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Cafritz Suffers Second Fire
We know it can be hard to approach that fine young thing sitting at the bar. And that's why Bourbon Steak has been trying to improve their patrons' game with hopefully slightly less embarrassing consequences. They've come out with a series of 10 coasters with classic pick up lines that you can slyly flip over and slide to your neighbor. Each coaster has a convenient spot for writing down your phone number. The current ones include favorites such as, "Are you legs tired? Because you have been running through my mind all night," and, "I couldn't help noticing you, noticing me, noticing you."
While we wouldn't say these coasters will guarantee success, at least you can knock back some excellent cocktails from bartender Jamie MacBain, and nosh on some quality nut mixes.
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Unsuccessful pickup lines include:
"My face is leaving in 5 minutes. Be on it."
"Do you smell gas or is that me?"
"You're kinda cute for a fat chick."
"If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I inside a tub full of P."
"F**k are you staring at?"
"Someone call Heaven, because I just strangled a hobo in the alley."
You left out my all-time favorite Jimmy Stewart pick-up line...
"Somebody ring a bell, 'cause I think an Angel just got some wings... in my pants!"
also:
"Wanna nosh on my quality nut mix?"
"How about a big glass of donkeypunch?"
"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"
"Mommy? Baby wants to f**k!"
"Baby, you so fine, I'd eat the corn out your dookie."
If my pillow had a hole in it, I would name it after you.
I'd suck a fart out of your ass and hold it like a bong hit.
These are f*ing hilarious comments. I would be amazed, though, if any of you have a significant other. Other than Monkey, whose wife is must be a saint to put up with his particular breed of insanity.
I have a significant other. I'm schizophrenic.
Thank you. Yes, I am feeling quite saintly. Hold on.
What's that, Monkey? Do I want to know what coloroform smells like?
Be right back.
"Can I borrow your valtrex?" or claiming to be the official vajayjay inspector are also good.
"Get outta my dreams and INTO MY PANTS!"
"I've got a mirror in my pocket because I can totally see you IN MY PANTS!"
"I love every bone in your body, especially the one that's IN MY PANTS!"
"Baby, you so fine, I'd suck your daddy's d**k IN MY PANTS!"
Pointing at my own crotch.
"Do you come here often?"
How about "wanna watch me make coffee from my kitchen window?"
Do you mean like this?
Man arrested for making coffee in own home while naked.
Jamie, you should know my favorite pick up line by now..."I put the FUN in 'funky,' you bring the KY."
Do you know Molly?
What's Your Sign?
Objects IN PANTS may be larger than they appear.
Internal use only.
Apply to infected area.
Close cover before striking.
Take any stuffed animal off the second shelf as your prize.
Is You Is Or Is You Ain't My Baby?
"My left leg is Christmas and my right leg is New Year's. Why don't you visit me between the holidays?"
“That shirt’s very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you I’d be coming too.”
I wish I could rearrange the alphabet so I could put U and I together.
Stop talking and get busy!
I wish I was your math homework because then I’d be hard and you’d be doing me on your desk.
If I were L'Enfant, I'd put U Street and I Street together.
You got me harder than Chinese algebra. The crack of dawn better be careful around me.
Just last week a guy tried this on a co worker "You are not the most attractive woman here, but you are probably the smartest"
This thread is a laff factory. I hope this is DC's contribution to Week Around the Ists.
My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in.
+#2
Love is like oxygen. You get too much you get too high. Not enough and you're gonna die.
Well MY love is like propane. It smells like $h!t and if you come too close with a lit match it'll burn your goddamned face off.
"So, that scent you're wearing... is it the unmistakable ambiance of lonely desperation?"
Wanna Fuck?
it's nice shoes, wanna fuck?
Fuck me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?
Is Bourbon offering a $5.95 chicken fried steak now? All you can drink Bud Light for $4.99? Because that's the type of place that would trot out those coasters.