat.

Champale is yet another fine product brought to you by your friends in Trenton, NJ. "Trenton Makes, the World Takes!"

Wish I could get a proper taco truck to swing by my office. Or better yet, a papusa truck.

This just in. . . Taco Bell apparently hates Maryland.

Also, I'm with Monkey, bring back the chili cheese burrito. The only time I can find them is when driving up to the PA turnpike, where I pick up a bagful in Breezewood.

Hehe, "breeze" and burritos. And then I said "wood". Oh yeah.

~EEE~

Yo quiero Taco Bell! Actually I love the cute little puppy!

I wonder if the truck runs on natural gas.

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Not at the student center -- actually at 22nd and G.

No, but their food will give you the runs.

The Revenge of Montezuma knows no boundaries! Rohan has deserted us! Theoden's betrayed us! Abandon your posts! Flee! FLEE FOR YOUR LIVES!

[pants explode]

yo lo quiero el CHILITO!!

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taco bell: because farting is funny
taco bell: hey look, i'm peeing out my butt!

This TB truck doesn't exist.

You're right. The "free taco truck" is a postmodern metaphor for cultural imperialism, the sublimation of Latino identity, and those farts where you're not sure whether you pooped your pants or not.

Is the NEA still giving out grants for shart? We should get in on that action.

Nope. NEA stopped giving out shart grants a while ago. I already did the research.

You can thank Robert Mapplethorp for that one. I think it was his "Untitled #2 with Whip" that finally sent them over the edge.

Colon blow averted. They ran out of tacos in Rosslyn before 4:45.

Its pronounced "SHARD" as in "The bathrooms at the Marvin Center are filled with students who just Sharded"

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