Photo of the Day: November 27, 2009
Car Pushed Into Anacostia River By Train
Morning Roundup: Black Friday Edition
Devendra Banhart @ 9:30 Club
Saturday Thanks Don't End At Thanksgiving Photo: November 28, 2009
Good morning, Washington, and welcome to the return of sweater weather! Last night, we felt downright chilly for the first time since spring. Also scheduled to be left out in the cold this week: an unknown number of DCPS teachers and staff. D.C. Schools Chancellor Michelle Rhee had previously announced that layoffs due to an expected $40 million budget shortfall would be handed down by today, but as FOX 5 points out, there still has been no announcement. Students at the Duke Ellington School of the Arts were the first out of the gate with a "save our teachers" rally on Tuesday. We're hearing the pink slips probably won't be handed out until the end of this week now.
Mendelson Smoking Bill Got Help From Phillip Morris: At-large D.C. Council member Phil Mendelson worked with a lobbyist for Altria, the parent company of tobacco giant Phillip Morris, before he proposed his recent anti-smoking legislation, the Examiner reports. See, it turns out that the provision that would ban the sale of single cigars, which is being championed by both Mendelson and Ward 7 Council member Yvette Alexander as a way of clamping down on the sale of drug paraphernalia, would actually benefit Phillip Morris, since the company's inexpensive Black and Mild cigars are already sold in packs of five. Oh, then there's this fun little nugget: "the day he introduced the bill, Mendelson received a $500 campaign contribution" from the same Altria lobbyist. Ain't politics grand?
Penn. Ave. Suspicious Package Was Petri Dishes: If the response to yesterday's first suspicious package scare, in the 800 block of Pennsylvania Ave. NW, seemed rather large, the Post has the answer why: some genius put several sealed petri dishes in the overnight deposit box at the Wachovia bank branch across the street from the FBI. The petri dishes turned out to be harmless, but you can understand why bank employees called 911 for something like that.
Briefly Noted: D.C. Schools security contractor appears in financial trouble ... Driver, aide injured in D.C. school bus fire ... Hyattsville police officer accused of pistol-whipping a man last year ... Police-involved shooting in Seat Pleasant ... Smithsonian Institution facing buyouts ... Metro sues developer over Orange Line damage.
This Day in DCist: In 2008, there was a bad dog attack in Petworth, and in 2005, the 9:30 Club raised the cost of its drinks by $1.
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You had me freaking out there for a second, Sommer. The ban on single cigar sales does not apply to sales out of a tobacco shop. Thus, I can continue to enjoy my D.C.-purchased Cohibas while sailing toward the Cliffs of Insanity.
I don't quite understand the blunt ban legislation before the Council today. Isn't marijuana illegal already?
Now, I'm a man of simple tastes. I like butter in my @ss and lolipops in my mouth. Life is about relaxing with a snifter of Remy Martin and Diet Coke, a bag of BBQ'in With My Honey Rap Snacks, and a pina colada blunt. You f**k with my leisure time at your peril. The old saw goes "Smoke blunts, not brothers." If you ban the delicious flavor of grape, apple, or bubblegum blunts, the resulting bloodbath will be on the Council's hands.
On the positive side, it's about time a new generation of drug addicted teens discovered the satisfaction of making your own "bong" out of an apple. And isn't it about time kids spent less time throwing rocks at whitey and more time building bongs in shop class? I can still remember my first attempt at a U.S. Bongs knockoff that I called, "The Cthulhu." Two feet of PVC piping, a plexiglass base, an old tuba mouthpiece, some door screen, and a half dozen interlocking, colored Crazy Straw tubes. Bit*h to clean, but at least I had the satisfaction of a job well done for a baked 15-year-old.
