Photo of the Day: November 27, 2009
Morning Roundup: Black Friday Edition
Car Pushed Into Anacostia River By Train
Devendra Banhart @ 9:30 Club
Courtesy National Zoo
Sure, National Zoo associate director of communications Pamela Baker-Masson offered some "reasonable" arguments why Happy left so suddenly.
"Please understand that we were not able to inform you of his departure in advance due to safety concerns surrounding this complex move," Baker-Masson wrote in an email to members of the media. "The Zoo’s primary objective was to transport the hippo safely AND provide for the safety of our staff and the public. Happy is keenly sensitive. Therefore, our expert animal care team deemed it necessary that we limit any disturbance and deviation from his regular schedule in order for the hippo to voluntarily enter his transport crate."
Sniff. Fine. Whatever. We guess we'll just have to comfort ourselves with the knowledge that Happy is now hangin' with two fine ladies, Patti and Puddles, for possible breeding in Milwaukee. At the National Zoo, he was all by his lonesome.
With Happy's departure, the Zoo will continue to move ahead with the renovation and expansion of the Asian Elephant Trail, which is scheduled to open in 2010.
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Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out, you fat, ungrateful f**k. And while you're at it, have fun in Milwaukee with your two whores. Hope you don't catch anything that makes your hippo dick fall off, you ugly bucktoothed bastard.
Seriously. Anyone who sleeps around with a woman named Puddles should be ready to face the consequences.
Good riddance, Happy's been taking about moving for years now. I was sick of hearing that hippo-ster complain about how DC sucks, and how he was going to move his fat ass to Brooklyn or Portland where people would appreciate his artiodactyla-fartiodactyla BS.
First the Baltimore Colts and now Happy. When will it end?
good for him! it's cruel to be held in captivity with none of your own kind around for socialization.
now, if he's successful in getting it on with those fine female hippos, can we get a few back here down the line?
i'm guessing butterstick wouldn't be an appropriate name for the kids. how about 'i can't believe it's not a tub of lard'?
Hear, hear!
Don't you mean, "Eye, eye?"
Well, with two honeys waiting for him and fresh cheese curds, looks like he has a reason to be called Happy.
By you rationale, shouldn't he be called, "Crappy?"
Do NOT envy the guy who has to clean up this jerk after a poutine binge.
I understand Patti and Puddles are two BBWs.
Jesus, is Happy still a virgin at 28? I'd sneak out in the middle of the night too... Here's hoping a big ole Hippo Orgy awaits him in Milwaukee.