Updated Forecast: In Excess of 8" of Snow, Plus Wind
Federal Govt. Closed Tuesday
And Now, 10-20 Inches
Morning Roundup: After the Snowfall Edition
Good morning, Washington. We realize we're risking speaking too soon here, but the 9/12 crowd appears to mostly be gone from the city as of this morning. Approach with caution, but the National Mall, Union Station, and various other tourist haunts may be considered cleared for normal use. We repeat, the National Mall is 'OK to go.'
Off-Duty D.C. Officer Shoots Man in Hyattsville: WaPo: 'An off-duty D.C. police officer shot and critically wounded a man who authorities said was "tampering with the officer's personal vehicle" early Sunday in Hyattsville. The shooting occurred about 5:30 a.m. in the 3600 block of Nicholson Street. Hyattsville and D.C. police said the man was expected to live. No one was arrested or charged, according to police.'
Fenty in the Nation's Triathlon: Speaking of large events that closed a ton of streets in downtown Washington, WTOP covers Fenty's stint in the Nation's Triathlon on Sunday. The news radio station tries to push some kind of sad little athletic rivalry between the notoriously fit Fenty and the tennis-obsessed but still significantly older radio analyst Mark Plotkin, but all we really wanna know is, how'd Fenty do? The mayor finished 174th overall, with a total time of 2:21:18. (Note: apologies, we accidentally posted last year's results first, but we've since corrected them).
Briefly Noted: Two killed, two wounded in shootings over the weekend in Northeast D.C. ... Metro told to learn lessons from Labor Day track work ... Vacant office space soaring across region ... Pilot OK after crashing small plane into Rehoboth Bay ... Krispy Kreme brings Pr. William into sewer suit ... Toddler dies in drowning in Burke area.
This Day in DCist: In 2007, the District decided to stop giving away generic condoms that may have had faulty packaging.
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How does one go about obtaining a "sewer suit" large enough to fit Krispy Kreme AND Prince William? Is it two- or three-piece? What's it made out of? Egyptian cotton? Seersucker? Diarrhea? And how bad does it stink? Old 930 Club or just Roy Pearson-ey?
Feet!
Wake me when Fenty and Plotkin enter a biathalon, where they ski from Trinidad to Georgetown then shoot out Jack Evans' porchlights. The grand prize is tailor-made sewer suit.
Is the tailor-made sewer suit knit from Plotkin's back hair? Because that stuff looked pretty protective.
Once properly sheared, Plotkin wool is a cost-effective albeit smellier alternative to mohair. And like gloves woven from mussel beards, the stuff is practically bulletproof.
when they close down K street for this event, you know the lobbyist will be howling. hope it's on a weekend.
You got last year's results there. Fenty improved over last year with a 2:21:18 total time which was good for 174th overall (out of the race doubling 3933 total participants). Solid!
From what I heard at the time, Fenty was racing with an injury (knee I think?), so an improvement was definitely expected this year.
Is that the eponymous "lost symbol" in the new Dan Brown book? WAY TO GIVE AWAY THE WHALE CAKE DCIST!!
It's actually Page 47 of the President's Secret Book.
And DCist has yet to explain the mysterious white "ghost sewer suits" appearing all over town. Can anyone confirm that these are indeed meant to honor all the toilets that Marion Barry and Jim Graham have destroyed over the years, with their reckless consumption of Jumbo Slice and roasted babies?
Also: guys, a bidet is NOT a urinal, FYI. This is why you can't have nice things.
Ah yes. The Nation's Triathlon. Area endurance athletes gather to compete in three grueling events: using your political influence to get your children into a top public school, refusing to inform the press about your latest junket followed by 10 kilometers of lycra-based frotteurism.
Of course, the Marine Corps Marathon is coming up and burying 26.2 dead hookers is no small feat either.
Depends on how big your car trunk is and whether you have access to a woodchipper.
The Donner Kabob stand is doing booming business.
The Donner Kabob stand is doing booming business.
I'm really glad that Metro board member got to experience first-hand what a lot of us riders experience on a regular basis (if not daily for some)! Maybe if a few more Metro-pontifs were subjected to such inhumane treatment they'd take WMATA by the balls and give it a nice thorough shake-down.
Someone should be demanding Catoe's head on a platter... and his job...
How about his head on a third rail?
WMATA's problems are systemic: aging infrastructure and longer hours meets reduced funding and increased customer base. This is beyond a simple management issue. You could fire Cantoe and the entire board and nothing would change.
Thank you Monkey for calming the murderous rampage. You are exactly right.
But that doesn't mean that he shouldn't be fired.
That's a double negative! What you mean is that he SHOULD be aggressively frottaged by a gang of morbidly obese railway bureaucrat fetishists until he passes out from lack of oxygen.
Are you trying to tell me that firing Catoe wouldn’t reduce delays, lower fares and remove the need for periodic system maintenance? Because I’ve been reading DCist for a few years now and I’m pretty sure that he is solely responsible for every negative WMATA experience ever recorded.
I'm fearful your irony is likely lost on many here.
I like how the cops get to shoot someone for breaking into a car. If this was a regular citizen, he'd be in jail for the rest of his life.
Tampering!! The word is "tampering."
Yeah, I liked that word too.
Get back in the paddy wagon, Liz.
Was that a hatecrime? Sorry. Get back in the Irish-American wagon, Liz. Begorrah.
I talked to Fenty at Adams Morgan Day just a few hours after the triathalon. He looked like he could do another one right then. The man was glowing.
That was merely the Neet's Foot Oil with which he regularly douses himself. A little trick he learned from his Middle Eastern pervert handlers during their catch-the-greased-deaf-guy competitions.
"glow" is a side effect from spending more than 38 seconds in the Potomac
I'm beginning to think that the District's murderers really took Lanier's fewer than 100 murders challenge to heart. They've been making up for lost time in a serious way recently. What's the count at?