After a few months, the tubes got all caked with resin and the pipe cleaners wouldn't work and it was time to let her go. So it was off to Earthworks in Dupont for my first glass bong. Here I learned the valuable lesson that stays with me to this day: glass bongs exist for one purpose only, to be broken by your friend's cousin. As I got older, and got a job and a clue, I found myself longing for the simple pleasures of getting baked and staring at album covers. You kids a pretty young, but you'd be suprised what an old f**k can remember. Take me for instance. There was one time we were out getting high in the woods with Old Cthulhu and we forgot to bring bong water so I had to pee in the bong. And you know, I don't think a month has gone by without me thinking of that bong full of pee. Yes, both money and time behave like loose quicksilver in a nest of cracks. Once they're gone, you wonder where they went! And what the devil you did with them!
Am I in my cabin dreaming? Or are you really scheming, to take my $h!t away from me-ee-ee-ee?
You'd better think about it. I just can't live without it. So please don't take my $h!t from me-ee-ee-ee. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
because i'm culturally stunted, i gotta ask, what song is that at the end there?
The fact that you are unfamiliar with Grand Funk Railroad's "I'm Your Captain/Closer to Home" speaks volumes about your cultural illiteracy. You may, if you so choose, redeem yourself with a harshly worded critique of DC's abysmal small business development policy by referencing Rush's seminal album "Moving Pictures."
i'm an idiot. GFR is from flint, just down the road from where i grew up. should have recognized this one.
Eye see no shame.
You'll do better next time. I know it!
Comfort me, in whatever I do.
Comfort me, and I'll comfort you too.
Follow me, 'cause I'm trying to love you.
Who is Grand Funk Railroad?
http://www.metrolyrics.com/im-your-captain-lyrics-grand-funk-railroad.html
Cut IMGoph some slack. GFR was likely in their prime before he was born.
It sounds like someone ran Grand Funk Railroad's "I'm Your Captain" through the Monkeyrotica filter. You've heard of Grand Funk, right? The wild, shirtless lyrics of Mark Farner? The bong-rattling bass of Mel Schacher? The competent drum work of Don Brewer?
You remind me of the type of guy my mother warned me to stay away from. I listened to her and where did it get me? Sleeping with skeezy green card-scamming, Moroccan coke-heads who can't keep a boner longer than it takes them to strip. Thanks mom, I should have stuck with the greasy-haired, Kurt Cobain-listening, know-it-all 'Murican bred potheads who, it turns out, are now successful CEO's and buisness men. At the very least I would have learned how to make a bong.
Don't just "Say No to Drugs." Say "No, Thank You!"
Wait, so real men don't shisha? Wow, I learn something everyday on DCist! /really, no snark
It's mixed. But seriously, you can find some of the shadiest characters in the city at hookah bars in the wee hours of the morning.
Dammnit, now you've got me craving a lemon shisha and glass of hefeweizen.
You, sir, are everything that is right with the internet.
So the soul of DC council members are only worth a paltry $500? How much for three?
The DC Government Thieves, Villains, and Blackguards Commemorative Deck of Playing Cards has officially passed the 52 card limit. It has now become a six-deck baccarat shoe.
wow, sommer, that was one hell of a good transition there, from weather to school teachers. +1 for you this morning!
Double that ish.
+1+1=+2
who's going to be the last councilmember standing if we keep picking them off for shady goings-on? right now, it looks like cheh to me...
I will withhold judgement until her ties to the flashlight, telescope, and CHUD lobbys have been thoroughly investigated.
If council members can be bought so cheaply $500 ... ? Why don't we (the residents of Logan & Shaw) take up a collection, bribe (I mean contribute to the appropriate campaigns) and request that parking enforcement be a 24/7 thing - no exceptions!
You'd never see this kind of reckless behavior in Australia. In Australia, when you buy a politician, they stay bought, in Australia. They also have sex in the middle of the road, inside stolen cars, and in football fields. In Australia.
wow-oh-wow: grahamzilla, the hispanic baby killa.
Graham put the $3,200 late-term abortion onto his personal credit card, according to a receipt included in court records. Graham says, “This was a very difficult and personal time for Teddy,” adding that the money was paid back “promptly.” Loza says pretty much the same thing: “This is a chapter in my life that is painful and I would have no further comment.”
I'm sure Graham's predominately Catholic Latino constituency will find this very interesting.